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you have what i call some limited beliefs. Your current situation is more than a dilemma - it's a choice. Your choice is how to handle the cost of living in Westchester - do you complain and stress yourself about it? Or do you look for the opportunity to change your current situation. Which choice makes you feel good about yourself? Then, go with that one. That choice speaks of how you handle everything. In fact, someone once told me:
the way you do anything is the way you do everything.
Be strong. If you love Westchester and wish to stay, have faith that you will make more money, opportunities will appear and your life will stabilize. If you can't take it here, look for the opportunity to go on to a whole new world where your children may benefit from it much more than you ever will.
Your not a failure. By most standards you are better than average. As a 27 year old, married, i have to admit w/o the parents financial help, my DH and I would not be able to stay here. We made some great real estate buys since we got married a few years ago, and now work in R.E. We feel no matter how much income we have, you need to have some equity and real estate in the area to really make it long term. We struggled to get in, and really lucked out w/ a few good deals, but I can agree to feeling like a failure. We bought a house in a very wealthy area, fixed it up and now rent it. Save what $$ you can, or do a rent to buy, or get a condo. Real Estate (despite whats going on) is how many make it here. However, by the same token, dont get in way over your head, as that causes many people to have to leave as well.
Most of our friends live in co-ops in White Plains or moved into NYC, we prefer the country feel of northern W. The rest of our friends moved to other states, where prices are a joke in comparison. So, good luck!!
Thanks for all the help everybody. At least I am not alone in this. I agree with what a few said about "lifestyle." It's not just the housing. It's the way you are pressured to live up here in general. I had a job a few years back in which I had to wear suits alot to meet clients. I bought a couple of suit jackets and rotated them. I was self conscious around my much more well off boss and co-workers. Also, how you decorate your house, what type of car you drive, and even what you wear to the bar at night...it all ADDS up. And I was a stupid victim to spending my paychecks on keeping up with the jones's when I should have been saving it. I also agree with the fact that there is a problem on how I choose to spend money.
I realized it the other day when I was re-doing my bathroom and I went to Target. I wound up spending $400 on towels, bamboo baskets, a shower curtian, all the accessories and frills. When I walked out I was like...."I can't believe I spent this much money of fking TOWELS!" I read articles and watch design shows about people who spent $1000 on redecorating their entire house. I spent HALF of that on the bathroom (probably the cheapest room). And I'm not a frivolous person, at least I never thought I was. But the way that I was brought up was...if you want it, buy it sort of thing.
I've read all the budgeting articles. I even downloaded mvelopes (which costs $$), to help me with budgeting. But it's so hard. I guess I wouldn't call myself a "loser" after reading this. I think it's a combination of social pressure, westchester cost of living, our horrible economy, the crappy job market, etc. etc.
The thing is: You need money in order to get out. I probably will get out eventually. I just need to start saving in order to do so. My goal is to live in my in-laws house (which isn't great...but CHEAP), hoard some cash, and start buying my towels at the dollar store.
Ahhh...I guess everyone goes through this at some point in their life. It builds character right?
You are definitely not a complete failure! Westchester is really expensive and most of my friends that grew up there can't afford it ( most of them have college degrees). My friend Diane and her husband lived in Irvington and they couldn't afford it, so they moved up to Cold Spring. I lived in Westchester my whole life and I can't even afford to go back ( I am in AZ right now).
Hi, just my two cents and a little history on my experience. I grew up in NYC, BX, and lived in Ynks until I was 30. Moved to my favorite place Pleasantville. Purchased a condo, ended up getting divorce and worked 3 jobs (I work in real estate + had 2 office jobs), 7 days a week to pay for the condo. I forced myself to have some social life as I needed to get back out in the single world. Remarried convinced hubby to move from his 1400 sq ft townhome in CT to my 900 sq ft condo in Pleasantville. We loved the town very much and I LOVE NY but we couldn't stay. Guess where we are headed? CT--outside of Fairfield the taxes are cheaper. Will I miss WC? Of course so I am working both NY and CT so I can get my WC fix. You are in your late 20's which is still young, and at least you are realizing you don't need to spend $400 in Target! Budgeting is hard. I am now in my LATE, very late (haha) 30's and now budgeting is becoming easy because I don't want to keep up with my neighbor. You have to look at what you NEED and what you WANT, and keep the goal in mind (moving to your own place) and buy what you WANT, when you really NEED it! If you need help budgeting email me, I can give you some tips, etc. It took me and my hubby awhile. We are trying to attack our debt (mostly his student loans and one credit card). Another note on WC. It is great, but I have so many friends (that asked me for a referral to an agent down south) and that have moved to SC, NC, GA. and when I visit them and they have homes on lakes with boats or brand new 1800 sq ft townhomes w/stainless steel appliances, it makes me wonder what we are all doing by trying to hang on to WC and the 80 year old houses and the small condos with 1 parking spot, etc. There is no place like NYC or WC which is why I am relocating only 1 1/2 hrs. away but you never know...I might give up or give in and move to NC. Sorry to ramble! Keep your head up! You are doing the right thing! Most of my clients that are first time home buyers are in their late 30's and early 40's that is just how it is in Westchester!
Isn't it against the forum's TOS to be that young and a registered member?
Yes, and he's gone.
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