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wow - that article is amazing. I am planning a move to Westchester this summer and really want to avoid this "mean mom" scenario. Are Croton and Cortlandt a little better in this regard?
I would say that Croton is a bit better in that regard, but the reality is, every town seems to be broken down between two-income families, and stay-at-home-mom families.
Our children attend a daycare center, where virtually every parent works. No stay-at-home moms. And there is very little of the cliquish behavior described in the article.
On the other hand, my sister-in-law is a Chappaqua-stay-at-home mom, and I've seen her having to deal with "mom cliques."
I don't mean to oversimplify or stereotype, but it does seem to be more of a problem among stay-at-home-moms, who have the time to create petty cliques as their whole life revolves around their little town and other moms. But when both parents commute into the city, there seems to be less opportunity for clique building and clique exclusions.
We are in the 2-income camp as well, although both of us with somewhat flexible schedules enabling us to have some involvement during weekdays. I think I'll be able to get along and hold my own just about anywhere, I just don't like the thought of my kids being shunned because I can't work every bake sale or attend every PTA meeting, much less over the fact that I don't drive a Porche Cayenne.
Not every area is quite that bad. Croton is not as bad, nor is much of Northern Westchester. There's a divide, but it's more due to the limitations of time with working mothers and the SAHMs who feel inferior, as was stated in the article. You don't need a Cayenne, but perhaps you should consider getting at least an X5.
But seriously, in some towns in Northern Westchester, and adjoining Fairfield, there's an inverse relationship to the level of wealth and the vehicle driven, especially around town. The people driving the scruffy Volvo, older Benz wagon, or Suburban are likely to be wealthier than their counterparts in the new GL550 or Cayenne.
Not every area is quite that bad. Croton is not as bad, nor is much of Northern Westchester. There's a divide, but it's more due to the limitations of time with working mothers and the SAHMs who feel inferior, as was stated in the article. You don't need a Cayenne, but perhaps you should consider getting at least an X5.
But seriously, in some towns in Northern Westchester, and adjoining Fairfield, there's an inverse relationship to the level of wealth and the vehicle driven, especially around town. The people driving the scruffy Volvo, older Benz wagon, or Suburban are likely to be wealthier than their counterparts in the new GL550 or Cayenne.
Or, better yet, make a contrarian statement with a beater Suburban covered with mud from Bedford dirt roads. You'll be able to gauge community values according to the reactions you draw. bmwguydc refers, of course, to Bedford Village, South Salem Pound Ridge, Ridgefield, etc., and he's absolutely right. Same applies to clothes, grooming, etc. It's pretty funny sometimes.
As for the SAHM stuff, there's a world of difference in attitude between when mom feels (or is) compelled to work to make ends meet or support the lifestyle vs when she chooses to work but has the option not to. It's all about self-confidence and sources of validation. It seems like the former are far more prevelant down county.
bmw summarized it well; in any wealthy area (of any region not just NYC), the wealthiest rarely live in the biggest or most costly houses; sure, they often drive a Mercedes but it's usually not the latest or most costly model; many parents are Harvard alums and may be prominent executives in prestigious industries but seem rather mellow about their kids' achievements or college aspirations
In my expce, the wealthiest and highest achieving parents are some of most low-profile but interesting/inspiring people to be around....thankfully, it's usually ones who are neither particularly wealthy nor smart who tend to be most annoying and class conscious....but amusingly mockable...and suspect the kids of such parents are not far removed from parents' negative behavior
I just moved to the area and we are planning on buying a house in Larchmont. Having grown up around boats and water as well as having a French wife I think it is a right choice for us. I am originally from a very wealthy town outside of Detroit. People there are modest and many people with whom I went to school had fathers who were CEO's of major US corporations. Most of the time I had no idea what their father or mother did for a living until I read about them in the newspaper. I think it is so funny how people analyze each other in the NY area. While growing up I didn't even notice what kind of car people drove, nor would I make any kind of assumption based on the car they were driving. We recently got transferred to New York so we HAD to relocate here and I have a feeling it is going to be a tough time getting used to the people and attitude around here. Please tell me there are some "normal" people living in these towns!!!
I just moved to the area and we are planning on buying a house in Larchmont. Having grown up around boats and water as well as having a French wife I think it is a right choice for us. I am originally from a very wealthy town outside of Detroit. People there are modest and many people with whom I went to school had fathers who were CEO's of major US corporations. Most of the time I had no idea what their father or mother did for a living until I read about them in the newspaper. I think it is so funny how people analyze each other in the NY area. While growing up I didn't even notice what kind of car people drove, nor would I make any kind of assumption based on the car they were driving. We recently got transferred to New York so we HAD to relocate here and I have a feeling it is going to be a tough time getting used to the people and attitude around here. Please tell me there are some "normal" people living in these towns!!!
Larchmont is a great town and the French American School people are terrific. So you can relax - at least a little. You're certain to encounter several "normal" people in Larchmont, possibly more!
Bear in mind that this forum is the best possible enabler of those inclined to pontificate and analyze this stuff, such as myself. Just don't take it too seriously.
Definitely don't it too seriously. All of these people exist in Westchester, but so do down-to-earth friendly people. I would say there are a lot of generalizations going on here. I am a lifelong resident and wouldn't move here if I read this string...
the mom cliques is very sad....not only in wealthy but in not so wealthy towns. i think it's just the nature of people here, like the article mentioned: exclusivity happens in catholic school. people here in general are very hypercritical, super pretentious and extremely snobbish. They believe being religious make kind people but inside they never want to be nice nor kind nor generous...it's all a mask or just a social vehicle. We are living in the most diversified region in the county and people here cannot be more close-minded, let alone other part of this country.
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