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My 2 cents: Be very careful about how your child is being treated in school if you do decide to stay in Scarsdale. At the risk of backlash from this community, I can tell you about another asian friend who has a big house in Scarsdale and a daughter in 4th grade..She has NO friends..She is left out ..She has said this to me so many times herself that it is hard not to believe it when her parents say so..Parents are in very good profession and are leaning towards buying a place in Edgemont thinking Edgemont has better distribution of Asian population.
We are in Chappaqua and it is a good thing that we are renting..Because I do not like the way my child feels left out at school and will be moving by end of the year to a place more diverse..I come from Asian region where they have 50 students in one class and eventually what it boils down to is:How much attention is paid by parent on their child's education. If the parent has interest in their child, the kid would do good anywhere.. I mean a reasonably good school..And he/she does not have to be in the best school to go to Ivy league..
Again..My 2 cents..It is up to you
My 2 cents: Be very careful about how your child is being treated in school if you do decide to stay in Scarsdale. At the risk of backlash from this community, I can tell you about another asian friend who has a big house in Scarsdale and a daughter in 4th grade..She has NO friends..She is left out ..She has said this to me so many times herself that it is hard not to believe it when her parents say so..
Maybe the reason why kids find it hard to make friends is because their calendars are overscheduled with activities. Hence, no time to play, have fun etc.
My 2 cents: Be very careful about how your child is being treated in school if you do decide to stay in Scarsdale. At the risk of backlash from this community, I can tell you about another asian friend who has a big house in Scarsdale and a daughter in 4th grade..She has NO friends..She is left out ..She has said this to me so many times herself that it is hard not to believe it when her parents say so..Parents are in very good profession and are leaning towards buying a place in Edgemont thinking Edgemont has better distribution of Asian population.
We are in Chappaqua and it is a good thing that we are renting..Because I do not like the way my child feels left out at school and will be moving by end of the year to a place more diverse..I come from Asian region where they have 50 students in one class and eventually what it boils down to is:How much attention is paid by parent on their child's education. If the parent has interest in their child, the kid would do good anywhere.. I mean a reasonably good school..And he/she does not have to be in the best school to go to Ivy league..
Again..My 2 cents..It is up to you
I feel compelled to defend Chappaqua here because of course while every child's experience is different, I have not observed any prevalent attitude against other ethnicities in the schools or town. My kids have friends that are Chinese, Korean, Indian and South American. In particular one of my daughter's closest friends is Chinese (father went to hs in the US, mother came as a college student) and the family is very comfortable here with kids ranging from pre-K through high school. I have found that the schools do strive to embrace inclusiveness and actually the 4th grade is studying immigration right now and have a luncheon next week celebrating food from different cultures.
I'm not saying everyone is perfect here, and you will find mean and careless kids in any school (mostly attributable to what they are learning at home, not at school). I am truly sorry that your daughter and family has experienced this and I find that kind of treatment personally ignorant and appalling. I believe the majority in Chappaqua (and throughout Westchester actually) would agree.
Agree.. 'Majority would agree with you'..
Some would not and I am sure they would not go and tell majority when something happens that makes them feel left out
My 2 cents: Be very careful about how your child is being treated in school if you do decide to stay in Scarsdale. At the risk of backlash from this community, I can tell you about another asian friend who has a big house in Scarsdale and a daughter in 4th grade..She has NO friends..She is left out ..She has said this to me so many times herself that it is hard not to believe it when her parents say so..Parents are in very good profession and are leaning towards buying a place in Edgemont thinking Edgemont has better distribution of Asian population.
We are in Chappaqua and it is a good thing that we are renting..Because I do not like the way my child feels left out at school and will be moving by end of the year to a place more diverse..I come from Asian region where they have 50 students in one class and eventually what it boils down to is:How much attention is paid by parent on their child's education. If the parent has interest in their child, the kid would do good anywhere.. I mean a reasonably good school..And he/she does not have to be in the best school to go to Ivy league..
Again..My 2 cents..It is up to you
To add to what others have said, this has nothing to do with Scarsdale in general and probably more to do with this particular girl, her particular family, and her particular class. Sorry. You will find situations like this in every school in every town.
On my street in Scarsdale the Taiwanese kids played with the Indian kids played with the Jewish kids played with the Chinese kids. There is more to the story with your friends and their daughter I would bet.
Sigh.. SS .. Wish that was true..
I was expecting backlash ..I am not going to argue with you as this is not priority for me. My priority is to protect my kid's self esteem and get out of this area while we, as his parents have some of our self esteem and pride left.
delmommy - You weren't exactly clear about what caused this "backlash". Only said that the child happened to be Asian. I have come across many families in Scarsdale and Chappaqua from east asian, south asian and latino origin and all are happy with their neighborhoods (albeit not completely satisfied with the academic standards) and if anything they are all praises about the social environment when compared to that in asia.
Unless you live in a nice house in Scarsdale, don't consider the co-op as an option. Your child will definitely grow up being in the lower tier of income, and will feel it. It's much better being in a middle-class town than one like Scarsdale unless you're bringing in a large income. Scarsdale kids have the best of the best clothes, vacations, nannies...if you can't measure up, the pressure will be on!
I agree with swilkinson. It's not a good feeling to be among the poorer people in town, even if you are by objective measure middle class or better. I live in a different town but with a relatively high level of wealth, and even when people are not super flashy and are generally nice people (as they are in my town), what constitutes "normal" can become skewed. At the Metro North train station the last 2 days, I overheard 3 different conversations where people asked one another what they did over the holiday break. Without any exaggeration, one went to a safari in Tanzania, another went to South America, two others went to the Caribbean, and another went to Big Sur. (I went nowhere other than to visit relatives in New Jersey although in fairness I have traveled a good amount.) If this is the type of thing that will bother you, you're much better off in a more middle class town.
I agree with swilkinson. It's not a good feeling to be among the poorer people in town, even if you are by objective measure middle class or better. I live in a different town but with a relatively high level of wealth, and even when people are not super flashy and are generally nice people (as they are in my town), what constitutes "normal" can become skewed. At the Metro North train station the last 2 days, I overheard 3 different conversations where people asked one another what they did over the holiday break. Without any exaggeration, one went to a safari in Tanzania, another went to South America, two others went to the Caribbean, and another went to Big Sur. (I went nowhere other than to visit relatives in New Jersey although in fairness I have traveled a good amount.) If this is the type of thing that will bother you, you're much better off in a more middle class town.
100% agree. These things can get to you in a wealthy town; you never want to be the poorest person in a wealthy town, or the richest person in a middle class town. You wont look right and it will start to feel uncomfortable for you and your family.
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