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Croton on Hudson is probably the best fit within that description. Parts of Katonah also fit pretty well.
Croton doesn't have the most impressive commercial downtown, but if you live within the village, the homes are typically on .15-.35 acre lots, very walkable to each other, as well as to many parks and some commercial amenities. Drive 5 minutes outside of the village, it gets pretty rural.
Katonah has a very "cute" downtown area, very New England-like. It's not walkable from all parts of Katonah, which is a very large geographic area, but there are some neighborhoods near the downtown.
You can add Pleasantville to your list. Has a walkable-small town feel. Has a pretty nice commercial center, with restaurants, Arts Movie House, etc. Yes, it has all the family friendly activities as well. It's just not as "rural" as Katonah and Croton. But certainly will feel rural compared to NYC.
I'm not familiar with Hastings having much of a walkable downtown, but maybe I'm missing something. Dobbs Ferry has would have what you're looking for. But like Pleasantville, it's not particularly rural. (When I think rural, I think of some farms, huge acreage of undeveloped land, etc).
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