Relocating from San Diego. Westchester or CT? Please help! (New York: rent, schools)

[nonny]

Pelham is definitely a walking town. The town, however, is not that interesting. My preteen daughter and her friends love going to the ice cream store, and have been alone to the movie theater. They think that it's fascinating. In my opinion, it's not as interesting as other towns, honestly . The stores are sufficient for basic needs. But having a boring downtown is not necessarily negative. It means that, maybe, hopefully, the materialism will be a bit damped down here. And Pelham is going to get Fairway, which is an awesome supermarket.

There are lots of mixed religion couples here. I looked at sites like city-data for the breakdown stats on different religions, ethnicities, when I moved here. I didn't want to homogenous neighborhood or school, either, and that's why I chose Pelham.

The houses here are great for working out of. There are many many writers living here who work out of their houses. But the town is very plain compared to other towns.

[bmwguydc]

I would suggest Harrison, save for the walking to town and the station, since much of the area tends to be semi-rural, and it's about 45 minutes on the train. Greenwich is going to be very difficult for $900k for a 4/5 BR house, unless you want a smaller house that might need some renovation.

Larchmont and Mamaroneck would be good bets, and Pelham has a quick commute. New Rochelle has some nice houses in good areas for around $900k, but the problem tends to be the school district at the middle and high school levels because it's a huge school, though a motivated student should not have a problem.

You might also like Pleasantville, if you could stretch the commute a little bit, 45-50 minutes, roughly the same commute as Greenwich. Pleasantville is not a village known for exclusionary snobbery, and the school district is good. You can be in town, or just outside of town, with either Pleasantville Union Free or Byram Hills (Armonk) schools, though outside of town you will find more land and a few minute drive to the station as opposed to walking distance. $900k should get a house in Pleasantville of the size that you want. In this market, you could even come in lower, though you might need to renovate to get a multi-purpose/bonus room in an older home, but you would not be maxing out your budget just to get into the area.

[marinaz]

[quote=nonny;11771054]Pelham has all of the above. Although there are some mean mothers with attitude...


Ok, so now I'm thinking of Pelham because it's only a 30 min commute and has good schools, but am scared by "mean mothers." What does that mean? They don't want to have playdates with you? I've never met a mean mom in my 7 years of motherhood in San Diego...

[bmwguydc]

[quote=marinaz;11786789]

Originally Posted by nonny

Pelham has all of the above. Although there are some mean mothers with attitude...


Ok, so now I'm thinking of Pelham because it's only a 30 min commute and has good schools, but am scared by "mean mothers." What does that mean? They don't want to have playdates with you? I've never met a mean mom in my 7 years of motherhood in San Diego...

They're a clique -- the easiest way to explain it, and to me, such "Mean Moms" are acting as though they are in high school. They are the social arbiters of their own little world, deeming who is worthy of membership, and under what conditions/ground rules. Generally, they are not warm and open to meeting new people who are not just like their circle. Sometimes, the group forms around a particular club (tennis, golf, etc.), and other times their regime is installed through school-related functions, such as control over the volunteer league, reserving the the plum assignments for members of their inner circle. Play dates are part and parcel of the exclusionary tactic, and the MMs engage in behaviors designed to top their competition and frenemies, if not push the limits of their own circle, for their own glory. Some towns in Westchester (and other areas of the country) have a higher concentration of them than others, though Pelham is not as rife as other areas.

[kletter1mann]

[quote=bmwguydc;11787008]

Originally Posted by marinaz

They're a clique -- >>>>snip<<<<
Sometimes, the group forms around a particular club (tennis, golf, etc.), and other times their regime is installed through school-related functions, such as control over the volunteer league, reserving the the plum assignments for members of their inner circle. Play dates are part and parcel of the exclusionary tactic, and the MMs engage in behaviors designed to top their competition and frenemies . . .

Indeed. They draw their "power" from the insecure or those who define (or seek to define) themselves by participation in said clubs, associations, etc. In a given town the presence of a Garden Club, invitation-only dancing classes, private country clubs, private woemen's clubs, etc are all point to the presence of such groups.

If that's the kind of stuff you care about then you're vulnerable unless you already have some kind of inside track (e.g., already knowing somebody in town from college, friend in common). Or, you may be so distinguished or elevated that the MM's court you to increase their own prestige - in which case you likely wouldn't care about them in the first place .

Westchester is generally not a down-to-earth place.

[RUBIES77]

Originally Posted by marinaz

Hi,
We're relocating from San Diego with two young kids and don't even know where to start looking for a house. What towns would you recommend if we would like:

• Good schools
• 30-40 min commute to Grand Central
• Walk to train and ideally a downtown area
• 5 bedroom house for 900K
• Culturally diverse (don’t want my kids to grow up snooty & insular)

It seems that CT has lower taxes and is close to the beaches, but Westchester has lower house prices and a shorter commute.


Thank you so much for any thoughts/insights.

Just wondering: Are you originally from the NY area? If you are not: Get ready for culture-shock, after leaving "America' s Finest City." Good-luck!!!!!

[marinaz]

Originally Posted by RUBIES77

Just wondering: Are you originally from the NY area? If you are not: Get ready for culture-shock, after leaving "America' s Finest City." Good-luck!!!!!

No, I'm from San Diego. Everyone's nice here. Really. There are no ladies' garden clubs. There are more fun things to do.

What's the NY suburb culture like?

[marinaz]

I shouldn't presume that there are more fun things to do. What do ladies do in garden clubs? I'm picturing afternoon tea where they discuss the best way to prune roses........

[bmwguydc]

Well, yes, but it might be a question as to how they direct the gardener to prune the roses. Many take a managerial stance, though to be fair, they do plant a couple of planters with geraniums so as to be able to take credit for the entire garden.

[RUBIES77]

Originally Posted by marinaz

No, I'm from San Diego. Everyone's nice here. Really. There are no ladies' garden clubs. There are more fun things to do.

What's the NY suburb culture like?

You mean "There ar no ladies' garden clubs in Wetchester or in S/D."? I used to be a Rosarian, and even belonged to the Long Island Rose Society, but, the roses where I live get those ugly Asian bettles, so I gave them away, and stop growing them. Now I am into Dahlias.


How long are you planning to live here? It will be a great adjustment. I visit San Diego every year, and came very close to buying a house in Fallbrook, which is a little town in North San Diego County, but things did not fall in as expected. Now, it is much too late, for us.

I love the gardening culture in S/D, the Agapanthus, Camellias, etc. We start gardening here around April until November. I just put my Dahlias to sleep for the winter. I wish you the best of luck......and Welcome to the East Coast!