Transplants...Adjusting or not?

[Yankeelnthesouth]

Well thank you all for the imput. It must be where we are living. In my horrible experience living here I feel it has broke my spirit and turned me into a hermit. For those that say its what you put into it, I dont feel is true. I came in with my eyes open, huge heart and ready to build a great life. Since then because of the paths I have crossed, I'm broken down, hermit like and depressed. Sometimes things that happen are not how you handled things or your fault, its just handed to you...

[Halo_in_reverse]

Originally Posted by Yankeelnthesouth

Well thank you all for the imput. It must be where we are living. In my horrible experience living here I feel it has broke my spirit and turned me into a hermit. For those that say its what you put into it, I dont feel is true. I came in with my eyes open, huge heart and ready to build a great life. Since then because of the paths I have crossed, I'm broken down, hermit like and depressed. Sometimes things that happen are not how you handled things or your fault, its just handed to you...

Don't allow yourself to get on the "victim" kick. Making friends is not that hard. Are you going to experience rotten people in your life - yes! We all do. It's what you take away from that experience and how you handle those experiences. When someone has been mean to me or rude - yes it does happen here in Asheville - I just smile politely and say, I'm sorry you feel that way or "how lovely for you". Then I turn around and walk away and give it no further thought.

Ultimately, if you're not happy in the area, then begin making your plans to move. I've lived in quite a few states and never felt as miserable as you seem to be feeling. Is it possible that there are other factors outside of the people/area that are making you feel the way you do? Work? Relationship(s)? Family issues? .... Give yourself an honest assessment of your life, is it really the people/area or could it be that personal turmoils have clouded your judgement? I'm not trying to play arm chair psychiatrist, but its been my experience that it's never really truly about other people it's always been about me and how I'm coping with life.

I wish you peace. I'm sure you're a lovely person. Don't let a little bump in the road destroy all you've worked for. Good luck to you!

[lovesMountains]

Originally Posted by Yankeelnthesouth

Well thank you all for the imput. It must be where we are living. In my horrible experience living here I feel it has broke my spirit and turned me into a hermit. For those that say its what you put into it, I dont feel is true. I came in with my eyes open, huge heart and ready to build a great life. Since then because of the paths I have crossed, I'm broken down, hermit like and depressed. Sometimes things that happen are not how you handled things or your fault, its just handed to you...

It's not where you are living

The truth is, no matter where you go, there you are.

Deal with your depression over your loses in life and you'd be able to live anywhere happily.

As you can see from the posts here people have "adjusted" just fine and really embrace where they are living. So quit thinking it's the place and work on what's going on in your head. And I wish you the very best with that

[LiveLoveLaugh]

I think your sourroundings have ALOT to do w/ how you feel. Maybe it's just not the place for OP. It seems (imo) that he came w/ 'an open heart' and he's unhappy....my opinion...maybe it's 'not your style'...if it's not...move! Good luck and you will find that place that makes you happy...JMO!

[Yankeelnthesouth]

LiveLoveLaugh,
It's so funny how a few words can completely hit the nerve and you hit it on the spot, thank you for that. Your 110% right! Thats what I have been questioning all this time. When we came down on vacation it was nothing compared to when we actually moved. Its definetly the surroundings. Either a person is capable of adjusting or their not. In my case, hell no, lol. I'm looking into moving for sure but will do my homework this time!

[vikesfanmb]

To be honest, I have had some trouble adjusting myself . . . . and I have lived her about 9 months now. Really, the 1st month or two I thought of high tailing it back to ND. But I realized that is not the answer either.

Things are different here than they are in North Dakota, that is for sure. The schools are way different, the healthcare system, the roads (curvy roads with no shoulders) but I am willing to at the very least stick it out because I spent a great deal of money and time moving here, I do have
a relatively secure job - knock on wood - and a nice townhouse to live
in. And my daughter is happy, she attends high school every day, has made some nice friends, and has a good job at a local grocery store.

I have to agree with the OP in that I myself haven't made too many friends and it's not really for lack of trying, but a lot of folks here are so established with their own "networks" of friends and family/kids, that they just simply don't have time. I know because I work full time, I'm a single mom and a lot of my time is simply spent either working at my job or working around the house, and then of course, raising a teenage daughter.

Anyhow, just my 2 cents . . .