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Western North Carolina The Mountain Region including Asheville
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Old 03-17-2012, 08:16 AM
 
Location: Oveeder, FL
5,396 posts, read 5,364,058 times
Reputation: 1566
Default Need to vent a bit

Hi everyone

I just feel the need to vent for a minute.. If you have been in similar situations, cool.. You can explain and/or comment right along with me.. hopefully I dont get the "go back to where you came from" comments..

Anyhow, moved here from FL and I realized I was moving to the "Deep South" with the exception of Asheville and other tourist attraactions that attract people from all over.

I was recently at something work related, meeting with people from Henderson Co (mostly). These are folks that work for the state in ome capacity. I was shocked at the level of hatred for northerners, hispanics and people from other countries. I would have thought some folks would be a lot more professional than that. I dont want to elaborate on what was said, but the comments were uncalled for, and it didn't even seem to be a big deal to many, except perhaps me. I felt like I was alone in there. I felt like I was the only one who found comments about others disrespectful, uncalled for, and downright racist. It made me want to run.

I hear about how the people here are so friendly compared to where I'm from (FL), but I'm not so sure. Other than Asheville, I see a lot of racism and hate towards others. This isn't the first time I've heard comments like this, but I felt like I had to vent a bit, because in the setting we were in last week, it was completely uncalled for. This would not fly in FL, at least not in most areas of FL. There's a much more common respect and open-mindedness there.

Again, I know I moved here so it's there right as natives to speak openly and freely about other nationalities and people of different skin color. But come on, this is ridiculous. I don't want my kids hearing things like this from adults or other kids. You know these adults are saying these things in front of their kids and teaching this way of thinking. It's awful.

 
Old 03-17-2012, 09:22 AM
 
2,332 posts, read 1,646,277 times
Reputation: 3041
without knowing what was said or why, i agree it is uncomfortable being amongst people who are speaking rudely. imagine there were more than you who were displeased, if that helps any. you probably were not alone.
 
Old 03-17-2012, 09:37 AM
 
Location: Oveeder, FL
5,396 posts, read 5,364,058 times
Reputation: 1566
If I was alone, I am suprised. Everyone seemed to think it was funny but me. And of the group, I think I was one of the only ones from elsewhere, where things of this nature are considered disrespectful. I don't have a very good impression of this area, with the exception of Asheville. I've heard comments of this nature over and over again, but not in a setting like this.

PS- and I do realize that not everyone that is native feels this way, but I believe it is common with the majority.
 
Old 03-17-2012, 12:42 PM
 
Location: Weaverville
236 posts, read 192,484 times
Reputation: 458
My wife and I have been here 20 years, originally from N. Illinois. In Illinois no one cared where you were from and it was just never brought up. In Cajun country of La. where I lived and have family it was similar to Illinois. Both places Had much diversity of people, for a long period of time being either close to Chicago or the Hub of oil country.
You do see a lot of "Northern bashing" here, due partly I am sure to the attitude of the Northerner and the Local. No one is released from blame, they both share it equally. Locals want things the way they used to be and that is unreasonable, the Northerner may want things to be like they are at home and that is unreasonable.
Being in construction I do see outright racism though and that blame I lay directly on the individual. They want things the way they were in 1860. Just plain nurture there. Racist begets racist.

We love the people here, just pick your friends wisely and at work, speak your mind but in a thoughtful way. let them know what you think of their talk.
 
Old 03-17-2012, 06:57 PM
 
524 posts, read 532,869 times
Reputation: 208
Quote:
Originally Posted by ComSense View Post
Hi everyone

I just feel the need to vent for a minute.. If you have been in similar situations, cool.. You can explain and/or comment right along with me.. hopefully I dont get the "go back to where you came from" comments..

Anyhow, moved here from FL and I realized I was moving to the "Deep South" with the exception of Asheville and other tourist attraactions that attract people from all over.

I was recently at something work related, meeting with people from Henderson Co (mostly). These are folks that work for the state in ome capacity. I was shocked at the level of hatred for northerners, hispanics and people from other countries. I would have thought some folks would be a lot more professional than that. I dont want to elaborate on what was said, but the comments were uncalled for, and it didn't even seem to be a big deal to many, except perhaps me. I felt like I was alone in there. I felt like I was the only one who found comments about others disrespectful, uncalled for, and downright racist. It made me want to run.





I hear about how the people here are so friendly compared to where I'm from (FL), but I'm not so sure. Other than Asheville, I see a lot of racism and hate towards others. This isn't the first time I've heard comments like this, but I felt like I had to vent a bit, because in the setting we were in last week, it was completely uncalled for. This would not fly in FL, at least not in most areas of FL. There's a much more common respect and open-mindedness there.

Again, I know I moved here so it's there right as natives to speak openly and freely about other nationalities and people of different skin color. But come on, this is ridiculous. I don't want my kids hearing things like this from adults or other kids. You know these adults are saying these things in front of their kids and teaching this way of thinking. It's awful.
I lived in Florida a few years back and found the racism appalling. Native Floridians didn't much like the newcomers that moved there either. I didn't take that to mean the entire state or even the area was racist. Racism is everywhere and unfortunately we sometimes come in contact with these people. The question becomes how you handle it. Do you say something? Ignore it? I hope the answer to that isn't you label us all racists.
 
Old 03-17-2012, 07:07 PM
 
Location: Austin, TX
146 posts, read 136,169 times
Reputation: 151
Quote:
Originally Posted by ComSense View Post
I hear about how the people here are so friendly compared to where I'm from (FL), but I'm not so sure. Other than Asheville, I see a lot of racism and hate towards others. This isn't the first time I've heard comments like this, but I felt like I had to vent a bit, because in the setting we were in last week, it was completely uncalled for. This would not fly in FL, at least not in most areas of FL. There's a much more common respect and open-mindedness there.
Where were you in Florida? I know of many areas in northern FL where you wouldn't have to look hard to find similar opinions. Unfortunately Asheville is a big outlier in the area as far as generalized acceptance of other people and cultures goes, and it really is a shame. I think the big difference between Asheville and the surrounding areas can bring the nastiness to the surface in some people because it gives them a good, semi-nearby target for everything that they feel is wrong.

Quote:
Again, I know I moved here so it's there right as natives to speak openly and freely about other nationalities and people of different skin color. But come on, this is ridiculous. I don't want my kids hearing things like this from adults or other kids. You know these adults are saying these things in front of their kids and teaching this way of thinking. It's awful.
Yes they have a right to their opinions but you have a right to your own opinions too and just because you moved here and they did not does not make your opinion less valid or anything. You would be perfectly within reason to ask to change the subject of conversation. I often go with a bit subtle statement like "I've never really noticed a problem with X" and if they don't catch that hint then asking to talk about something else because I've been getting way too much politics from the news. Don't feel like you need to convince them to change their mind or anything, just make it clear you won't be an audience for their hatred.
 
Old 03-17-2012, 07:32 PM
NCN
 
13,979 posts, read 11,396,916 times
Reputation: 15938
If you look at the map of how the state was populated, you are among people who had ancestors coming down from Pennsylvania. They speak their mind just as any Yankee would. Some have Irish ancestors and we all know they have their clans. That area of the state was isolated mostly by transportation difficulties. They are also truthful, loving, caring and hard working. It is not a good idea for anyone to go to that area and start trying to reform anyone. They are living in one of the best areas in the country and you can't fault them for wanting to keep it that way. Just mind your own business, keep your own counsel and be polite and you should get along just fine. They are just talking and don't really mean all that they say. If there was a person sick beside the road, they would be the first to help them no matter who it is. I know because I used to live around some people like that. I was brought up by very different thinking parents. We kept it inside our own home. Tolerance is a two way street. And you will not change their minds about anything. When it comes to being social, don't invite them to your home. I used to work with some really rude people from Florida, Buffalo, Arkansas, etc. I had to deal with them while I worked, but I usually had something else planned when they decided to get together.

We recently had a nephew marry a girl from Florida. I tried every way I could to welcome her to our family. She kept saying how nice everybody else was, but I thought she was rude and obnoxious. I tolerated her until she came to my facebook wall and trashed my sons college ball team. Everybody has their social limits. I will be nice to her at family get-togethers, but we will never be friends. I treated her with respect, but she did not return in same. What I am trying to say is that if you want them to respect you and your thoughts; you need to respect them and not try and tell them how to live. Recently I heard a preacher explain it this way; not everyone has had the privilege of our Christian upbringing. We have to be patient with those different from us. But you don't have to be like them.

Last edited by NCN; 03-17-2012 at 07:52 PM..
 
Old 03-17-2012, 08:28 PM
 
286 posts, read 226,902 times
Reputation: 162
^ Such a well thought out and very TRUE post!
 
Old 03-17-2012, 09:44 PM
 
Location: Oveeder, FL
5,396 posts, read 5,364,058 times
Reputation: 1566
Yes, I agree with some of you who mentioned parts of FL being this way too. I have seen it firsthand in FL myself, I was born there. I lived in Central FL, by the way. And while I did see it once in a while in FL, it was NOTHING like here. And certainly not from folks in work/meeting-type settings where you are amongst people you dont know.

In FL, has someone slipped up at work and said the "N" word? Yes. But they knew me. Some people here come up to me and do not even know my name and I've heard remarks about Jews, Hispanics, Blacks, Northerners, Asians (etc).

This area is beautiful, and there are nice people here that I've met, but I have to say, the people I find friendly and not racist, sorry to say, are people from elsewhere. Not all, most.

I don't want to come off as bashing this place. I'm not. I'm just surprised and a little disappointed at some of the things I've witnessed. I'm embarassed for them. Asheville is different. I've been in Asheville enough to know that it isn't like that at all. But the smaller towns... a different story. I can only imagine what it's like in smaller, more rural counties (yikes!).
 
Old 03-17-2012, 09:46 PM
 
Location: Oveeder, FL
5,396 posts, read 5,364,058 times
Reputation: 1566
And yes, I also agree that many native Floridians dislike northerners who moved to FL and tried to change FL and make it more like up north.
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