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Koolaid - I think you should read my post again. You are assuming that those transplants were "a bull in a china shop" and some probably were. But, like I said, I'll bet many were not, but were simply interesting in interacting with open minds and did not find those so easy to come by. There is a strain of defensiveness in the Southeastern US that is something to behold. I haven't encountered anything quite like in other places I've lived or traveled.
Actually, many of those transplants are "a bull in a china shop". And you sound like one too.
thanks this is very helpful to think of. I have gotten a ton of useful information from this thread into varying thoughts and opinions and it seems really helpful.
I think at least in my opinion there is a difference between an honest conversation of trying to relate to a certain activity of simply saying "oh I see, I am used to doing it a different way back up north" which can be pretty innocent and just trying to relate in conversation vs. "you guys are doing it wrong, I know how it should be, this is how we do it up north, you guys don't know any better, i'll help you" which I can justifiably see why that would quickly annoy the locals being so arrogant and how it would alienate you from everyone else.
Does that make any sense?
I don't think either way would work too well. Just observe, smile, or do it your own way. Just be gracious in word or deed
"Actually, many of those transplants are "a bull in a china shop". And you sound like one too."
--- LOL! Do you see how quickly my point about defensiveness was proven? Can't make this stuff up!
"Actually, many of those transplants are "a bull in a china shop". And you sound like one too."
--- LOL! Do you see how quickly my point about defensiveness was proven? Can't make this stuff up!
LOL! See how quickly MY point about being a bull in a china shop was proven? I can't make that stuff up either. So thanks for your help!
I wasn't going to comment being a yank and all but most can tell a yank a mile away and of the ones I've met most are like a bull in a china shop. I commented about the NJ yank calling the law on folks with guns, I also posted about the few who lived in my area.
Most just move from their high taxed over regulated areas then want to bring it here with them. LOL! Most don't want change just the lower cost of living is all.
Just to throw out another area....take a look at Hiawassee, ga and Blairesville ga...you will find so much help on this forum...we moved in October to hiawassee from Charleston SC. I started out thinking one area but after a year of scouring the internet.....pounding the keys on this forum....looking at probably 40 homes in NC and GA we ultimately found the home that needed us in Hiawassee. If you want to pm me I'll share some info and sites. Ask thoughtful questions that make sense and these folks will not steer you wrong. Everyone who responded to me helped me make an informed decision and we couldn't be happier! I'm not in WNC but I'm close!
There is a strain of defensiveness in the Southeastern US that is something to behold. I haven't encountered anything quite like in other places I've lived or traveled.
And defensiveness comes from years of being faced with "offensiveness". You can't deny that Southerners are still portrayed in the media, movies, TV as "rednecks", "backwards" and/or "religious fanatics" with no "schoolin'". Read any kind of news item that takes place in a Southern state and read the comments--eventually you will come across "Well what do they expect, it's the South?" (always in some very stereotypical, negative way). Loving the South and appreciating its (more polite, genteel, friendly) culture is equated with being racist and/or "Still fighting the Civil War". Funny, the only people I hear even mention the Civil War are Northerners...
Those of us who have lived our whole lives in NC have grown up with a steady stream of people, mostly Northerners, moving here and while many assimilate to the culture, a great many indicate shock and condescension that "You mean you don't do things exactly like we do? What kind of backwoods place IS this?? I can't believe you don't even have a [insert name of Northeastern store chain here]!" This stereotype of Northerners, particularly NY/NJ, did not materialize out of thin air (and I hear it from folks in other parts of the country, too, like the Midwest and West Coast, about Northeasterners), so native Southerners have learned to grow weary and yes, defensive when yet another newcomer from those regions shows up. Hopefully, the initial encounter will be friendly on both sides and the Southerner will relax a little, but it's a conditioned reaction to often DECADES of having to hear one's own part of the country put down in subtle and not-so-subtle ways by people who mostly chose to move there in the first place.
and defensiveness comes from years of being faced with "offensiveness". You can't deny that southerners are still portrayed in the media, movies, tv as "rednecks", "backwards" and/or "religious fanatics" with no "schoolin'". Read any kind of news item that takes place in a southern state and read the comments--eventually you will come across "well what do they expect, it's the south?" (always in some very stereotypical, negative way). Loving the south and appreciating its (more polite, genteel, friendly) culture is equated with being racist and/or "still fighting the civil war". Funny, the only people i hear even mention the civil war are northerners...
Those of us who have lived our whole lives in nc have grown up with a steady stream of people, mostly northerners, moving here and while many assimilate to the culture, a great many indicate shock and condescension that "you mean you don't do things exactly like we do? What kind of backwoods place is this?? I can't believe you don't even have a [insert name of northeastern store chain here]!" this stereotype of northerners, particularly ny/nj, did not materialize out of thin air (and i hear it from folks in other parts of the country, too, like the midwest and west coast, about northeasterners), so native southerners have learned to grow weary and yes, defensive when yet another newcomer from those regions shows up. Hopefully, the initial encounter will be friendly on both sides and the southerner will relax a little, but it's a conditioned reaction to often decades of having to hear one's own part of the country put down in subtle and not-so-subtle ways by people who mostly chose to move there in the first place.
If you're considering moving to Western NC from a flatter region, as you look at houses, you should try to visualize the sun angle of mid-winter. Some places that look lovely in the middle of summer may not get ANY direct sun for a few weeks on either side of the winter solstice. Some people wouldn't mind that so much but would prompt others to seek medication of some kind, or list the place for sale to another unsuspecting Floridian the following June.
And defensiveness comes from years of being faced with "offensiveness". You can't deny that Southerners are still portrayed in the media, movies, TV as "rednecks", "backwards" and/or "religious fanatics" with no "schoolin'". Read any kind of news item that takes place in a Southern state and read the comments--eventually you will come across "Well what do they expect, it's the South?" (always in some very stereotypical, negative way). Loving the South and appreciating its (more polite, genteel, friendly) culture is equated with being racist and/or "Still fighting the Civil War". Funny, the only people I hear even mention the Civil War are Northerners...
Those of us who have lived our whole lives in NC have grown up with a steady stream of people, mostly Northerners, moving here and while many assimilate to the culture, a great many indicate shock and condescension that "You mean you don't do things exactly like we do? What kind of backwoods place IS this?? I can't believe you don't even have a [insert name of Northeastern store chain here]!" This stereotype of Northerners, particularly NY/NJ, did not materialize out of thin air (and I hear it from folks in other parts of the country, too, like the Midwest and West Coast, about Northeasterners), so native Southerners have learned to grow weary and yes, defensive when yet another newcomer from those regions shows up. Hopefully, the initial encounter will be friendly on both sides and the Southerner will relax a little, but it's a conditioned reaction to often DECADES of having to hear one's own part of the country put down in subtle and not-so-subtle ways by people who mostly chose to move there in the first place.
Lol well, I don't consider myself a northeaster. More like a great laker. I've never been to NYC or nj. In fact they are like a 7hr drive away. (thankfully)
Ironically the reasons you mentioned are what I find appealing about southern culture. I appreciate the genuineness of it. The southerners I've met are all honest and straightforward. They don't BS or play fake nice. That's respectable. I appreciate the southern friendliness and hospitality. I like holding the door open for someone or being polite to a stranger.
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