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IMO figure out what's lacking in your life (besides wanting to "go home") and go from there. Following the highlight reels of peoples lives on social media is concern number one that something in your own life is lacking (as well as asking strangers for their opinions on an internet forum).
Social media to me is the devil in sheep's clothing. It connects people but makes you believe that the grass is greener somewhere else or that your life is inferior (compared to others) when the real issue is a lack of substance in your own life to focus on. It sways you away from rational decisions and focusing on your own happiness by involving your mind with other peoples existences, making you feel like others have it better by simply being somewhere else. Basically turns you into a daydreamer ...
We have a family of five so I speak from experience, and I can tell you "home" is wherever we are together, growing up, making OUR OWN memories and being productive. Social media has no effect on it nor does wondering what life would be like somewhere else. Good luck!
Wise words indeed, Vince. Looking forward to making some new memories of my own with my family when we move up to WNC next spring. Just bought a lot in Hendersonville and sold our house here in sweaty Florida; cant wait for the upcoming chapter. I've followed your adventures from afar on this forum, along with many others; it's a great resource. Not quite ready to give up Twitter, but one never knows; maybe mountain living will have a say...?
I understand where you are coming from FernMama. I was born in Michigan and have fond memories from living there, though I would never move back because I cannot tolerate the winters. I moved to WNC almost 3 years ago from Wake County (central NC) where I had lived all of my adult life. I am now looking to move back east. The reasons are too many to list, but the leading reason is that I can't take the winters up here. Last year we had our first snow in October and last measurable snow in April. It was bitterly cold to me. The summers are too short to me and at our elevation, I cannot sit outside after dark even in the middle of summer because it's too chilly to me.
If it's just you and your daughter, I don't see why you can't explore moving back to Michigan. If you have an SO, sit down and discuss their willingness to move. Life is too short to live somewhere where you aren't happy.
Homesickness is absolutely a real thing and I am sure you must be feeling very depressed. I think counseling could be helpful because you would have a place to go to work this all out. To clarify your feelings and your goals. Sometimes we just need a little help and some guidance to figure things out. Feeling sad and stuck is a terrible feeling. It doesn’t actually mean that you are truly stuck or that you can’t figure out how to find your happy here. And it doesn’t mean you can’t figure out a plan to get where you want to be either. You just may need a little help. And thats okay. Wishing you the best of luck.
I understand where you are coming from FernMama. I was born in Michigan and have fond memories from living there, though I would never move back because I cannot tolerate the winters. I moved to WNC almost 3 years ago from Wake County (central NC) where I had lived all of my adult life. I am now looking to move back east. The reasons are too many to list, but the leading reason is that I can't take the winters up here. Last year we had our first snow in October and last measurable snow in April. It was bitterly cold to me. The summers are too short to me and at our elevation, I cannot sit outside after dark even in the middle of summer because it's too chilly to me.
If it's just you and your daughter, I don't see why you can't explore moving back to Michigan. If you have an SO, sit down and discuss their willingness to move. Life is too short to live somewhere where you aren't happy.
FYI, OP said:
"I should also say that moving is not an option right now. We have joint custody of my stepson, who is almost 13 and are not able to move far at all. Nor does my husband particularly want to move north."
IMO figure out what's lacking in your life (besides wanting to "go home") and go from there. Following the highlight reels of peoples lives on social media is concern number one that something in your own life is lacking (as well as asking strangers for their opinions on an internet forum).
Social media to me is the devil in sheep's clothing. It connects people but makes you believe that the grass is greener somewhere else or that your life is inferior (compared to others) when the real issue is a lack of substance in your own life to focus on. It sways you away from rational decisions and focusing on your own happiness by involving your mind with other peoples existences, making you feel like others have it better by simply being somewhere else. Basically turns you into a daydreamer ...
We have a family of five so I speak from experience, and I can tell you "home" is wherever we are together, growing up, making OUR OWN memories and being productive. Social media has no effect on it nor does wondering what life would be like somewhere else. Good luck!
Thanks. I think your post has been the most helpful of all. I appreciate your candid input. I do agree that something is really lacking in my life. I need to really figure that out. Getting off of Facebook because seeing everyone's happy moments in Michigan was only one of the reasons I am not on there. I do need to turn off the daydreaming and get back to reality.
Homesickness is absolutely a real thing and I am sure you must be feeling very depressed. I think counseling could be helpful because you would have a place to go to work this all out. To clarify your feelings and your goals. Sometimes we just need a little help and some guidance to figure things out. Feeling sad and stuck is a terrible feeling. It doesn’t actually mean that you are truly stuck or that you can’t figure out how to find your happy here. And it doesn’t mean you can’t figure out a plan to get where you want to be either. You just may need a little help. And thats okay. Wishing you the best of luck.
Thanks. Yes, I think counseling will definitely help me. I appreciate your encouragement.
My wife and I were born in south west florida and spent my first 42 years there and we had two young girls when we decide were we lived had changed to much and not for the better so it was time to make a change . We had vacationed here over the years and there was plenty of opportunity in my trade around here and we liked the laid back rural life style so we moved to yancey county 20 years ago . Do I or my wife miss where we were raised . Nope not in the least . Not a bit and over time most all of my friends moved away too . I would have like to have a small get away in north fl for the coastal fishing and hog hunting but no way would want to live there again but I stayed to busy for years to worry about a vacation shack so we pick a spot so where along the coast to visit once in a while . To me being home sick is far more of a head game . You have to find some thing here to keep your interest or you may continue to want to go home . .
I understand where you are coming from FernMama. I was born in Michigan and have fond memories from living there, though I would never move back because I cannot tolerate the winters. I moved to WNC almost 3 years ago from Wake County (central NC) where I had lived all of my adult life. I am now looking to move back east. The reasons are too many to list, but the leading reason is that I can't take the winters up here. Last year we had our first snow in October and last measurable snow in April. It was bitterly cold to me. The summers are too short to me and at our elevation, I cannot sit outside after dark even in the middle of summer because it's too chilly to me.
If it's just you and your daughter, I don't see why you can't explore moving back to Michigan. If you have an SO, sit down and discuss their willingness to move. Life is too short to live somewhere where you aren't happy.
This is interesting to hear your perspective. For the opposite reasons I don't care for our weather here. The summer is way too hot and I really don't care for it at all. Maybe part of it is because I can't spend more than an hour in the sun (regardless of the amount of sunscreen I put on) before I look like a boiled lobster. I don't do well in intense sun or heat. I realize that I'm in the minority, though. I know most people enjoy the warmer weather. I think one reason it feels bitterly cold here is because of the humidity. When it's in the 20's with low humidity, it actually feels a lot less cold than the 30's with high humidity.
I do have a husband and my stepson is the main reason we cannot move. We didn't want to stay in the Asheville area, but have to based on joint custody. We have the ability to be more mobile in another 5 or 6 years, but by then my daughter will be 12-13. Not an ideal time to move.
Do you see those hills, Johnny? I want to be there.
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