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I am a single woman in my late 30s and have recently been accepted into a 4-year doctorate program. I need help deciding between Asheville and San Diego. I am currently living in Boston and have ever lived anywhere but the east coast. I visited Asheville last week and enjoyed my time there. Love the mountains, the local music scene, the fabulous restaurants, and the fact that there seems to be so many people there from all over the U.S.
My major concerns are (I know this is a lot for one post so if anyone has a response to even just one or two of these questions it is greatly appreciated):
1.) Is it too isolated and I will feel "stuck". Granted, I didn't have much time to explore the towns outside of Asheville but from talking with some folks in the city, it seems like there is not much else there? What I mean is, Asheville seems to be this oasis of culture in an area that doesn't really have much going on, unless you are willing to drive over an hour. Am I missing something here?
2.) Is there anywhere to go swimming in nature? Lakes? I know there's the river but do people swim in the river? There seem to be a few lakes within a 40 minute drive or so based on a google map search I did but would love to hear some local opinions on this. Being from the east I literally crave the ocean during the warmer months so if I am going to be someplace so far from the sea I need to at least have regular/easy access to a decent lake.
3.) Are there any single men living here? There seems to be a huge counter-culture, hipster scene happening, which I dig to a certain extent, but, those that are not part of that scene seem to be either tourists, retirees, or young married couples. Is this a correct observation or am I missing something here?
4.) Are there times of the year that tourism overwhelms the city and makes it feel fake and "put on" in any way? There were certainly tourists out and about during my visit but I imagine in the summer it could get sort of unbearable and overwhelming to locals ... is this true?
5.) Lastly, and I would love to hear from other New Englander or New Yorker transplants especially on this one, does it feel like enough to you? I mean, coming from a larger metropolis with many things in close proximity, does it ever feel too small or too stifling?
In my opinion, unless you are REALLY craving nature and want to explore that "outdoorsy" part of you and/or need a change from the "big" city, I don't think Asheville is a great fit for someone at your stage in life. I wasn't married until 35, and while I can appreciate Asheville a bit more now, I don't think it would have been the best fit for me when I was single in my 30's (I was living in Atlanta during most of those years, and Boston before that). To me, Asheville is the type of place when you are "done" with city living (and all it's varied cultural offerings) and want things a bit simpler (less traffic/chaos). Also, if you are truly an outdoor person, this might be a good fit. I say might, because the longer I live here, the more I realize that while there are a lot of great outdoor offerings, the weather doesn't always cooperate, so what do you do when you can't take advantage of one of the biggest things this area has to offer? Culturally speaking, Asheville cannot hold a candle to any urban center ... there just isn't that much going on here. Yes, there are some truly amazing restaurants, especially for a city this size, but unless you are seriously wealthy, visits to those may be few and far between, as the prices (in my opinion, having lived in many large cities) are way jacked up for a city this size, probably because they do cater mostly to tourists. If you love the ocean as much as you say you do and would not have any qualms relocating to the West Coast for a bit, it seems like San Diego would be a no-brainer for you! Good luck with your decision!!
there is no contest here - San Diego
SD is my favorite city in the US - I would move there tomorrow if I could afford an equivalent house that I have in Greenville
SD should have MANY more singles your age - plus, you have relatively easy access to LA (another favorite city of mine)
my only concern is access to beaches/lakes - I greatly prefer beaches on the east coast, especially the Gulf (SW FL is amazing) - ocean temps in SD are still chilly (70 degrees) even in mid-summer - no sure re lakes in So Cal
there is no contest here - San Diego
SD is my favorite city in the US - I would move there tomorrow if I could afford an equivalent house that I have in Greenville
SD should have MANY more singles your age - plus, you have relatively easy access to LA (another favorite city of mine)
my only concern is access to beaches/lakes - I greatly prefer beaches on the east coast, especially the Gulf (SW FL is amazing) - ocean temps in SD are still chilly (70 degrees) even in mid-summer - no sure re lakes in So Cal
My problem with SD and southern CA is it's too congested and too much traffic, but maybe that's ok for a relatively young, single person.
If it was me I'd take Asheville every time, but I agree with the others you sound like you really like big city life. Not my thing at all. Don't like how dry it is in CA either and all the fires, but that might be a non-issue for you.
It should not matter where you came from for a outlook of the Asheville area but after spending a week here your still looking for input ! Let me ask you this , if your ready to live in larger city 1.5 million people where almost 50 % speak another language and getting out to a country side to down load will be more of a major event then go ahead and move to comifornia to finish your education . Men can be found any where .
In my opinion, unless you are REALLY craving nature and want to explore that "outdoorsy" part of you and/or need a change from the "big" city, I don't think Asheville is a great fit for someone at your stage in life. I wasn't married until 35, and while I can appreciate Asheville a bit more now, I don't think it would have been the best fit for me when I was single in my 30's (I was living in Atlanta during most of those years, and Boston before that). To me, Asheville is the type of place when you are "done" with city living (and all it's varied cultural offerings) and want things a bit simpler (less traffic/chaos). Also, if you are truly an outdoor person, this might be a good fit. I say might, because the longer I live here, the more I realize that while there are a lot of great outdoor offerings, the weather doesn't always cooperate, so what do you do when you can't take advantage of one of the biggest things this area has to offer? Culturally speaking, Asheville cannot hold a candle to any urban center ... there just isn't that much going on here. Yes, there are some truly amazing restaurants, especially for a city this size, but unless you are seriously wealthy, visits to those may be few and far between, as the prices (in my opinion, having lived in many large cities) are way jacked up for a city this size, probably because they do cater mostly to tourists. If you love the ocean as much as you say you do and would not have any qualms relocating to the West Coast for a bit, it seems like San Diego would be a no-brainer for you! Good luck with your decision!!
There are pros and cons. You are age appropriate for Asheville. All those who say it’s all rested people are obviously quite young. I am a retired person and somewhat conservative. I am a fish out of water, here. It is extremely left wing. Most people have full sleeves of tattoos and numerous piercings. We are literally the east coast Portland, OR. I will be relocating in the near future but for now have personal reasons for staying. Now... as far as meeting men. It is difficult. Most come here already “coupled up”. I can’t think of anyone of my acquaintances who have met anyone here. Most go to an online site to meet someone to date.
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It Depends...
