Southern Mentality (Charlotte, Asheville, Henderson: home, to buy, universities)

[Asheville Native]

Originally Posted by southernnaturelover

Are you serious? I don't think that describes most people in the south at all. I'm nice enough to at least move my car out of peoples way if I'm going to go inside and browse. What if someone has a baby in the car, are you going to make them sit there in 100 degree heat while you pop your hood?

In a town with only 1 gas pump, no one is in a hurry. or........ they could pull up to a different pump

[MeridithJill]

I love to hear everyone's remarks. In my heart I know that there are good people and bad people everywhere you go. I should know with the amount of travel and moving I've done. And yes my dad tends to be prejudice sometimes but it's mostly in an Archie Bunker kind of way. O.K. so Archie Bunker was a jerk of a character...I won't belabor the issue.
I think what it comes down to is that when people are asking this "southern mentality" question they are asking if the old stereotype of the past regarding the south is true. They know its different there but they want to know as much as possible before doing a thing like packing up your family and moving across country...so I think people are just curious to see if they will be able to fit in.
Thanks for the reassuring responses!

[NC_Paddler]

Originally Posted by MeridithJill

I think what it comes down to is that when people are asking this "southern mentality" question they are asking if the old stereotype of the past regarding the south is true. They know its different there but they want to know as much as possible before doing a thing like packing up your family and moving across country...so I think people are just curious to see if they will be able to fit in.
Thanks for the reassuring responses!

The Old South traditions are more firmly entrenched in the smaller towns in North Carolina, particularly in the more remote parts of western NC. Asheville is definitely the exception to the rule, and much more culturally diverse in the sense that you have a larger percentage of people that are from other places. In addition, Asheville is much more culturally and politically progressive than other parts of western NC; you should erase any Andy Griffith stereotypes you hold of Asheville, if they exist. Asheville has a thriving art and music scene, and is known for attracting "alternative lifestyle" folks, as well as wealthy retirees from the North.

That being said, I think there is definitely some tension between the Old South and what they view as the "outsiders".

But like anywhere else, when different cultures collide, there typically ends up being some kind of amalgamation of both cultures, with both sides adapting to one another's lifestyles, to a certain extent. That's the way it has to be, because Northerners and those seeking "alternative lifestyles" aren't going to stop moving there, and so any attempt to resist that is futile. And likewise, it is benefiical for those moving there to be flexible in adapting to some of the cultural traditions that exist in the South.

If you look at the Raleigh/Durham area for example, Northerners have been moving there in droves for several decades, and the cultural landscape has changed dramatically as a result. You can even get fairly authentic Italian food in Raleigh these days.

But both Northerners and locals have adapted to another, with both groups bending a bit to form a unique culture. After all, that's what we humans do -- adapt to changing circumstances in order to survive. And those who refuse to accept the reality of changing times and trends and adapt to the inevitable will be left behind to complain to one another about the "good old days".

The rest of us will make the best of the situation by examining our existing cultural values, while opening ourselves up to the values of other cultures, and embracing the ones from both that ring true to us.

[NCgirl]

Originally Posted by MeridithJill

I love to hear everyone's remarks. In my heart I know that there are good people and bad people everywhere you go. I should know with the amount of travel and moving I've done. And yes my dad tends to be prejudice sometimes but it's mostly in an Archie Bunker kind of way. O.K. so Archie Bunker was a jerk of a character...I won't belabor the issue.
I think what it comes down to is that when people are asking this "southern mentality" question they are asking if the old stereotype of the past regarding the south is true. They know its different there but they want to know as much as possible before doing a thing like packing up your family and moving across country...so I think people are just curious to see if they will be able to fit in.
Thanks for the reassuring responses!

I think it's great that you are asking before you move.

Life is all about one's attitude and perspective. I've never been to AZ but I would imagine that some things are different there. Try to have an open mind about the "southern mentality". Don't view it as negative, just different. That reminds me of a great quote. "A Pessimist sees a challenge in every opportunity. An Optimist sees an opportunity in every challenge."



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[LiveLoveLaugh]

Originally Posted by southernnaturelover

Are you serious? I don't think that describes most people in the south at all. I'm nice enough to at least move my car out of peoples way if I'm going to go inside and browse. What if someone has a baby in the car, are you going to make them sit there in 100 degree heat while you pop your hood?

I agree Southernnaturelover. I always allow myself plenty of time to get anywhere I am going but I am considerate of other people. I get my gas and move my car if I am going inside.

[anifani821]

I am still trying to decide what stereotypical reference the OP is making to "the Southern mentality."

I don't know what the means. I know there are many myths about Southerners, as well as misconceptions and downright lies.

So what does that mean - "southern mentality?" And compare it to . . . say . . . "the NY mentality" or "the midwest mentality" or the "Texas mentality." Cause I gotta tell ya . . . I am not connecting the dots here.

Archie Bunker as a character was a prejudiced, biased, small minded bigot. Yet, you say your father, an Archie Bunker-like character, doesn't get along w/ Southerners b/c of the "southern mentality." But the mean-spirited and incorrect stereotype about Southerners is that we all belong to the KKK, fly Rebel Flags and shoot Yankees on sight.

Okay. Maybe we do shoot Yankees on sight.

But the rest of that . . . seems to me that Archie Bunker would have gotten along great w/ that Mythical Southern Bigot that I am supposing you are referring to? So . . . I don't get it.

What is this "Southern mentality" that has your father so upset about NC?

[MeridithJill]

In answer to anifani821 I think i explained myself pretty well in my follow up post in regard to "southern mentality." As I used it it I meant the common attitude, way of life, mindset of the area. Every area has one as you pointed out. I have lived in New York, New Hampshire, Conn., Jersey and Arizona. Every individual person is different but there are some generalities that can be observed about each place I've been.
It was a mistake to compare my father to Archie Bunker and I am not going to go on and on in detail explaining the complexities of my dad's "tude", because in reality I'm just trying to get info on the area...a feel for it...if you know what I mean.
We have visited once and will do so prob. quite a few times more to see if we like it.
I just like to inquire in these forums because you guys that live there whether native or transplant always seem faithful to answer questions.

[donsabi]

I am sure the OP meant no insult, but sometimes there is no right way to ask a question without offending someone. From my own experience in western nc, Hickory, Catawba co, I found the locals there to be very resistive of outsiders. I first thought it was because I am from the north but later learned that if I had of been from a town 25 miles away I would have been treated the same. It was bad enough to force me to move after living there for two years. In the time I was there I found the people in Bethelhem, just north of Hickory, to be just the opposite. A little further north is Taylorsville where I found some of the nicest people I had ever run into. I would be living there today if it were not for a shoddy home builder.

I have friend who lived in Lenoir and hated it. It took them two year to sell their home and my friend's wife was so dissatisfied with Lenoir she said she would never travel south of the Mason Dixon Line again.

I met a woman who was from Valley Forge PA and she loved Hickory. She was very involved with her church and said she would never go back to VF.

To sum it up, western NC is spotty as to attitude. One area will reject all outsiders and another will welcome them. It is hard to know where without living in NC and learning the hard way. If I had it to do over, I would have rented for a year to get the feel of things. Regardless I have paid my dues and I know where to go in that area. I strongly recommend you take at look at Taylorsville, a small town with little to offer but nice people. They do have a great coffee shop with wifi and entertainment. Bethlehem is another good place.
Stay away from Hickory and Lenoir.

[organick]

I agree alot with Nc paddler ecept for the part of asheville being cultural diverse.. Yes it is accepting of alternative lifestyles and there may be cultural stuff like music and art. However culturally diverse it isnt. There are no large minority populations or foreign populations, it embrasses different people, but they are still mostly white american people..

As for the "mentality" yes there is much more racism, in many places there is still backwoods attitudes (nothing wrong with that), and EVERYONE goes to church and talks about it. That being said I think anyone who has spent there life somewhere is going to be resistant to a huge poulation surge. You have no chance if you come with the attitude of this is how things were back in so and so. You have to accept what life is like here, dont ask for a walmart in hotsprings. There is also a reality that some people here will just never accept you, no matter what.

As Anifani said....sure we shoot yankees on sight (perhaps this is the mentality you are referring to), this is alive and well. No where else in the country will you hear the civil war refered to as the war of northern aggression.

All that being said not that different from the NY state of mind of step on anyone in your way and f**k em.
There are also things in the south that happen that wouldn't happen many other places. I will admit that the mentality exists but so does the southern hospitality. Good with bad just like anywhere.

[anifani821]

Originally Posted by donsabi

I am sure the OP meant no insult, but sometimes there is no right way to ask a question without offending someone. From my own experience in western nc, Hickory, Catawba co, I found the locals there to be very resistive of outsiders. I first thought it was because I am from the north but later learned that if I had of been from a town 25 miles away I would have been treated the same. It was bad enough to force me to move after living there for two years. In the time I was there I found the people in Bethelhem, just north of Hickory, to be just the opposite. A little further north is Taylorsville where I found some of the nicest people I had ever run into. I would be living there today if it were not for a shoddy home builder.

I have friend who lived in Lenoir and hated it. It took them two year to sell their home and my friend's wife was so dissatisfied with Lenoir she said she would never travel south of the Mason Dixon Line again.

I met a woman who was from Valley Forge PA and she loved Hickory. She was very involved with her church and said she would never go back to VF.

To sum it up, western NC is spotty as to attitude. One area will reject all outsiders and another will welcome them. It is hard to know where without living in NC and learning the hard way. If I had it to do over, I would have rented for a year to get the feel of things. Regardless I have paid my dues and I know where to go in that area. I strongly recommend you take at look at Taylorsville, a small town with little to offer but nice people. They do have a great coffee shop with wifi and entertainment. Bethlehem is another good place.
Stay away from Hickory and Lenoir.

Interesting that you had this experience w/ Hickory as I have heard the exact opposite - that Taylorsville, being old time land owners and lots of folks related to one another - are very stand offish w/ outsiders - but that Hickory, wh/ has a very large transplant base - was very friendly.

Well, I am being disingenuous. I haven't just heard this. I have lived in both Hickory and Taylorsville, so I actually have firsthand experience. I know how the locals talk/feel about the newcomers in both places. Being a native and related to half the natives in western NC, I have never been treated badly anywhere I have lived cause I "fit in" (well . . . will have to make an exception to that - there was a spot outside of Asheville that I swear to you - I felt I had entered the Seventh Circle of Hell, but maybe things have changed there now, as I occasionally hear some of you wax poetic about that particular hateful little burg, but I digress).

However, things have changed a lot over the last 20 years . . . but I still find it hard to believe anyone would be "frozen" out of social groups in Hickory. At least 30% of that town are people who have moved there from somewhere else. Granted, they may have moved there 15 years ago, but still . . . Hickory is not saturated w/ natives.

And as far as being offended - not hardly! Just wanting to understand exactly what the OP was inferring about "Southern mentality."