Southern Mentality (Asheville, Hickory, Lenoir: homes, job transfer, neighborhood)

[NCN]

Originally Posted by MeridithJill

So, maybe this topic gets beaten to death sometimes but bear with me.

I've grew up in New England and have now lived in AZ for 8 years. We are planning on moving in the next couple/few years.

My parents have moved to Charlotte. My dad doesn't like the "mentality" there. He said its very different than AZ. He is pretty ambitious and can be overbearing. I think he believes he has run into a lot of ignorant people and he says its slower placed. The way he talks about it..a lot of the people there are kind of legalistic and just not too smart. I know that sounds terrible but that is how it sounds coming out of his mouth.

We were considering moving to Western N.C. as we love the mountains and Charlotte is just too big for us. Plus i don't want to be too close to my parents if you know what I mean.

We are looking for a place to raise our baby and stay (if thats God's will). Is the culture really all that different? If you think we would have "culture shock" what do you mean by that besides a slower pace of life? My dads comments really kind of scare me and if he decides to move back west I won't be able to follow so I'd like to be in a place that I love.

maybe some advice from a transplant to N.C. or S.C. from the west would help.

thank you

You spoke very frankly and I will too. Your Dad sounds like an ignorant jerk. If you are smarter and nicer, you won't have a problem. Your statement of (If that's God's will) is my best indication that you would love the North Carolina Mountains. There are many wonderful churches in that area. On scholastic tests the Western part of the state always scores higher than the Eastern part.

I am a native of Wilkes County and would have thought the Charlotte schools would be ahead of most areas. Imagine my shock when a friend moved with their children from Charlotte to the elementary school I had gone to and had to get tutors in order to get their children caught up with the children in their new school at Millers Creek Elementary.

They don't care to be around complainers so you might want to keep your negative thoughts to yourself and never talk about anyone because you will probably be talking to that persons relatives and "blood is thicker than water."

Bottom line: The Western North Carolina people are the nicest people in the world and if you are nice they will be too.

Most of the people who run into problems moving into the area are the people who take this niceness as ignorance. They will be nice to a fault, but if you try to take advantage of that niceness, it will take about 6 months for nobody to be speaking to you. They are not ignorant and they have their limits of what they will put up with. They will not tell you that you are wrong and they will not argue with you. They just ignore rude people.

[NC_Paddler]

Originally Posted by organick

I agree alot with Nc paddler ecept for the part of asheville being cultural diverse.. Yes it is accepting of alternative lifestyles and there may be cultural stuff like music and art. However culturally diverse it isnt. There are no large minority populations or foreign populations, it embrasses different people, but they are still mostly white american people.

Right, that's why I said: "Asheville is definitely the exception to the rule, and much more culturally diverse in the sense that you have a larger percentage of people that are from other places."

I didn't say anything about Asheville being racially diverse.

All that being said not that different from the NY state of mind of step on anyone in your way and f**k em.

LOL, have you ever been to NY state? This just goes to show you that ridiculous stereotypes exist on both sides of the mason-dixon line. Most people who say such things are under the erroneous assumption that New York City = New York State, which of course is absurd . . . they are worlds apart. In fact, NY city and NY state are about as different from each other as North and South.

I've been to NY state many, many times, and I assure you no such attitude exists.

[NC_Paddler]

Originally Posted by SunnyKayak

this is a good thread for you

http://www.city-data.com/forum/north...r-nc-v-up.html

Re: life being slower down south, I remember reading a thread in which the poster was complaining about the "outsider" driving too slow.

http://www.city-data.com/forum/weste...n-we-talk.html

[anifani821]

Originally Posted by NC_Paddler

Re: life being slower down south, I remember reading a thread in which the poster was complaining about the "outsider" driving too slow.

http://www.city-data.com/forum/weste...n-we-talk.html

The problems with "outsiders" driving too slow is when they are riding their brakes in the mountains, causing the rest of us to BURN OUT our brakes, too.

Most of the time, "outsiders" call Southerners "slow" as coded language for "dumb, uneducated, stupid" etc.

[NC_Paddler]

Originally Posted by anifani821

The problems with "outsiders" driving too slow is when they are riding their brakes in the mountains, causing the rest of us to BURN OUT our brakes, too.

One can't both complain that "outsiders" (i.e. Yankees) are too fast and too slow.

Well . . . one can complain about anything I suppose.

[chickenista]

My thoughts on why things are slower in the South:

based on historical reasoning and just habits passed down through the ages....

The South is a more temperate climate allowing for a nice long slow growing season. Back in the day the folks could afford to take things easy. No rush to plant, no rush to harvest.
In the North with the shorter season folks got used to a certain amount of time constraint and a sense of urgency. Must rush and plant now that spring is here and the growing season is so short and the bad weather comes on so fast you must rush to harvest.

And in the South the weather is milder in the winter allowing for a slower pace. (And if you move too fast in August you will pass out from heat exhaustion. Better to take it nice and easy.)

In the North if you are outside, you had better be moving quick with your face down and out of the cold. Any passing conversation had better be said as short and sweet as possible in passing.

And the Northern farmers do not have quite the same fast and clipped speech as the city dwellers. Perhaps this is because of porch sitting. In the country, it takes awhile to get to someone's house. And once there, you set a spell to make the trip worth the travel time. In the city there is not the need to linger and visit as you will see them again tomorrow.

I have no idea if any of this is credible and it may have a great deal to do with nationalities of origin..
the South being greatly populated with the Scots and their deeply tribal traditions..
but, it is what I tell myself.

[Catamount79]

Originally Posted by Central Illinois 1

In many ways, I love the parts of the south that I have been to. However, the whole rebel vs. yankee thing that I have heard alot of there (esp. in Mississippi) gets old quickly. I don't really give a damn if someone was born and raised in the South and the Civil War was fought 150 years ago. Alot of us are proud of our heritage and where we were raised. But some people get really carried away with the whole Southern rebel thing and in referring to anyone who has lived north of Memphis as a "yankee". That's the mentality that sucks.

I think what your missing is that people from the south are tired of people moving here in droves and trying to change the landscape and culture of the area.

How would you like if it you had been living in one place your entire life and a large group from another part of the country moved to your area and tried to change the way of life?

Change is not always good.

[anifani821]

Originally Posted by Central Illinois 1

In many ways, I love the parts of the south that I have been to. However, the whole rebel vs. yankee thing that I have heard alot of there (esp. in Mississippi) gets old quickly. I don't really give a damn if someone was born and raised in the South and the Civil War was fought 150 years ago. Alot of us are proud of our heritage and where we were raised. But some people get really carried away with the whole Southern rebel thing and in referring to anyone who has lived north of Memphis as a "yankee". That's the mentality that sucks.

**Edited to add: This is not directed specifically at you, Central Ill.**

See . . . this is what astounds me. My Yankee SIL even had the nerve to tell me (when I was living in the Midwest) that she was sick of my Southern accent - and it was time I "dropped all that Southern SH$T."

Like I would even WANT to change my very mild and pleasing Southern accent.

My family has been here since the early 1700s. So being a Southerner doesn't have CRAP to do with the Civil War. The natives here have roots that go back waaaaaaay b/f that War!!! People from outside the South have no clue what it means to be a Southerner. It has NOT A DAMN THING to do with flying a rebel battle flag!

Southerners ARE different. We LIKE getting to know the people around us b/c our culture is one of support to your neighbors. In an agrarian society, just as with pioneers who moved west and settled on deserted prairie land, people MUST depend on one another. You get along w/ people around you EVEN IF YOU DO NOT PARTICULARLY LIKE THEM.

You exchange pleasantries, wave at each other, take food when they are sick, etc. in an attempt to keep things CIVIL, b/c people have always depended on their neighbors "when times are tough."

Then you mix in people from other areas of the USA, who are litigious, in your face, quick to "make it known what their RIGHTS are," quick to complain if people don't accommodate them . . . and Southerners are up in arms - b/c the CIVIL CODE has been broken by people who don't seem to get that being demanding, argumentative, aggressive, condescending, etc. is DISRUPTIVE to the community's civility and peace.

That is what the South is about and that is why Southerners can only SIGH when someone moves into an area and starts with this whole ME ME ME thing that is common and typical with transplants. Let's all fix the potholes b/c the new guy is in a froth over how bad the road is to his house. Well, Sir, the reason we don't have high taxes here (like you did in Long Island) is b/c we all have learned that the county will get to those potholes WHEN THEY CAN - and your raising hell on a daily basis, writing letters, and stirring up a general FUROR is only going to make you look like a horse's arse. You say you came here for "Southern hospitality" and the "lower taxes," and then you complain about the schools, those "hillbillies down in the hollow," the roads, the mail delivery, WHATEVER.

I just gotta know . . . did you think the natives had not noticed those potholes? Did you think we were all so stupid we didn't realize our kids are going to schools that are located in buildings that need repair? Or in trailers when students are overflowing? Did you think that you had to save us all from our INHERENT SOUTHERN IGNORANCE by making an issue out of it?

This is why Southerners put bumper stickers on their cars that say "Let me give you a map to I-95 North."

Pretty ironic . . . you came here to get away from high taxes and then you clamor for "change" that is going to GUARANTEE that all our taxes go up! We have been dealing with the way things are for years . . . progress comes, but it comes slowly b/c the revenue comes slowly. And that is fine with us!

So before you jump to stereotypes to explain why you got a chilly reception when you moved down South and no one was thrilled to see you . . . try checking the attitude at the Mason-Dixon line. If you didn't grow up here, you don't have a CLUE. The people who move here and end up LOVING IT came with an open mind and heart and wanted to FIT IN, not condescend, criticize and make assumptions - and for sure - OBJECTIFY and STEREOTYPE.

[Mtnman]

Ani,
That was a great post. Nuff said.
MM

[lorriem]

Some posts are mentioning Hickory as a WNC city I was told it was not when my post was moved? Is it or isn't it?