unhappy in wisconsin (Madison, Portage, Waunakee: apartment, renting, get credit)

[ekg56]

Kate, you always have such great advice. Your kids do seem so happy here. You prepared them well and all of you are so friendly that I can see why you have made friends so quickly here!

[susancruzs]

Kate, you are so upbeat and so positive! Let me tell you when I have a low moment (and they have been far and few between) since my move to Wisconsin, I read some of the positive posts, particularly yours!

I read negative ones, too just to remind myself not to be closed minded and to always take the lemons and make lemonade.

[KateDaum]

Thanks! We love it here and find that many things said on this board don't ring true for us. I think attitude has a lot to do with it.
Susancruzs you are right, close minded people would have a hard time adapting anywhere.
If someone complains to my husband about where they are living, he tells them in 2 weeks time he wants to see 3-4 ticket stubs of places they went. He always tells them to check out church dinners, school plays etc. If they don't get out then he tells them quit whining, it is up to them to explore what the area has to offer!

[tomcat6]

To start off, thank you for all the replies. Kate, you misread the post. The child was happy in NY. He was unhappy about moving from there to Massachusetts. The others were fine though. Yes, we do pay for our son to fly back each month, because he wants to continue his relationship with his girlfriend. He is old enough now to drop out of school if we wants, which is what he said he will do if we don't let him see his girlfriend. Now I know we are the parents and should have control, but we cannot force him to go to school. We also know how hard it is to have a long distance relationship as my husband lived in Wisconsin for 9 months and we continued on in Massachusetts. Many of you have said they should be more open and willing to try new things, but they just dislike the area. Its a combination of missing home and not liking the new area. They don't like the rural setting, the small towns, farms,ect. They much prefer the east coast area with the cities, ocean, and definatley the snowboarding. Two of my children love snowboarding and there are only very small places around here. My daughter does very well in school and was in 3 honors classes in her old school. Unfortunatley, there are no honors courses in the current school. Her spanish class is also way below her level. She was taking precalc and the class she was put in used calculators alot, which she had never done. The teacher was not very helpful and went too fast. The counsler suggested she retake Algebra 2, so now she is stuck in that class and very bored. She feels unchallenged by her work and is disappointed in the educational system. Also, she was in orchestra in her other school and played viola. Now, the new school doe not have orchestra, only band. To answer the question, we have been here 5 months, but the children are just the same. They go to school reluctanty, come home and do homework, watch tv, excersise, ect... My daughter has been out with people from school twice the whole time we've been here, but she didn't enjoy it. My son has been out once. They just really aren't settling here. However, my daughter has applied for two jobs and for volunteering at an animal shelter. She wants to have a good college resume so she can return to the east when she graduates. My son is not really trying in school. He focuses on his artwork. He does graphic designing and is very good at it, but still, he isn't doing very well in school. Looking forward to reading more replies.

[susancruzs]

Tonight I went to the NOAA weather spotter talk in Manitowoc. I went by myself and it was great. The fellow that gave the talk was a very good public speaker. He works at the office in Green Bay said they are having their first open house this fall. I think that would be interesting, too.

I've always been a weather hound, which is why I don't let winter or grey days get on my nerves. I look at all types of weather as a miracle of nature and wonderful. I love a good storm! They hold these talks all over the state, the schedule is on their website, I think everyone should attend!

[Drover]

You still haven't told us where in Wisconsin you are.

[JoshB]

Tomcat, By telling us where in Wisconsin you are, maybe we can provoke some ideas.

[BacktoNE]

The reality is that each of us is programmed with a particular mind set, personality traits that allow us to be happy in some situations and not in others no matter how willing we are to try.

It sounds like Tomcats family is like my husband and I, we are northeasterners through and through. I knew within weeks of landing in Appleton that it was a mistake but I have stuck it out for almost 2 years now, continually hoping it would get better. It hasn't. We miss Maine specifically and the northeast in general. It's our home. We are child-free and able to move about as we wish so we plan to return to Maine, probably by the end of this year.

Tomcat, do you have any immediate family members back east who could have your kids live with them until you & your husband can make arrangements to move back? It sounds like you landed in a town with a poor school system (no AP Classes???) and that is only going to hurt your kids as they move towards college. I wish you luck with whatever decisions you ultimately make.

WI isn't for everyone and that is okay, just like it's okay that the northeast isn't a good fit for everyone, or the south, etc.

[KateDaum]

Wisconsin does offer school choice. You can look at alternatives for your children.
Sorry I misread where you son liked and didn't like.
Even though we didn't plan to move here until we retired we are lucky to be in an excellent school system. Wisconsin is known for their educational programs. The high school ACT score is #1 or #2. The schools here are way ahead of what my kids had in New Hampshire. Our school district didn't even offer kindergarten!
Where are you located? I can let you know what schools offer AP programs. My husband has all that in his relocation packages. Our school offers math classes for high schoolers at the local college and they get college credit and plus it is free.

[KateDaum]

My kids loved New York too and were unhappy moving to New Hampshire. New York is a great place to live. We were close to Utica.
It was actually my kids who pushed us to move out of NH and to come here to WI. When we summered here they were jealous of the school activities and classes that they had here compared to NH. Not having AP classes won't hurt your kids with college. My kids also didn't have AP classes in NH. My daughter was excepted at every college she applied to.