unhappy in wisconsin (Niagara: city hall, high school, taxes)

[KateDaum]

Animal shelters and hospitals are usually always looking for help. Also if you have any festivals, fairs etc. they are always looking for help. Our local United Way always has a list of volunteer positions.
I like parts of New York. When we looked at moving there, we ruled out Buffalo and anything to close to NYC. That is how we ended up near Utica. A friend of ours just moved from Scarsdale to Rochester. They didn't like Scarsdale because it was so expensive and are really happy in Rochester.

[mikki]

Just some quick insight into moving as a teen. I went to 3 high schools between Long Island, Cleveland,OH and Mequon, WI in the late 70's and early 80's. It was very difficult and being shy did not help. My older brotehr, who made the last move just prior to his senior year, thrived however. He was a much less intense kid which helped him immensely. I guess my point is that a child's personality can greatly affect how they react to transitions. My husband, son, and I recently relocated to NV and having those experiences as a child helped me with this transition. Throughout all of our moves, my parents stability, and most of all love, helped all of us. As a family we became much closer as a result. My brother and I became good friends (which we definitely were NOT before!). In fact, he went on to marry my best friend at the time and they have been married for almost 18 years!

[Tunky]

I'm sorry it's not working for you right now tomcat. We had to leave WI this year and move to Memphis (it's horrible), so I understand how you are feeling. We have lived in MI, WI, AL, CA, TN and Germany. You've moved a lot too so you're quite seasoned with all the dynamics.

I guess I'm with the others in wanting to know if you're in Northeastern WI, near Madison or way up in the Northwoods because one area of WI can be polar opposites of the other. It would be like comparing Detroit to Escanaba, MI.

What I will say though is 3 of our 4 children graduated from high school near Green Bay. They had wonderful experiences with what the schools had to offer. Especially in the arts with theatre, orchestra, and band. If you are in a rural area that does not offer those things, consider the open enrollment option to transfer them. A school with an active arts department makes all the difference as those kids are usually friendly and much less exclusionary.

And as was mentioned before...middle school/high school can be full of social injustices and drama. It's too bad. Like I said, my kids grew up near Green Bay but were not in the Green Bay schools, they went to a high school with about 200 kids/class.

I miss WI... well, maybe not WI as much as the Midwest. And, FWIW, my friends from Maine would visit us periodically and commented at length about the friendly people in our area.

It's hard to give advice not knowing where you are at all. I mean, if you are up in Elcho or something like that, you don't have a lot of options. LOL

[KateDaum]

I miss WI... well, maybe not WI as much as the Midwest. And, FWIW, my friends from Maine would visit us periodically and commented at length about the friendly people in our area.

We have noticed that too. The people that my husband are working with from the northeast can't get over how much friendlier the people are in the midwest.

Our kids are also use to moving around. They are great about it and really like the adventure of seeing new places and experiencing new things. We know how lucky we are that we can adapt so easily to new things. I am thankful that we got to experience living all over. If we would have stayed in one place I think we would have been very narrow minded. We are lucky to live in such a diverse country.

[tomcat6]

Originally Posted by mikki

Throughout all of our moves, my parents stability, and most of all love, helped all of us. As a family we became much closer as a result.

That is great. Unfortunatley, the move has had the opposite effect on us. Our second oldest son already had depression and didn't go to school. Since the move, my other two children have had no social interaction besides the school they hate and they are always mad at us. My husband and I are not as close. The children resent being forced to live here and are angry a lot of the time. Despite my husband's efforts to pull the family together, it is drifting apart.

[Drover]

To be honest, it doesn't sound like there's much that a handful of anonymous forum participants can do for you.

[tomcat6]

Well I was just looking for some suggestions and support.

[Drover]

Well we keep telling you that it would help to at least have some idea where you live if you want suggestions, but you have a weird paranoia about even telling us what county you live in. So if you really want suggestions, you're going to have to help a little more. As for support... I'll re-emphasize that I don't think the support you will derive from this forum will be nearly adequate. It sounds like your family is in substantial trouble. You should seriously consider seeking professional help for your family.

[schools]

Sounds like you & your family need to find a good counselor, not try to get advice from the forum especially if no one knows if you live up north, se wisc., madison, etc.

[MediaDoggie]

tomcat6, I can truly relate to what your saying. Your posts even started to bring tears to my eyes. Others may not understand and think if your family is falling apart it's you not the location. I grew up in Wi and started to hate it by the time I was 10. I moved out at 18 and then truly proved to myself that other states have more to offer. I had to move back to Wi and brought my wife there and lived in a smaller town. We had a hard time understanding the ignorance and attitudes. The city council was against everything and even wanted to find a way to pass an ordinance that would allow the postmaster to report suspicious mail coming to residents, like adult magazines. The art museum tried hard but would run into controversy over any new display and classic paintings were considered too racy because part of a breast would be shown. They complained if Indians were featured because it should only be about Europeans.. you get the picture.
Someone running for mayor was considered an 'outsider' because he was not born in that city, but he did reside there for 18 years and still his family was shunned.
I grew up in an area where everyone kept their curtains shut all day, no one was ever outside. I tried to find outdoor activities but was usually alone in riding my bike around. People all seemed to know whats going on by peeking out their windows. They would report who did not go to church on Sunday, if lights were on past midnight etc.
I have been living in Minnesota with my family for 28 years and very happy. My adult children have not moved away and they have stories to tell about visits to Dad's home state of Wi. They just can't believe how most of the state is and how people stare when they don't know who you are.