I'm moving to Wisconsin--eventually! (Milwaukee, Appleton: sex offenders, crime rates, house)

[FrontPorchSwing]

Hi everyone!

I know it's a bit early to be saying "Hi" but we are moving to Wisconsin next summer! I know next to nothing about the state since I never considered that we would end up there! We're moving to a small town northwest of Appleton. My husband's family is originally from there and when they told me the police officers still do house checks when you're out of town and unlock your car doors for you, I was sold! Seriously, what a lovely state you live in! I have to admit that I am one of the people who never knew much about the state, except that every time my in-laws visit they bring back coolers full of cheese curds and Sun drop in bottles (we don't have that here in the south!). I have to say that they don't do much to refute the stereotype. When we had our first child they joyfully sent all of my husband's Packers sleepers from when he was a baby! We are looking forward to exploring your beautiful state, apple trees in the backyard, and a safer, more family-friendly area.

I have lived all over the southeast US--Here in Tennessee I love the fireflies, the Smokies, the Cumberland plateau, and bumping into country-music singers at Kroger (I'm near Nashville!). In Florida I loved the pines, oaks, spanish moss, and key limes. I love the Cypress trees in south Georgia and the red clay to the north, I love accents and history in South Carolina. But I have to say that I have never seen an area that pulls at my heartstrings like the Wisconsin you have posted pictures of. Once my husband is done with the military next summer we are really looking forward to finally having a permanent place to call home.

What does a southerner need to know about moving north? I know, most people are headed in the opposite direction . Are there any places in the picture thread that are near there? I need to dust my Atlas off! Also, my husband is going back to school on his GI bill and we are wondering if there are specific jobs that are more in demand up there? He'd prefer a trade as opposed to a bachelors--it seems to be easier to get a job that way these days!

And thank you for your wonderful picture thread--I could get lost in there!

[Drover]

Here's my heads-up tips:

1) It's f'ng cold up there in winter. Yeah, I know, common knowledge. But you don't know what that kind of cold is like until you've experienced it for weeks on end. Unless you've lived in cold climes before, be prepared for the shock of your life your first winter.

2) Speaking of winter, it's long and dark. By "long" I mean lakes stay frozen over as late as early April, and by "dark" I mean in January it is PITCH-BLACK out before 5pm.

3) On the other hand, your patience in winter is rewarded with long summer days where the sun is up before 4:30am and it doesn't get dark out until after 9pm.

4) DEET-based bug spray will be your best friend in summer, especially a summer with a lot of rain. Otherwise the mosquitoes will swoop in after sundown and carry you off into the woods.

5) I don't mean to dampen your enthusiasm, but small-town Wisconsin can be VERY unwelcoming to newcomers. They won't be mean to you and they'll say "hi" and "thanks" to you and go through all the courtesy motions at the bank and the grocery store and what-not; but otherwise they will ignore you with impunity. Many of these towns are filled with people who were born there, grew up there, intend to die there, and aren't interested in knowing anything else. They've known their circle of friends since they were toddlers and they don't see the need to add new people to the circle. Some people in this forum will tell you that I'm wrong or that it's not true for every small town in the state... but it is true for a lot of 'em. I hope the town you have chosen isn't like this, but you should be warned that this might be something you encounter there. It is something to be aware of and look into before making a final decision on where to settle.

[FrontPorchSwing]

Thanks for your reply. Weather is something you deal with. It's not going to kill me, I promise Our winters here get pitch black around 4:30 too. I'm used to moving and adjusting.

As for small-town Wisconsin, no worries there. My husband's grandparents lived there, his parents are from there, and he spent summers there growing up. We are going to be living in a home built by his grandfather in a neighborhood built by his grandfather. My in-laws travel there several times a year (coming this weekend in fact!) to visit and are still close to most people in town. So even though I have never been there, I already feel quite welcomed. We didn't just pick some random town to land in.

[Winnie1123]

I have lived in Wisconsin for over 20 years, until my recent move to Phoenix. I cant wait to move back.

Some small towns are unfriendly, but over all the people in Wisconsin are very friendly.

What town are you moving to, sounds like a great place.

Wisconsin winters can be long, but that is why there is ice skating, snowmobiling, sledding, and other outside activities. When the snow is on the ground it is very pretty.

Summers can be hot and humid, great times to visit to the lakes. Mosquitos can be a problem, but there are problems everywhere you live.

My favorite time of year is fall.

Since you have family in the town already you will not have any problems "fitting in".

[FrontPorchSwing]

Thank you! What are winters really like? A lot of snow? How cold is it on an average day (city-data says 10-15 degrees)? Is it windy? My main concern is safety. I am so sick of hearing about ten murders happening overnight. I know there is crime everywhere, but the SE US has cities with very high crime rates. Also, I noticed the town we are going to has quite a few sex offenders in proportion to the population. The city I live in now is ten times as big as the city we are moving to yet there twice as many sex offenders living there than here. I also saw another post mentioning the same thing about Appleton. Is there just a difference in the way they report up there?

[karfar]

I wouldn't worry about crime, especially up around Appleton in a small town. And fireflies? They're in abundance in the summer, it's very cool to see! The fall is the best time here, it's crisp enough to need a light jacket but still warm enough to be outside, the fall colors are beautiful, it's just a great time of year. The spring is good too, but neither spring nor fall last long enough! The winter can be a drag, this past winter we had a ton of snow but that was unusual. Here's a table of average temps for the Appleton area...Average Weather for Appleton, WI - Temperature and Precipitation.
As you can see, it dips below freezing in the winter. Don't worry though, even though winter can seem to drag on forever, it's worth it when spring, summer & then fall come. I don't think I could live somewhere that doesn't have a change of seasons, it's such a nice change all the time. I also wouldn't worry about unfriendly people, it is what you make of it. As long as your open to meeting people, you should be fine. And the North Woods is the best place to go in the summer, lots of fishing, boating, it's a great atmosphere. And there's a ton of state parks & smaller parks to go camping if that's your thing. As far as the Packers go, people are obsessed here. I'm not into football at all so I'm a bit of an odd person out here, it can get annoying when the packers are on the news at all times, along w/the weather! For some reason, weather can also take up a lot of time on the news. I don't know if this is true or not in the south, but you'll find that people up here are very open & may seem to be rude & nosy. But I actually like that people are so down to earth here. You'll make very good friends while you're here as long as you can open up to people as well. In the summer, in Milwaukee there's festivals & fireworks all the time, we're the city of festivals! LOTS of stuff to do in the whole state, & you're also close enough to Chicago if you wanted to take a weekend trip there. You'll do great here, no worries!

[radraja]

Also keep in mind that averages don't account for windchill...sometimes it feels even colder than it is because of wind (with windchill taken into account, temperatures in the negatives are common). And this past winter was one of the worst ever...it lasted until April! This upcoming one might be the same.

My only other caution would be that WI isn't a very transient state. Especially up north, almost 100% of the residents were born and raised in WI. Being a newcomer may be tough, and you may have a harder time fitting in (especially if you have an accent that isn't midwestern).

[Drover]

Originally Posted by FrontPorchSwing

Thanks for your reply. Weather is something you deal with. It's not going to kill me, I promise Our winters here get pitch black around 4:30 too. I'm used to moving and adjusting.

As for small-town Wisconsin, no worries there. My husband's grandparents lived there, his parents are from there, and he spent summers there growing up...

IF the place you're moving to has the stereotypical small-town Wisconsin insularity, this won't make a difference. They don't care where your husband's family is from. They will care where you and he are from. And it won't make a difference if he spent his summers there either -- they regard people like that as weekenders/vacationers. They are nice to vacationers to their face because they know the local economy relies on people like them, yet there's a lot of underlying tension between vacationers/weekenders and the locals. If you're not already part of a well-established inner circle, you will find it very difficult to break into one.

Again, it's possible, maybe even likely, that the whole "outsider" issue won't be an issue at all. But in the event that it is an issue, the "my husband spent summers here" line won't win you any more friends than if you both had arrived there from Nepal.

[FrontPorchSwing]

Originally Posted by Drover

IF the place you're moving to has the stereotypical small-town Wisconsin insularity, this won't make a difference. They don't care where your husband's family is from. They will care where you and he are from. And it won't make a difference if he spent his summers there either -- they regard people like that as weekenders/vacationers. They are nice to vacationers to their face because they know the local economy relies on people like them, yet there's a lot of underlying tension between vacationers/weekenders and the locals. If you're not already part of a well-established inner circle, you will find it very difficult to break into one.

Again, it's possible, maybe even likely, that the whole "outsider" issue won't be an issue at all. But in the event that it is an issue, the "my husband spent summers here" line won't win you any more friends than if you both had arrived there from Nepal.

The tension you refer to sounds a bit like the tension between the residents in my rural hometown in Florida and the rich snowbirds. There are probably similar tensions in most places in America. There's urbanites vs suburbanites, rural folks vs McMansion builders, racial tensions, religious tensions, political tensions, native Floridians vs snowbirds, North Carolinians versus halfbacks, New York vs New Jersey--and poor California, pretty much everyone has a grudge against them. There is truly nothing new under the sun.

One of my husband's best friends lives there. He was the best man in our wedding. We correspond with their family regularly. We have extended family there and the neighbors have already invited us over for dinner when we visit this fall. I'll leave it at that We move all the time. I've never had an "in" before--sometimes you make great friends in a new place and sometimes you don't. I have a very fulfilled life and I'm not looking to win any popularity contests. I have a great husband and great kids and we know how to have fun . Moving is what you make of it. If you go in expecting it to be "insular" and expecting people to ostrasize you then they probably will. But I do thank you for your concern and I am sympathetic towards your experience. People are people no matter where you go. There are jerks everywhere. In a small town their nastiness might just be displayed differently than it would in a city. I hope your situation now is a better one. It has been my experience that the good folks far outnumber the bad.

If it ends up being a nightmare then we'll move. I've always wanted to live in South Dakota... There's nothing tying us there if we hate it. We'll give it our best shot first, though.

[Drover]

A couple of things in reply.

First, I appreciate your concern for my experience, but I didn't have a bad experience living in Wisconsin. I did just fine.

Second, as a former cabin weekender and still frequent visitor to Wisconsin, I don't mind the locals' standoffishness either, as long as those who take my money for goods received and services rendered are courteous about it (even if they secretly hate my guts), and they generally are.

Third, sometimes you get to make your own experience, and sometimes not. You don't have to move into certain rural places -- New England being a famous example -- with an expectation of insularity and rejection of outsiders to receive it. Sometimes they'll deliver it whether you expected it or not, no matter how hard you try to make the best of it. Or sometimes you move some place hoping to be left alone only to find yourself in a town where everyone talks to and about everyone and everything, including you. The people around you also have a say in shaping your experience.

Last, I didn't assign value judgment to the fact that many Wisconsinites are insular, though you seem to think I was implying that they're jerks. They're not. It's just a cultural thing. There are some things about Wisconsinites' insularity that annoy me, but honestly, it's one of the things I like about Wisconsin. I'm a very private person and I prefer that people more or less leave me alone and not try to chat me up on the street or in the grocery store or otherwise try to involve themselves in my business. Most Wisconsinites are more than accommodating in that regard.

Good luck with your move.