Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
There is a warm-weather equivalent to SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder) which operates in the same way (irritability, lethargy) for people living in areas with too much sun or too long of a summer.
Been there seen that. Wisconsin summers are soooo beautiful compared to the ones in Maryland, watching the fireworks on the fourth of July you sweat just sitting there.
You say no regrets (which I'm glad to hear). But do you think you'd feel the same way if you moved away when your kids were still small? That's my big hang-up - mine are 5 and 3 and I'd hate to make them grow up without grandma just because Dad is sick of shoveling snow...
Plenty of kids grow up just visiting grandma occassionally. Don't let that stop you from moving to a new place.
My kids have lived by their grandparents for a total of 2 years. They were fine about summer visits and the grandparents came out a few times in winter.
Jan & Feb are kind of rough but the rest of the year makes it worth it. I like some fall, winter, and spring. Sure beats Arizona Summers (April - October) where I'm at now! It's still around 100 every day in October and 90 in November. Can't wait to move back to Wisconsin out in the country where I grew up before entering the military.
Hi, everyone! I'm the original starter of this thread, and I just wanted to stop in to say "thank you" for all your thoughts and input. I have read and re-read the posts a couple times through the last few months, and it's great to hear your experiences.
I am almost absolutely certain that I would have lived in Wisconsin near family all these years if I were not married or if I had a hubby who was so open and willing to move there and happily deal with the winters. While I am not a lover of harsh winters, I am of the heart and mindset that living near to family is worth whatever weather you have to deal with. However, I am married, and my hubby, who is a wonderful man, just doesn't want to live in those winters, with those bugs, or where there isn't a lot to offer in his areas of recreational interest: mountain biking, IDPA, and sportbike track days (he's not a hunter, a fisherman, a team sports person, or a winter activities do-er ). We know there are some of all those things he enjoys there in Wisconsin, but not like out west. I don't want him to move there just because I want to and then be miserable or resent me. I want us to live and raise our family where we both want to. The flip side is that I do love the west, and half of my childhood was spent in eastern Washington, which actually feels like home to me. If my family lived out west I'd be the happiest camper around. However, my parents and siblings moved back to Wisconsin a few months after I turned 20, and now I'm 35...with one daughter and another on the way. But I do also love so many things about Wisconsin, and if my hubby were all for living there I would ALSO be a happy camper. Oh, the conundrum. Live where you and your spouse both love it because of weather, recreation, etc. (in our case, out west), or live where only one of us would like to live (in this case me) to be near to my family (he doesn't really have any) and raise our children near to their extended family, but then hubby gets the short end of the stick because he's not in an environment he enjoys. It's true that wherever you choose to live you still have to live your everyday lives, and you want to be able to enjoy the one life you have...everyday. It is a lot of a state of mind and a choice of attitude, but realistically we all have things we enjoy doing and weather, culture, recreational, environmental, etc. preferences, and it's nice to live where you can really enjoy where you live because it offers a lot of those preferences.
I replied / wrote at length in your related post in the Milwaukee sub-forum, so I won't re-write all of my lengthy thoughts again here, however, I am telling you, I soooo, sooo emphasize with your quandary - I am 32 (and male), but I totally was just in your situation - almost to a "T" - not too long ago.
My differences were living in the Southwest (Albuquerque) rather than the north west...my wife and I already had lived in the Milwaukee area previously before heading to ABQ (and while we both disliked much about living in the area, we had both similar feelings about it and were kind of on the same "pros / cons wavelength)....
However, we totally BOTH just loved Albuquerque quite a bit. So much! But while we were in ABQ, we had a couple of young children, and me - with all of my extended family and friends back in WI for the most part - got the "itch" to be close to family / friends...it sounds very similar to you.
When we'd come to WI for visits, they were always so enjoyable - seeing all of our friends, relatives, family, etc., and there were such pleasant, enjoyable social times. People seemed so happy and happy to have us here. It just seemed harder and harder every time to get back on the plane and leave - going back to "isolation"...or so it seemed...
So finally, we decided (but more at my prodding than my wife's), to head back to WI, even though we loved ABQ so much. I thought while we'd miss many attributes of Southwestern living, ultimately, the family/friends-connection in WI would overcome it (also because while there are things we either disdain or dislike genuinely about living here, there are many, many, many things that we both do like about here and appreciate about here).
Well, we've been back here going on two years now, and I can honestly say that even though as I write out the logic it seems semi-sound, from someone who went through it all, I would say that pretty much after 2 or 3 weeks of being back, we realized how big of a mistake we made.
In fact, things get very, very harsh internally for us right now often times, realizing just how much we regret moving back and how desparately we wish we were back "home"...which still in our hearts is ABQ.
Unfortunately, cross-country moves cost $$, and to find a suitable job (as well as sell our home), isn't particularly easy in this woeful economy...thus, it leads to a feeling of being "stuck" or "trapped" here, which for my personality especially, is very hard to stomach (I have the patience of a fruit fly).
That isn't to say that we are miserable here. Far from it! There are indeed many things that we do enjoy about living here...sincerely! Many things. And yes, being back closer to family and friends is a good thing for sure.
However, all of the good of being back just doesn't come close to outweighing both 1) the bad of what we don't like here, and 2) the immense great things that we loved of being in the Southwest.
I know exactly (or at least somewhat exactly) how you feel! I have lived it! But I do think that "coming back" to a place with some extreme climatic (and insular) elements like WI - for better or for worse - is a much, much more significant dichotomy than can realistically be realized from living in a much different area (like where you are in the West) for a long time. I guess what I am saying is - I think anyway - how you think it will be - "on paper" - even if you are truly trying to think logically, will very likely be very, very different in reality.
I don't know...I think my overall advice would be to strongly consider the many wonderful elements of what you BOTH like about living where you are...how you've pretty much made YOUR lives and YOUR marriage, etc., where you are. You've built your identity there! While you think that coming to WI again might mean just shifting that identity east or modifying your identity, I think in many aspects, it actually is more trying to ease/adjust into the identity of the extended family that's been in place for some time.
I don't know. I think ultimately my advice would be a bit different if you hated it in the West or what have you, however, since you really enjoy it there, I think the answer is what it is.
Everyone is different, and everyone's circumstances are different, however, I wouldn't be surprised in the least (and surely I would hope to be wrong) that if you and your husband headed to WI largely for family / social stuff, you'd be here for a little while and then really start regret moving - missing where you were. Not so much because of "how bad WI is"...but more, because of how great it was for your situations - individually as well as collectively - in the West.
Anyway, this is a real hard one, and I wish you luck as you continue to evaluate it!!
Wow, EnjoyEP! THANK YOU for your heart-filled, thoughtful response and for sharing your story with me. I do remember reading your posts on the thread in the MKE forum, and they made an impact on my thinking, and now this post certainly does, too. So thank you! Your response is one I will refer to a few times, I'm sure.
Do you have children? That really is one of the biggest things for me now, and I know a lot of people struggle with that...wanting to have their children around their grandparents and cousins and extended family. What's funny is for the first ten years of my life I was born and raised in Wisconsin and had all the extended family around. For the second ten years of my life I lived in Eastern Washington with only my immediate family. While I have wonderful memories of extended family times when I lived there, I do not remember "missing" those times when I lived out west from 10-20. What I do hold close to my heart is all the wonderful memories my own immediate family made together living in Eastern Washington and how close we all became. Still to this day I don't "wish" I had grown up around extended family. I have great memories of visiting them, and for that I'm thankful. I guess it's really more of a parent's desire, not the children's desire, to have children grow up around extended family. What matters to the children is that they have a safe, fulfilling, wonderful home life, wherever that may be. I am so thankful, actually, that we grew up a lot of years away from extended family because it kept us out of the gossip and politics, if you will, living close to extended family can bring, and we became a very close-knit family being "on our own." AND it seems to me that ever since Dad moved the family back to Wisconsin (a few months after I was married) that the immediate family bond really got severed. No is really that close anymore, and it's sad. We all still love each other so much and like getting together, but it's just not the same.
So with all that you'd think I wouldn't struggle with this, but I do. I just wonder if I will regret, years down the road, not raising our children close to their grandparents, especially. However, if we did make the move to Wisconsin I'm almost certain I would regret it because I think our immediate family would suffer a lot, and that is just not worth it to me.
We personally moved back to Wisconsin after living in Idaho (Boise) for a couple of years. My wife and I loved living in Boise and all that it had to offer.
However after we had a kid, I started to rationalize that being back in Wisconsin would give our son more opportunities to spend around family, great schools, yada yada (whatever else I tried to tell myself).
Granted my parents live in Florida and my in-laws live around the Twin Cities. Both my wife and I are not real close with extended family. See them once or twice a year. See my parents twice a year and her parents 6 to 8 times a year.
I eventually talked my wife into moving back to Wisconsin, but after only a year we want to go back. The change in lifestyle is not what I expected, even though we are born and bred Wisconsinites. We now appreciate the lifestyle we had in Idaho. We don't see family much more than we did when we were living in Idaho. I now realize that I can't live my life to please family, I think you will always be disappointed. I really believe that you have to do what is best for your immediate family and not live with the regret of "what if?"
My kids are not going to have the same experiences that I had as a kid and there is nothing wrong with that. I look at the experiences and life lessons that I could give my kids that I never had.
For us we are making the best of riding out the recession in Madison. If the opportunity presents itself within the next couple of years then we will be back out west.
One last note. The winter we just had in Wisconsin, makes me appreciate just how mild the winter is in SW Idaho.
Wow, BOItoMSN! This sounds so similar to our life. We currently live in SW Idaho (Nampa, not Boise; although if we stay here we'd like to get moved over to Boise.) It's interesting to hear your feelings on it all now that you've made the move. Thank you for sharing. Your response is incredibly helpful!!!
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
). We know there are some of all those things he enjoys there in Wisconsin, but not like out west. I don't want him to move there just because I want to and then be miserable or resent me. I want us to live and raise our family where we both want to. The flip side is that I do love the west, and half of my childhood was spent in eastern Washington, which actually feels like home to me. If my family lived out west I'd be the happiest camper around. However, my parents and siblings moved back to Wisconsin a few months after I turned 20, and now I'm 35...with one daughter and another on the way. But I do also love so many things about Wisconsin, and if my hubby were all for living there I would ALSO be a happy camper. 
