Fond du Lac (Milwaukee, Green Bay, Oshkosh: vacation home, unemployed, public schools)

[ahanix1989]

Alright, everyone, let me re-emphasize:

We Can Not Force Diversity

Do not ***** to us about our lack of minorities -- we can't control that.

[newbie810]

Ok. For those still interested, here I am, just over a year later....
We moved here last June '06 (see previous post) to Fond du Lac from eastern Michigan. My first impression of Fond du Lac and Wisconsin was overall a good one. I was astounded at the friendly people everywhere we went, and how clean it all is here. Our neighborhood is a subdivision (price range $170K and up) is excellent, we can walk to the elementary school, to a park, and to a church.
My boys did great in school and I'm still impressed at what the district offers compared to where we come from in Michigan. They seemed to make friends easily. They played well with the other children in the neighborhood.
Although I still feel that Wisconsin has a lot to offer and is a beautiful state, my overall opinion of Fond du Lac has changed. I still think it is pretty here, most folks care to keep their property and the city clean...I feel very safe here, and feel that my children are safe. And though I still feel that overall, Wisconsin residents are very friendly, I now feel that, at least here in Fond du Lac, the friendliness stops at face level: meaning, everyone is friendly when you pass by on the street, checkout at a store or restaurant, or at the post office. However, they are not welcoming on a relationship level. Other than a very few exceptions (two of which are people who came from other states so they are not from here originally, and the third has children in Michigan and is aware of the need to be welcoming to newcomers)--other than a few, overall my experience has been a lonely one. To put it frankly, I've now gotten a complex since last year and actually have been quite depressed over not being able to make friends.
I am someone who has traveled world over extensively and I've lived in a number of states. I have many hobbies and am quite outgoing. I am a person who embraces adventure and new experiences with open arms. I fully intended on blending in seamlessly here in Fond du Lac and we as a family had fully intended on making this a permanent move.
I can now tell you we're in the process of moving back to Michigan as I type. I have since met several people both online and in person who have been "shut out" of the Fond du Lac community, and by that I mean, they've just gotten such a cold shoulder that they needed to find somewhere else to live. I've been told by three different people (one being a mailman) that if you're not from here, born and raised, you're mostly not welcome here. At least after hearing that I'm getting over this complex of not having made friends, slowly.
I feel very bad about this year....I will always feel bad that I couldn't make things work here, but I can't stand to be so alone. I tried hard to meet other parents at the school, to find friends at church and moms clubs. I wish we'd moved to a village close by or something, maybe that would've been better. I will miss the beauty and cleanliness here, and I will miss the schools. I will come back to WI on vacations now and then to see what we missed as far as the Dells and the trails and Door County in the Fall.
If anyone who reads this is from Fond du Lac, please, someday if you come across a newcomer in your town, please try to help them feel welcome--beyond the first meeting. For those of you considering moving to Fond du Lac, well, just take note of my experience and consider it. I know everyone's experience is different....I wish you well.

ps, there are some great antique shops here! And I adore Fiesta Tepatia restaurant. Try it!

[sarahandangie]

i was born in munising, mi and moved in 1983 at the age of 14. moved to gladstone until i graduated in 1987. even though i was a native and my dad was born there, i got treated like crap from the majority of the kids in my grade. i was happy to move away from munising but because i met a guy who was an outcast in gladstone everybody judged me and treated me worse than munising. i was happy to graduate and move away from there. unfornatually, my mother stayed there and so did my older brother and sister. because my brother and sister made friends with people that gave my boyfriend a hard time my siblings turned against my boyfriend. i married my boyfriend and nobody like it .they still don't accept him. we have 2 teenagers with special needs and were not treated fairly by my siblings and their kids. we moved down to fond du lac pretty much because of being snubbed by relatives. i like it here in fond du lac. we belong to a church that is so friendly. i've been to many churches through the years and found that this church outdoes all of them. i'm 38 and attend college at uw here and mostly everybody is young enough to be my kids and not once have i been treated like crap from them. i get so much respect from students. all the staff are friendly. i live in a trailor park and i have not had any problems with any of the neighbors. everybody in fond du lac that i have talked to or associated with treat me alot better than my own relatives. i've been to marquette many times. i had a cousin that lived there on hampton st. my mother was born there and lived there all of her childhood.

[Wi_Girl]

I moved from WI to VA and have made plenty of 'face' friends just like everyone talks about in WI. I dont care where you go you're going to find that everywhere. The ONLY reason so many outsiders are accepted here in VA is because 75% of the population is military. One of my friends that I've made here from NC told me 'Southern girls are usually nice to your face but backstab or talk bad about you behind your back'. Well, she's right, not in all cases, but in MANY. There is alot of jealosy and competition between the women down here. It took me 2 years to make just a handful of friends and I really tried hard. Also, there are many southern girls who think it would kill them to cut the grass or do anything outdoorsy. They cant believe I cut grass and help my husband with the yardwork.

So to give another perspective, its not just Wisconsin like everyone thinks. And although we're in VA now, we're going to move back in a few years and start our daughter off in 1st grade. I agree I dont want to move to WI and have her change schools, I'd rather her be in her school from 1st grade on to be accepted eaiser.

And I have a brother in law originally from VA who now lives outside of Fon Du Lac and they have PLENTY of friends that they have found through church. It took a while but he still swears he would NEVER move back here and will stay in WI for the rest of his life. So to give another perspective, people CAN make it and DO make it. I'm sorry if you werent able to make freinds and it didnt work out good for you, but that is not the case for everyone.

[kessesam]

It is a shame that one person's opinion, which happens to be so vile, is the only one that I see posted. I have lived in Fond du Lac practically all my life. While it isn't like living in a big city like Chicago (Thank God it isn't) it is close enough to big cities that I can still find things to do. Fond du Lac is actually a pretty nice town to live in. Fond du Lac has a great educational system for our (your) children with Luthern, Catholic and public education available. There may be a lot of bars in town but no one says that you have to drink when you go out. It is unfortunately that "I hate Fond du Lac" was treated that way, I know that I am NEVER treated that way when I go out. She must have been hanging out with the WRONG type of people. She obviously didn't live in my neighborhood, because after I bought my house I had neighbors coming over and introducing themsleves to me. We recently had a nieghbor die and everyone in the nieghborhood pitched in to help out his family that was left. Please do not make your judgement about our town based on the opinion of one person. I have traveled all over the US opening new stores and have bad experience in probably every town I was in from Council Bluffs Iowa to Richmond Virginia to Opelika Alabama, but I have not let those experiences cloud my view of the world. This person, to me, sounds like they were bitter to begin with before they moved to Fond du Lac. Come visit and make up your OWN mind.

[kessesam]

Originally Posted by proud wisconsinite

I'm just infuriated at the closed-mindedness of so many of these posts. Fondefender is one of the only posts that is sensible and honest. I too have lived in Fond du Lac all of my life except for a couple of years in Ohio and I have to say the top thing that brought me back is the people here. I've traveled extensively in the states and abroad and have found that Wisconsin people, particularly in the Fond du Lac and Fox Valley area are friendly, decent, hard working people. You will have your drunks, bad neighbors, bad parents, bad drivers, rednecks, etc. in ANY city ANYWHERE! I was raised in Fond du Lac and I'm now happily raising my daughter here. It is a place I can feel safe and I think that "ihatefondy" needs to get her head out of her rear end and realize that she sounds extremely arrogant and rude. You're giving MN natives a bad name with your attitude. Any place is what you make it first of all, secondly, maybe if you can't make ends meet on $60,000+ and a part-time income then you need to re-evaluate your spending. I make less than half that and my husband works only part-time and we are doing just fine, own a nice home on the southeast side of fondy in a nice neighborhood with half the tax cost you have. Many people buy houses that are too big and expensive and live way above their means driving huge SUV's or trucks they don't need...are you one of them? You certainly come across as one of those mom's that no one can stand that thinks she and her kids can do no wrong. Good luck finding the perfect city, maybe you need to open your eyes and stop being so judgemental and self-righteous!

When I read your reply I was thinking the EXACT same thing. I own a house on the southeast side of town and my taxes are no where near as high as what "I hate Fond du Lac," my folks live on the west side and neither are theirs. They do sound like they might be concerned with outwardly things and that may have been their problem. I think that they have deeper issues and where they live is not really the problem, the problem is what you make of the situation.
"What lies behind us and what lies ahead of us are tiny matters compared to what lives within us."--Ralph Waldo Emerson

[kessesam]

Originally Posted by ihatefonddulac

I would agree that every place has problems, but it depends on what the problems are and what you are willing to live with. I don't know if the two that are native to Fond du Lac are living in a teetotaler neighborhood, but just about everyone in our neighborhood sits around drinking beer outside constantly. It's also pretty disturbing to take our kids to the supposed "family event" called Walleye Weekend and have to leave by about 2 p.m. due the excessive amount of drinking. My daughter had a soccer game that morning over there which we took her to, and after that, her and her little brother wanted to stay for the kid events (the inflatables, etc.). We weren't there very long, and it seemed like a lot of the adults standing around that area were drinking or were drunk and everyone was smoking around the kids, dropping cigarette butts all over the place where little kids were playing. Granted my youngest is almost seven and is out of the stage of picking up everything, but there were little kids picking up cigarette butts. We ended up leaving. In our hometown in MN, they had family events every two weeks or at least once a month in the winter, more often in the summer, where NO ONE drinks and smoking is not allowed around the kids. Did you read the earlier post about the person's sister who moved out of WI due to the "excessive alcohol consumption (beer)"? Obviously, it's an issue.

Also, other than sports, what is there for kids to do there? They closed Toys R Us and Loads of Fun which were about the only thing for kids to do inside that isn't sports oriented. The new McDonald's playland is pretty small and always very crowded. Why can't the Forest Mall sponsor some family events or kid activities especially in the winter? All the places we have lived including our hometown had a mall that sponsored family/kid events regularly. It seems that most of the activities geared towards kids are sports oriented. What if your kids aren't interested in sports? The activities are very limited.

Also, we've never lived in a place that did not allow trick or treating on Halloween. We ended up driving to Brownsville just so the kids could go trick or treating on Halloween. We found out later that in Fond du Lac, there was trick or treating from 3-5 on a different day than Halloween. Then the rest of the time was geared towards adult costume parties in the bars. Halloween is mostly a KIDS' holiday. It's not supposed to be another excuse for adults to get drunk in the bars.

We used to have trick-or-treating on Halloween, but due to an unfortunate event the people of Fond du Lac changed that to make sure that our children would stay safe. Halloween is a pagan holiday to honor our dead ancestors. Children are about life. You are quick to point out there was nothing to do if your children are sports orientated...did YOU ever try to do something to change that while you were here? The children of todays society are very sedentary and getting out and doing something wouldn't hurt them.

[quickdraw]

Originally Posted by kessesam

It is a shame that one person's opinion, which happens to be so vile, is the only one that I see posted. I have lived in Fond du Lac practically all my life. While it isn't like living in a big city like Chicago (Thank God it isn't)

It seems odd that you find someone's opinion of FDL vile and then you take a potshot at Chicago, ya hey d'ere.

[fondyisgreat]

I have moved all over this land of ours and find that where ever you are and where ever you live, it is up to YOU to make it great. I have found Great people in every community that I have ever lived in. I raised four kids and they were involved in many community activities in each place. And Fond du Lac is no different... There are many things to do if you want to look for them. I have a large home and my taxes are far less than $3,000.

The people in our neighborhood are always there to help out if we need help. And for the record we are not natives to this area. I don't have a issue with the water as we do have our own well which tests free of radium. Fond du lac has been good to me and so have the people. Believe in who you are, Believe in what you do, it's not a quirk of fate, it is strictly up to YOU.

[yo vanilla]

Originally Posted by ihatefonddulac

Also, we've never lived in a place that did not allow trick or treating on Halloween. We ended up driving to Brownsville just so the kids could go trick or treating on Halloween. We found out later that in Fond du Lac, there was trick or treating from 3-5 on a different day than Halloween. Then the rest of the time was geared towards adult costume parties in the bars. Halloween is mostly a KIDS' holiday. It's not supposed to be another excuse for adults to get drunk in the bars.

i know this post is like a year old and all but i'll respond anyway. i grew up in fondle sack. the reason FDL does not have trick or treating at night on halloween is because back in the early 70's a little girl was trick or treating but got ****ing kidnapped, raped, and stuffed into a cabinet in some *******'s house where she died. my mom later babysat in that house (new owners by then) and saw the cabinet.

this is extremely common public knowledge and frankly if you would ask any random person in FDL they can tell you all about it. if kids trick or treating in the daylight on sunday keeps them all safe i cannot complain. i have two of my own. last thing i need is one of them kidnapped, raped, and stuffed into a cabinet.