said something inappropriate at work (reputation, job, career, money)

[simpleharmonicmotion]

I'm a 25 year old female who works in a health care setting. I was in the break room at work, talking to two older men who are good guys-both very family oriented. One is of de facto "senior standing" in the dept. I'm sure they see me like a daughter. I was mentioning a friend that likes to ask "insightful" but very inappropriate questions like in this case "If you could sleep with 10 women, but one of them had AIDS, would you do it?". Before I knew it, this question came out of my mouth in front of everyone and it made it seem like I had explicitly asked them this question. I'm pretty sure I embarrassed them because I put them on the spot, though I never intended to. Now, I feel very embarrassed because I feel my actions were unprofessional. They are both a bit more curt with me the last time I saw them, though I am not sure if it was because I was less casual and more "business like" with them last time I saw them. I just started this job and I am worried that I have damaged my professional reputation. I'm sure they see me as a risk to be associated with, like some sexual harassment case waiting to happen. I am mortified. I opted to just hope that they forget it, but I wonder now if I should write them an email to apologize.
Any advice?

[jamaicabound60565]

Especially at a new job you have to be kind of guarded with people until you feel them out and see if they are someone you can joke around with. Some people just tend to be very businesslike and dont like a lot of personal interaction while others like to laugh and joke and have relationships with tohers at work.

I think you kinda hit the nail on the head with the sexual harrassment thing. Like you said they probably view you as sort of daughter like so not only are they probably uncomfortable talking about a sexual subject wtih you but in the workplace a discussion like that could go very bad if you have it with the wrong person.

[Family_Guy27]

If you were male, you'd already be having a conversation with HR.

[simpleharmonicmotion]

can this be moved to relationships?

[dnvrsoul]

Well what is done is done-honestly, you better hope someone doesn't go to HR. I've seen this time and time again (thank god not me). No matter what, I always believe that you cannot joke around with certain "private" issues at work. My boss a long time ago gave me some advice-"work relationships can change an in instant, and you may be the last to know."
Good luck-

[Soda120]

E-mail? DON'T DO IT. That would give them even MORE to discuss and consider.
You got too informal with them (which is always a no-no). However, just be professional from now on. Do a stellar job and keep your mouth shut.
Everybody makes mistakes (darn it all for being human ). Learn from it and move on

[Braunwyn]

Originally Posted by Family_Guy27

If you were male, you'd already be having a conversation with HR.

Originally Posted by hideandseekforever

I am mortified. I opted to just hope that they forget it, but I wonder now if I should write them an email to apologize.
Any advice?

I would not email, but if too much time has not passed you could mention that you feel you may have made some inappropriate comments and that you apologize. And be done with it. A couple of years ago I was in the lab talking with a few colleagues. Our lab head walked up to join in. He and I have get along well and talk quite a bit. Apparently, there was some money sticking out of my back pocket. He pushed it back in the pocket with his finger since he was behind me. Later, he realized that was a stupid move and he apologized. No biggie. Of course, I let it pass. He just got too comfortable in that moment.

[NCN]

You can't go back and do it over again, so go forward and don't do it again. Concentrate on work and stay out of the break room. And whatever you do, do not send an e-mail. Someone may make a hard copy. Right now it would be your word against whatever they might say. You were misunderstood. That is not your fault. Forget and move on, but move on with caution.

[kodaka]

I would be forthright--apologize (verbally!) for the inappropriate comment the next time you have a chance to talk to them. Then drop it. Don't prolong the situation by making some formal apology or trying to discuss it.

I think assuming that one mistaken comment at the age of 24 is going to define the next forty years of your career is blowing things way, way way out of proportion. Good grief.

[megonow]

I would apologize

I would say something like, i'm really sorry about that. I wasn't thinking.

We all do or say thoughtless things sometimes

but, since these guys are senior to you, I'd definitely revisit it and express

regret and promise never to do it again

then, i'd drop it