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The people I work for are big-time Christians (or should I say hypo-christians LOL). Anyway, every year their "employee" Christmas party is an uber big deal. Everybody goes, get's presents, gets their "bonus", and eats dinner.
My dh and I are not Christians and we do not celebrate Christmas. In fact, if anything we are repulsed by the idea. The last thing on EARTH that we want to do is go to a party where the invitation says... "Please bless us with your presence". If we were expected to participate in saying "grace", I could not be responsible for my husband's actions- he might start singing "Barnacle Bill the Sailor" or something. LOL
Anyway, I have made it known that I will not be attending. So I am getting the stink eye and cold shoulder from my employer who has not spoken a word to me in more than five days (not that I care LOL).
There have been many jovial conversations in the office (not with me), about who is coming and who isn't and what the menu is, and blah blah blah blah, clearly indicating that this party is far more important to my boss than anything as mundane as work would be. However, I do not like being treated like a leper simply because I do not wish to attend.
I am wondering what your thoughts are on this. I am a little boggled by her childish behavior, but then, knowing her immature attitude and point of view, I'm really not if you know what I mean.
20yrsinBranson
Geez, I am not a Christian either-- but I will still respectfully bow my head during prayers, grace, etc. Most companies offer some kind of holiday party for their employees. Heck, the barn where I board a horse does the same thing with a santa swap. It is because it is cultural.
Last statistics I saw (circa a 2001 study) over 70% of the US identifies with being Christian. 14% as non-secular, agnostic, atheist, humanist-- and then the rest of the pop was mixed with Muslims, Jewish faith, Wiccan, etc.
It is the reason why I act respectful because I am truly in the minority and bowing my head and just being respectful of the bulk of people's cultural identity is not the end of the world for me.
In my line of work, I go out to a lot of functions that I am not particularly keen about. For example, if I travel then there is always some dinners, drinks, etc. I would much prefer to go and veg in my hotel room, but I know that would just alienate me from my colleagues, coworkers, management, etc.
I even went to a holiday party for my former department given by the leadership I couldn't stand, but the way I am able to mingle with them you would never know it. It is called networking and being able to put your personal feelings on the side while you build a rapport with those you work with.
There are ways to gracefully bow out of parties-- I did a graceful bow out for another work holiday party that I was just too tired to go to. It is just a matter of acting with some couth and channeling Ms. Manners.
20yrsinBranson I am curious is this a family owned business? Is this a small business where your employer is the one and only employer or is it a big Company?
It sounds to me like your co-workers are just acting like brown nosers. They bring up the party just to kiss butt with the boss. I bet some of them secretly wish they had the back bone to bow out the way you did. Like another poster said the parties are always formed into cliques and that takes all the joy out of feeling like it's for everybody. It's no fun when it's been made clear by your co-wokers and sometimes even your immediate supervisor to you that they don't want you there (working in the Company) in the first place oh but now you should break bread with. Since you do get the christmas bonus at the party that tells me your boss wants attention for giving you one. You might have to go just to get that bonus. It shouldn't be that way and I would looking into diming him/her out if that's what happens.
Geez, I am not a Christian either-- but I will still respectfully bow my head during prayers, grace, etc. Most companies offer some kind of holiday party for their employees. Heck, the barn where I board a horse does the same thing with a santa swap. It is because it is cultural.
Last statistics I saw (circa a 2001 study) over 70% of the US identifies with being Christian. 14% as non-secular, agnostic, atheist, humanist-- and then the rest of the pop was mixed with Muslims, Jewish faith, Wiccan, etc.
It is the reason why I act respectful because I am truly in the minority and bowing my head and just being respectful of the bulk of people's cultural identity is not the end of the world for me.
In my line of work, I go out to a lot of functions that I am not particularly keen about. For example, if I travel then there is always some dinners, drinks, etc. I would much prefer to go and veg in my hotel room, but I know that would just alienate me from my colleagues, coworkers, management, etc.
I even went to a holiday party for my former department given by the leadership I couldn't stand, but the way I am able to mingle with them you would never know it. It is called networking and being able to put your personal feelings on the side while you build a rapport with those you work with.
There are ways to gracefully bow out of parties-- I did a graceful bow out for another work holiday party that I was just too tired to go to. It is just a matter of acting with some couth and channeling Ms. Manners.
Great post!
Where cultural and religious diversity is concerned, I recently became involved with a local group dedicated to improving our 'hood and, right from the get-go, the community meetings were both started off with a prayer and ended with same along with the hand-holding routine. My first reaction was one of uncomfortability. Even though I've been exposed to many different religions over many years I went along with the procedure but it seemed that my little bit of discomfort was noted because, at the next session, the host asked me if I was uncomfortable about the closing prayer. I honestly responded in the affirmative but said it was OK and all progressed smoothly.
I'm happy that people find solace in their religious beliefs and, even though my viewpoint is different, I respect their beliefs even though I don't necessarily agree with them. I won't ever again raise an eyebrow or make a mutter which can be construed in any way as disrespectful. Old dogs CAN learn!
Maybe it's a generational thing but I really find it hard to wrap my brain around some of the posts on this thread when some people are advocating plain bad manners and rude behavior. Business social events aren't everybody's cup of tea but how difficult is it to just be polite, show up, spend a little time socializing and then, if you don't want to stay, thank the host and make a quiet exit once you've made the rounds? Much ado about nothing.
Exactly. I think some people aren't happy if they aren't complaining about something and aren't be "oppressed".
These same people will then complain because they are getting treatly unfairly because they didn't go to the party. Well, life isn't fair. If you can't suck it up for an hour or two you get what you deserve.
Work is politics. You can say you are not "political" and won't kiss a$$...but not going to a party is work suicide. No matter how much you hate your boss, hate Christmas, hate parties, and hate food, or whatever else there is to hate...you like your paycheck. So, equate your yearly salary with the one hour of showing up to a party, and drinking some punch or whatever...or eating some food, always eat what the boss brings, and LOVE it. Participate, bring a gift, whatever you are supposed to do...this is so much a part of work...why don't people get it?! It is like the woman I worked with a few years ago, who would never go out to lunch with the other workers, never went to any of the trainings out of town, never did anything social at all with the other workers, and the boss. Sat at her desk during all parties, and lunches, and birthdays...and who was the first one laid off? Yep...the woman who sat at her desk during parties....
My job isn't about socializing...and I don't have to do it. What I do have to do is my job, I have to actually PERFORM. If I can't perform, I can understand them getting rid of me--but I do.
Well, aside from the Christian factor, I don't want to go because I dislike them very much. They treat me badly at work and I do not consider myself "friends" with them or any of the other co-workers (with one exception). I do not like their choice of food (Olive Garden) either.
Anyway, I have made it known that I will not be attending. So I am getting the stink eye and cold shoulder from my employer who has not spoken a word to me in more than five days (not that I care LOL).
I love the way you think so highly of yourself but I sincerely doubt if anyone is losing their sleep because you're not going to their party. Unless they were depending on you to bring booze or something, your absence will most likely go unnoticed.
For those saying suck it up and go to the party because it is job suicide not to -- what kind of places do you work at? How can you work at a place where attending a party is more important than your work performance? I've worked in the government, non-profits, and fortune 500 companies and I've never felt any qualms about if I attend a party or not. No one cared and other employees had no issues either. If the party is outside of regular business hours, I definitely feel I can say no and not be questioned about it. I've never been ostracized, given the stink eye, missed out on my bonus, not talked to, or been thought less of because I didn't attend a party. What a petty world if this is the case.
I'm not attending our party in my office during work hours this year because it is in our too small conference room with the water-stained walls, 25 year old carpet, and table and chairs bought used in the 1980s. The food will be a fine selection of lunch meats, chicken wings, and a vegetable platter from the local grocery store. The platters that are ordered are only made to serve 12-16 people, however, we have 25 employees. I'm sure the boss will splurge on store-brand 2 liter sodas also. But I bet he will just grab some paper towels from the bathroom instead of putting out a buck for napkins. Yes, it will definitely be a grand affair and I'm sure I'll regret not joining in the fun.
I went to a Christmas "party" last weekend on a Sunday (non-working day) to a very nice classy restaurant. The "boss" proceeded to berate everyone about their "misdeeds" during the year, and then reminded his "employees" of "how lucky" they were to be his employees. Then he proceeded to hand out very generous Christmas bonuses to those who attended the "party". He informed these workers that they could tell their "co-workers who had missed his "party" would not be receiving their "bonuses". What a jack***. Since most of the work I do for him is administrative and very part-time, let's just say I was very embarrassed for the staff (who had given up their free time) and let him know how I felt after the party was over. I have always thought parties should be optional and not about anything, except you are there because you want to be there. I told him, if I am still doing contract work for you...I won't be attending your party....
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