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The people I work for are big-time Christians (or should I say hypo-christians LOL). Anyway, every year their "employee" Christmas party is an uber big deal. Everybody goes, get's presents, gets their "bonus", and eats dinner.
My dh and I are not Christians and we do not celebrate Christmas. In fact, if anything we are repulsed by the idea. The last thing on EARTH that we want to do is go to a party where the invitation says... "Please bless us with your presence". If we were expected to participate in saying "grace", I could not be responsible for my husband's actions- he might start singing "Barnacle Bill the Sailor" or something. LOL
Anyway, I have made it known that I will not be attending. So I am getting the stink eye and cold shoulder from my employer who has not spoken a word to me in more than five days (not that I care LOL).
There have been many jovial conversations in the office (not with me), about who is coming and who isn't and what the menu is, and blah blah blah blah, clearly indicating that this party is far more important to my boss than anything as mundane as work would be. However, I do not like being treated like a leper simply because I do not wish to attend.
I am wondering what your thoughts are on this. I am a little boggled by her childish behavior, but then, knowing her immature attitude and point of view, I'm really not if you know what I mean.
Most businesses do have some type of holiday function for their employees; attending for a short time isn't a terrible idea. But if you don't wish to, simply decline with grace (whoops, sorry for using that word). Saying that you have a previous obligation is a good way to do this.
You are right, though, to keep your husband from attending if you think he may lapse into boorish behavior.
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Anyway, I have made it known that I will not be attending.
If your way of making it known included the type of judgemental bias revealed in your post, it hardly comes as any surprise that it was less than well received.
There have been a few times when I have personally declined to attend these things and it never was any big deal.
Maybe the party is important to your boss; there isn't anything wrong with that at.
If you've unintentionally caused bad feelings it might be too late to change that, even if you decide to go. It would be interesting to come up for an explanation of why you declined but now you want to go. Since it's at night you can't say you had a doctor's appointment.
I can understand your squeamishness at being at a Christmas party. Being there doesn't mean you are joining the Christian church. Even if they said grace, which is highly unlikely, you could still hold hands but not bow your head. I was raised in a fundamentalist church which didn't celebrate Christmas. As an adult atheist, I will put up a tree and maybe even trade gifts. None of that makes me a Christian or makes me want to be a Christian. I've gone to office "holiday" parties and had no problem with it.
If you've unintentionally caused bad feelings it might be too late to change that, even if you decide to go. It would be interesting to come up for an explanation of why you declined but now you want to go. Since it's at night you can't say you had a doctor's appointment.
I can understand your squeamishness at being at a Christmas party. Being there doesn't mean you are joining the Christian church. Even if they said grace, which is highly unlikely, you could still hold hands but not bow your head. I was raised in a fundamentalist church which didn't celebrate Christmas. As an adult atheist, I will put up a tree and maybe even trade gifts. None of that makes me a Christian or makes me want to be a Christian. I've gone to office "holiday" parties and had no problem with it.
Well, aside from the Christian factor, I don't want to go because I dislike them very much. They treat me badly at work and I do not consider myself "friends" with them or any of the other co-workers (with one exception). I do not like their choice of food (Olive Garden) either.
Well, aside from the Christian factor, I don't want to go because I dislike them very much. They treat me badly at work and I do not consider myself "friends" with them or any of the other co-workers (with one exception). I do not like their choice of food (Olive Garden) either.
20yrsinBranson
I would have declined based on their choice of restaurant
Well, aside from the Christian factor, I don't want to go because I dislike them very much. They treat me badly at work and I do not consider myself "friends" with them or any of the other co-workers (with one exception). I do not like their choice of food (Olive Garden) either.
20yrsinBranson
Then by all means, do the polite and gracious thing and inform them that their selection of cuisine doesn't measure up to your standards.
Geez...this time of year most people have at least a few holiday obligations; infer that you have a family function to attend instead and leave it at that.
The way to initially handle this is to say something along the lines of..."Hmmm...I'll have to check my calendar at home. I think we have a (family/friend commitment of birthday/anniversary, whatever) that date."
Then later politely, and graciously decline due to a prior committment.
It all then becomes a non-issue.
Well, aside from the Christian factor, I don't want to go because I dislike them very much. They treat me badly at work and I do not consider myself "friends" with them or any of the other co-workers (with one exception). I do not like their choice of food (Olive Garden) either.
20yrsinBranson
I worked for a company that had a very upscale Christmas party at the Beverly Hills Hotel. I never went the two years that I was there as my direct boss was a very unpleasant person.
Some people thought it was crazy to pass up a fancy party, but I would rather not bother if it is people you don't want to be around.
They would sit people at tables by dept., and I thought what is the point of going? I would rather stay home then be in a social situation with people you don't want to socialize with.
The best excuse is you already had plans that night.
The way to initially handle this is to say something along the lines of..."Hmmm...I'll have to check my calendar at home. I think we have a (family/friend commitment of birthday/anniversary, whatever) that date."
Then later politely, and graciously decline due to a prior committment.
It all then becomes a non-issue.
I thought this would be possible until my company tried to schedule around everyone's prior commitments. My company even asked about availability around halloween!
I have been asked. I always decline. After a few years of telling them, "I don't do parties," they got the hint.
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. My company even asked about availability around halloween!
