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Old 01-02-2011, 12:53 PM
 
Location: Traveling again
2,535 posts, read 1,113,106 times
Reputation: 6051
Quote:
Originally Posted by SloRoller View Post
DOCUMENT EVERYTHING!! And don't keep the documentation on your work computer. Take it home every day. Do not leave it the office.
It could be nothing, it could be the workings of a plan to build a case against you and get you out of there. Document Dates, Times, Conversaton subject matter, etc. Being able to prove later what happens now may be your only saving grace in the event he is building a case against you.

Also, if you feel that you are being treated differently, ask HR for a copy of their General Conduct policies and their Harassment Policies. If they ask why, there's no need to go into any detail around your interaction with this guy. Just tell them that you just want to be familiar with it.
Oh how I agree. Document everything, the time, date, who was around and the incident verbatim. Don't lie or exaggerate just state the facts. If you notice that you are having to document more than twice a day, then I would take it to HR after maybe 3 days or so because he might, I repeat, might be trying to "push you out of the door". It's either you or him.

I said it in another post and I will say it here too, employers could care less about how well you get along and what a brilliant worker you are and how well you interact with the team and never take off days unnecessarily and come on time and on and on... they could care less! He may already be addressing things with HR but due to confidentiality, they don't tell you and make you feel like you are coming to them first and they don't have a clue on anything.

If your boss is faster than you getting to HR with his list of things he has had to reprimand you about, you lose. BTW, you should know that when he addresses anything with you, according to HR he is "reprimanding" you. Don't snooze or you will lose!

 
Old 01-02-2011, 12:57 PM
 
Location: UK
30 posts, read 28,819 times
Reputation: 17
I seriously regret posting this, I will just back down now and say no more, sorry I bothered you all with it, I accept totally that it is all me being paranoid and I will just suck it up, there that's what some of you want me to say isnt it. I will just do my duty as the lowest paid and being a female and shut up.

The end.
 
Old 01-02-2011, 01:02 PM
 
Location: Traveling again
2,535 posts, read 1,113,106 times
Reputation: 6051
Quote:
Originally Posted by Daphne42 View Post
I seriously regret posting this, I will just back down now and say no more, sorry I bothered you all with it, I accept totally that it is all me being paranoid and I will just suck it up, there that's what some of you want me to say isnt it. I will just do my duty as the lowest paid and being a female and shut up.

The end.
I know you have the right to do whatever you want to but take into consideration, my post. I don't think shutting away is a good idea. It may be the difference between having a job and being fired.

Unless you can get another job with no worries then that may be another option for you.... If it is not then don't give up just yet.
 
Old 01-02-2011, 02:23 PM
 
Location: UK
30 posts, read 28,819 times
Reputation: 17
Thank you, I think my problem is I am very sensitive at the moment and the post from kodaka (or whatever it was) made me feel like a peice of ****!

Can I just say one thing about myself, who else is going to defend me, although I didnt think I would have to do this on here: I have never disrespected anyone at work, I am friendly, helpful and like to be busy most the time, that is my nature to be nice to people, my post was merely to get some feedback as to whether I am being paranoid or not.

I do feel that I am being pushed out the office, or did some time ago. I am not included in conversations or meetings and a few situations have arisen where a member of public has phoned in and I cannot help because i haven't been kept in the loop. I have addressed that and things have improved dramatically.

I am the youngest, although 43 is not a child! and I am the lowest paid, but everyone is all very keen to get my knowledge or help.

I accept the return to work policy after an illness etc and my Team Leader is very good how he conducts the meeting, but the others that are off sick more than me, do not seem to have the same meeting! He seems more comfortable exercising his powers (very nicely) on me but not the others, in fact the other team in our section had not even heard of the sickness policy!

At the end of the day, I like my job, I like the people I work with, I do respect the TL and Boss but I do not agree that I should bow down and suck it up. I think I need to be on my guard and if any of you that are on this, that are bosses, and you dont agree with that then try being in my shoes!!!

Happy New Year

Last edited by Daphne42; 01-02-2011 at 02:23 PM.. Reason: capital letter
 
Old 01-02-2011, 02:36 PM
 
4,806 posts, read 11,624,414 times
Reputation: 4562
daphne that nastygram you just sent me doesn't change anything about your situation. It certainly won't make me "modify my behavior" as you so rudely ordered me to do!

Why don't you read the terms of service before you send people private messages again.
 
Old 01-02-2011, 03:16 PM
 
Location: UK
30 posts, read 28,819 times
Reputation: 17
Why didn't you read my post before posting your reply, I wasn't any of those things you assumed, another post even said in their post that they didn't see in my post, what you said I was doing or had been doing. That phrase in my message to you is actually a standard phrase used in professional statements. You sound like someone who does not like being answered back to :-)
 
Old 01-02-2011, 03:21 PM
 
Location: UK
30 posts, read 28,819 times
Reputation: 17
Quote:
Originally Posted by kodaka View Post
I don't know if what you describe could accurately be called 'bullying'. He is your boss. It is within his right to question you on your attendance record and organization policy. Even if he is mistaken in his facts, he is still right to make the inquiry.

It sounds like you and the boss just don't quite gel. Something about you rubs him the wrong way so he nitpicks you, which rubs you the wrong way. It happens. Not everyone can get along with everyone. One thing is for certain, you are both a contributing part of the situation. You can't blame it all on him.

Sure you could document every little slight, and if you ever need to, produce this list. But it will just make you seem petty and immature. Instead, you might want to stop and consider how much YOU are contributing to this situation. You express a very 'us versus the new boss' and 'me versus my coworkers' mentality. Perhaps you are creating the adversarial atmosphere, or imagining one where it doesn't exist. You may be using a tone of voice or word choice or facial expressions that is making this guy feel defensive and the need to assert his authority. Paradoxically, while you emphasize the division between the new guy and 'the old-timers', you also compare yourself to your boss, as if you are in the same league. Except he's the boss and you're not. That suggests you are not respecting his authority or his position as much as you should.

Perhaps instead of trying to escalate this conflict, you should try to start over. Let bygones by bygones. Cleanse your mind of all the past little slights, perceived or otherwise. Go in on monday with a commitment to respect your boss for no other reason than that he is your boss, and to be a team player. You'd be surprised what a little attitude adjustment can do to change how other people respond to you.
My message to you was no more rude than this reply publicly, my message to you wasn't public, and it certainly was not rude, just well said!
 
Old 01-02-2011, 03:26 PM
 
4,806 posts, read 11,624,414 times
Reputation: 4562
"Just well said"??? well I guess if you call an emotional rant "well said", then you could call it that:

Quote:
You appear to have totally misread and misunderstood my post and almost have succeeded in making me feel 10 times worse. I assume it you are a boss yourself and assume your co-workers are all against you, well I am not against any of my Team Leaders or our main Boss, he is lovely. I never said I didn't like my Team Leader, he is actually a nice, helpful and fun loving guy, if you read my post again you will see what I am talking about, I refuse to repeat it.

I do not know how the hell you think I disrespect my boss, that's an easy one, why should anyone disrespect anyone at work, no matter what level, we are all people and deserve respect. I give nothing BUT respect and helpfulness to people so don't you dare judge me!!!

I do not intend to be particularly rude but I think your post was intended to upset the thread.

You do not need to reply to this just modify your behaviour.
I don't know why you think your conduct is better just because you wrote a 'private message' but now you know: nothing on the internet is EVER private!
 
Old 01-02-2011, 03:34 PM
 
229 posts, read 304,139 times
Reputation: 160
kodaka - I don't know if you have ever worked in this sector, but...there are things that are protected by Union rules. NO, you don't have to 'suck it up', as you state. There are rules and regulations of behavior. NOONE has the right to disrepect another person, regardless of where they work or what they do but it is especially respected in government jobs and Human Rights shoud be informed of misbehavior on the part of those in charge.

It is different in the private sector, where you have to take whatever is dished out.
 
Old 01-02-2011, 03:55 PM
 
4,806 posts, read 11,624,414 times
Reputation: 4562
Quote:
Originally Posted by Maryolson929 View Post
kodaka - I don't know if you have ever worked in this sector, but...there are things that are protected by Union rules. NO, you don't have to 'suck it up', as you state. There are rules and regulations of behavior. NOONE has the right to disrepect another person, regardless of where they work or what they do but it is especially respected in government jobs and Human Rights shoud be informed of misbehavior on the part of those in charge.

It is different in the private sector, where you have to take whatever is dished out.
Actually I didn't say anything remotely close to 'suck it up'--not literally or figuratively. The only person who has used those terms is OP herself (and now you of course).
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