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Hi there, I have been with the same Local Govt for 25 years, 3 years ago our authority had a restructure, I applied for the job I am doing now, and got it, I enjoy my job and love the people I work with. I used to work with a team of women in an admin section, with the same people around so not much changed only that I joined a different team of women and men, which I find a lot better. We are a close team and work extremely well together and I am at an advantage as I know so many different departments having worked previously for a section that dealt with EVERY other section.
Our new Team Leader joined our section a year after we formed, even though we have a Manager, and another Team Leader within the same office (we are 2 small sections merged). Last year they made a lot of redundancies and about 6 in our whole section went. Since then although this Team Leader in particular is great to work with and is a very nice guy, I have felt for a long time that there is something not quite right. I am usually a good judge of character but I cannot put my finger on this one. See below some examples.
He is very friendly and close (which is nice) to my other female colleague however it sometimes makes the rest of us feel a tad pushed out as he is very often whispering or talking quietly to her.
He seems to read every little paragraph in the 'purple book' (terms and conditions), bit by bit, to me only, nobody else. I actually know that purple book backwards buy hey we wont go into that right now.
We have flexi time, I use it the same as anyone else but he seems to have minor issues about me taking flexi time (wtf)!
Sickness - I have had 9 days altogether in 3 years. Others have had a LOT more, yet I have had the 'talk' (return to work interview) which is ok but not such a deal was made with other dudes. I understand the procedure and accept it, but it would be nice if I could see the same being done with my other team mates.
I get on with everyone and have had a lot of compliments from Councillors (one of which he didn't tell me about), and I like to see a job from start to finish and I like to help people as much as I can.
Don't get me wrong, I think the world of all my colleagues and there really is no atmosphere, this is just a feeling I get, one of my other male colleagues noticed it and actually told me he thinks this guy is treating me different from my other female colleague who I work closely with.
Could it simply be the fact that me and this Team Leader are both fairly outgoing, helpful and friendly and take on probably more than we should, therefore maybe clash. Or do you think I am being paranoid (prays its the 2nd one).
Maybe I am just insecure as there have been cuts, redundancies etc, or am I starting to see a psychological bullying pattern starting here.
Icing on the cake = I had a word with HR to see if some of the things he had told me they were aware of (he had told me that they had told him these things), they had no idea and were amazed he'd told me I couldn't build up hours to gain a flexi day (yet everyone else does). They also knew nothing about the sickness warning, in fact they laughed cause I have not been off any where near long enough to warrant any kind of verbal warning.
He just seems either over protective or is trying to make me feel insecure, why would that be? Could it be a way of trying to push me out of the equation, am I a threat to him.
Any ideas I would greatly appreciate and sorry this is long.
These days everyone is paranoid and rightfully so! I would probably clear the air with him and just let him know you are somewhat uncomfortable about your last few exchanges regarding the sick time and the flex time. just ask if he has a sense you are needing direction or correction on those issues or if he is simply having that conversation with everyone? Then I would remind him of my good attendance record and that I that the work rules very seriously and of course plan to abide by the flex time rules. I would confirm with him that we both share the same understanding of the flex time rules and if not I would request that we get clarification from HR. The message here is that you are watching your back...
DOCUMENT EVERYTHING!! And don't keep the documentation on your work computer. Take it home every day. Do not leave it the office.
It could be nothing, it could be the workings of a plan to build a case against you and get you out of there. Document Dates, Times, Conversaton subject matter, etc. Being able to prove later what happens now may be your only saving grace in the event he is building a case against you.
Also, if you feel that you are being treated differently, ask HR for a copy of their General Conduct policies and their Harassment Policies. If they ask why, there's no need to go into any detail around your interaction with this guy. Just tell them that you just want to be familiar with it.
I agree with SloRoller. You don't say if you are in the Union or not but if so, I would make sure they were aware of what is going on. Paranoid? I don't think so. Just make sure you have some sort of proof of everything that is happening. Try to get an email or something in writing of 'ill doings'. Insist on everything that he tells you is in writing. i.e. you do not have to let him know you are doing it, but when he mentions something like 'having to talk to you' about leave time, ask him to email you the outcome he expects so you have guidelines to follow, etc. Be as tricky as he is. Protect yourself.
I don't know if what you describe could accurately be called 'bullying'. He is your boss. It is within his right to question you on your attendance record and organization policy. Even if he is mistaken in his facts, he is still right to make the inquiry.
It sounds like you and the boss just don't quite gel. Something about you rubs him the wrong way so he nitpicks you, which rubs you the wrong way. It happens. Not everyone can get along with everyone. One thing is for certain, you are both a contributing part of the situation. You can't blame it all on him.
Sure you could document every little slight, and if you ever need to, produce this list. But it will just make you seem petty and immature. Instead, you might want to stop and consider how much YOU are contributing to this situation. You express a very 'us versus the new boss' and 'me versus my coworkers' mentality. Perhaps you are creating the adversarial atmosphere, or imagining one where it doesn't exist. You may be using a tone of voice or word choice or facial expressions that is making this guy feel defensive and the need to assert his authority. Paradoxically, while you emphasize the division between the new guy and 'the old-timers', you also compare yourself to your boss, as if you are in the same league. Except he's the boss and you're not. That suggests you are not respecting his authority or his position as much as you should.
Perhaps instead of trying to escalate this conflict, you should try to start over. Let bygones by bygones. Cleanse your mind of all the past little slights, perceived or otherwise. Go in on monday with a commitment to respect your boss for no other reason than that he is your boss, and to be a team player. You'd be surprised what a little attitude adjustment can do to change how other people respond to you.
Documenting the way you are treated has nothing to do with being "Petty and Immature". Petty and immature don't hold a drop of water when your a$$ is in a sling with Human Resouces because the boss put it there. Without documentation to support your position, you're showing up to a gunfight with a plastic fork. I must have missed the part of your post where you disrespect your manager and have a bad attitude. Having a bad attitude and refusing to kiss a$$ are two totally different things. Do what you can do to make things right, but don't be a door mat. Be professional, courteous, etc. But don't let anyone blame you for someone else's behavior.
As someone suggested earlier, when you receive an assignment, ask for it in an e-mail. If you don't get one, then you generate an e-mail to your boss confirming what you understand the assignment to be, including due dates, etc. When it's completed, send him an e-mail confirming that you have completed it. I know it sounds tedious but it can make the difference between standing in line to cash your payroll check and standing in line to apply for unemployment benefits.
As a hiring manager in the private sector for many years, I have been on your side of the equation. The primary reason I'm still here and one of my former managers is my former manager is because I protected myself in that I was able to document a clear cut pattern of bias and unfair treatment. I'm still standing and the problem manager has been terminated in large part because once the investigation of his treatment toward me opened up, others came forward and provided evidence of his pattern of treatment toward them as well. Once that was clearly substantied, it was bye-bye a-hole manager. He was too much of a lawsuit risk to the company.
Last edited by SloRoller; 01-02-2011 at 12:08 AM..
I don't know if what you describe could accurately be called 'bullying'. He is your boss. It is within his right to question you on your attendance record and organization policy. Even if he is mistaken in his facts, he is still right to make the inquiry.
It sounds like you and the boss just don't quite gel. Something about you rubs him the wrong way so he nitpicks you, which rubs you the wrong way. It happens. Not everyone can get along with everyone. One thing is for certain, you are both a contributing part of the situation. You can't blame it all on him.
Sure you could document every little slight, and if you ever need to, produce this list. But it will just make you seem petty and immature. Instead, you might want to stop and consider how much YOU are contributing to this situation. You express a very 'us versus the new boss' and 'me versus my coworkers' mentality. Perhaps you are creating the adversarial atmosphere, or imagining one where it doesn't exist. You may be using a tone of voice or word choice or facial expressions that is making this guy feel defensive and the need to assert his authority. Paradoxically, while you emphasize the division between the new guy and 'the old-timers', you also compare yourself to your boss, as if you are in the same league. Except he's the boss and you're not. That suggests you are not respecting his authority or his position as much as you should.
Perhaps instead of trying to escalate this conflict, you should try to start over. Let bygones by bygones. Cleanse your mind of all the past little slights, perceived or otherwise. Go in on monday with a commitment to respect your boss for no other reason than that he is your boss, and to be a team player. You'd be surprised what a little attitude adjustment can do to change how other people respond to you.
I have never ever been anything but a team worker, I love my colleagues, i have even said in my post that it may be ME being paranoid, you have made me out to be a monster!! I am fully aware that this man is my Team Leader and I DO respect him so I do not appreciate what you have obviously assumed about me without reading my post properly. Suck up and shut up is that your attitude, ok Ill do that then let you know how I get on in 6 months time and let you know if your advice has worked, I wont be petty and keep logs etc!
Thanks to most of you, I have obviously upset the person I quoted above, had I have known I would not have shared my situation! I cannie understand why people assume that people that work under others, are automatically conflicting, I like to treat everyone the same. I do not 'not like' the bosses, but what I do not like is this 'I am the boss I am going to pick and choose who I treat in a certain way over a topic' Here is an example (not that I should have to explain myself): Xmas lunch, we had 2 hours right, he said I must put 12 till 2 on my flexi, no problem, I was intending to, he didnt have to tell me. The rest in my team have not ! No more questions.
I would most definitely document all these incidents. It sounds to me like, you being a long time employee you probably make a good salary. Someone else could be brought in to replace you at a lower rate. Don't think that can happen to you? Think again. You don't think someone higher up is in on it? Think again.
If you decide to speak with him directly about this, have HR call the meeting in their office with one of their staff present. Don't ever talk to him alone about anything except what you ate for dinner last night.
He could just be obnoxious but if I were you, I sure want to be safe than sorry.
I don't know if what you describe could accurately be called 'bullying'. He is your boss. It is within his right to question you on your attendance record and organization policy. Even if he is mistaken in his facts, he is still right to make the inquiry.
It sounds like you and the boss just don't quite gel. Something about you rubs him the wrong way so he nitpicks you, which rubs you the wrong way. It happens. Not everyone can get along with everyone. One thing is for certain, you are both a contributing part of the situation. You can't blame it all on him.
Sure you could document every little slight, and if you ever need to, produce this list. But it will just make you seem petty and immature. Instead, you might want to stop and consider how much YOU are contributing to this situation. You express a very 'us versus the new boss' and 'me versus my coworkers' mentality. Perhaps you are creating the adversarial atmosphere, or imagining one where it doesn't exist. You may be using a tone of voice or word choice or facial expressions that is making this guy feel defensive and the need to assert his authority. Paradoxically, while you emphasize the division between the new guy and 'the old-timers', you also compare yourself to your boss, as if you are in the same league. Except he's the boss and you're not. That suggests you are not respecting his authority or his position as much as you should.
Perhaps instead of trying to escalate this conflict, you should try to start over. Let bygones by bygones. Cleanse your mind of all the past little slights, perceived or otherwise. Go in on monday with a commitment to respect your boss for no other reason than that he is your boss, and to be a team player. You'd be surprised what a little attitude adjustment can do to change how other people respond to you.
There are some people in the workplace who are called Authoritarians. Those are people may not be in charge of anyone but they have a certain mindset that disables them from understanding the motive behind complex institutional behaviors. Authoritarians will always take the side of authority no matter what.
People like this see no evil, hear no evil. I don't care if you have a paper column six feet high of documentation. People like this, either within or outside of your organization are ALWAYS going to eventually construe everything as YOU being the source of the problem. They hear but do not listen to you.
I don't care if you have a video tape of the jack-booted thug treating you unfairly. Then the authoritarian is going to be saying something like: Maybe your were RESISTING admonishment from management. -Or, maybe you got into a SCUFFLE with management. Or, maybe you were FLEEING or RUNNING from your manager.
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