Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Hopes, has he considered welding? I know someone who didn't want to do college or anything like that and went to trade school for welding and makes a really good living.
I'll call the sheetmetal workers union and see if there is a demand in the area. I knew a welder when I was younger. He made good money but the jobs didn't last long. For example, a company would hire welders to complete a Boeing contract. Once the contract was completed, everyone would be laid off and have to find a job at another company. Based on what I know, it seems to be the type of career where you move from company to company constantly. But the sheetmetal worker's union provides the benefits---so moving around doesn't interfere with having health insurance.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ohiogirl22
Plumbing is good too also pipe fitting. Though both my grandfathers where so I might be a little partial.
Plumbing and pipe fitting are both very good careers. There's always a demand (at least in my area) because nobody wants to work with sh*t. He has talked about going into plumbing.
I just learned last night that this idiot excon is influencing him and talking down the trades. Gee, it could have something to do with the unions probably wouldn't hire him because he just got out of prison. I can't tell you how frustrated I am with this new excon development. He's a grown 27 year old man. I'm furious! I'm even more furious the kid brought this man to my house. MY HOUSE.
I haven't had a chance to talk to him about it yet. I gave him permission to sleep over his girlfriend's house. He came over to get his clothes for school and brought this excon along with him. THANK GOD I was outside in my yard with my dogs. I was able to prevent him from taking this man into my house by sending him in for his clothes and keeping the guy outside in the yard with me.
He broke one of my few rules for living here. He is only allowed to bring pre-approved friends to my house. People who aren't approved can't even pick him up here, he has to be picked up/dropped off at a parking lot a few blocks away.
The reason I made this rule is because he was hanging out with the wrong people---staying with a kid who steals. It's one of the main reasons I allowed him to move in here. I could see he was going to go downhill very fast out there fending for himself---the dredges of society were the only people willing to help him.
I knew this guy got out of prison two weeks ago. It's a relative of his girlfriend. How on earth did he think he could bring him to my house is beyond me! He needs everythig spelled out for him. I've told him he will get more freedom as he proves he is making smart decisions. Then he shows up with an excon!
I'm sorry for ranting. But these types of outside influences are a detriment to getting him on the right track and helping him have an education/career.
My co-worker's son paints custom murals in homes. Does a LOT of murals in nurseries, and has doen a few restaurants, too. Something he can do on his own if he's really talented until he gets thru school.
That's a nice way to earn money while in school. I doubt anyone would want his art on their nursery walls though. His art can be fairly morbid---typical for teenagers. After he has studied art, his vision will probably mature. But I guess there's a place in society for what he's doing now. I'm certainly not going to criticize his art. While I might not "get" it, it's his style and I can see it doing very well in the tatoo world.
Quote:
Originally Posted by AnnieA
All wonderful advice ! Given his background and abilities, he may make a couple of false starts. Bear with him, if you can. You sound like a great person.
That's a great reminder for me giving my experience last night with the excon. I behaved myself. I will calmly have a talk with him later today. I want to talk to hubby first. He doesn't even know about it yet because he was asleep. I want to have zero tollerance for breaking my rules (that are very liberal IMO), but I also want to give him a chance to understand my expecations for livng here. Hopefully he will comprehend that not bringing excons to my house is unexceptable and he'll never do it again.
Quote:
Originally Posted by AnnieA
In Central Fla, cad operators were not doing so well.
Quote:
Originally Posted by SOON2BNSURPRISE
Drafting and CAD are something that is fading as a good source of income. It can be done cheaper somewhere else.
After reading a few posts saying drafting is dead, this isn't a viable option. Thanks for letting me know.
Quote:
Originally Posted by SOON2BNSURPRISE
Here are a few industry organizations. They also have information on becoming certified.
With a certification or two he may not have to go to school. Still without a certification he could still find a job at a hospital or some other kind of facility.
Thanks for the links! I know his step father provided him with a nice life doing this for a living. Not sure if he'll be disenchanted with the idea due to the hard feelings.
I don't know much about trade jobs, but when I was reading your description I immediately thought about tattoo artists. My sister just got a tattoo and I'm always really impressed by how beautiful and artistic they can be.
It's too bad about the paid apprenticeship, though. Are you sure there's no other way? What if he applies to work (or maybe even volunteer?) at a good tattoo parlor that he likes doing something unrelated (like receptionist work) just to get a foot in the door, some connections?
I'm going to do my best to find a way for him to become a tatoo artist.
Quote:
Originally Posted by tuesdaygirl
In any case, good luck to you all....have you looked into programs like Job Corps or AmeriCorps NCCC? Something that would provide experience for his resume and discipline without needing any previous experience (and might even appreciate the difficult background).
I plan to look into job corps and americorps. Maybe something there will spark his interest. As long as he doesn't have to move out of town or doesn't have to stay in housing elsewhere in the city, he'll be open minded to it. We have some time to figure this out since he has full employment lined up for the summer.
One final thought... Don't discourage him. There are so many dreamy starving artist stories out there - and the more an adult pushes - the more artistic kids tend to dig their heels in. I remember being that age and swearing to anyone that would listen that I didn't care one bit about making money, I was an artist, and I wasn't going to be limited by their fear. At that age you're judged by your passion, not by how realistic you are - so expect to hear lots of "I don't mind starving" for my art stories!
So far I haven't discouraged him. I'm doing my research first. I don't want to confuse him with a billion options and most not being viable. And, honestly, I'll do whatever it takes for him to find a career that showcases his talents and interests. It just has to be a career he can support himself. He already learned that he can't be "the starving artist" via being homeless. He couldn't even feed himself let alone find a way to get himself housing.
Quote:
Originally Posted by bouncethelight
Very few artists are good at programming. Very different parts of the brain... Most of the programmers who claim to be good artists are actually really really boring artists. There's just not much overlap between the two!
As I suspected! Thanks for validating what I thought.
hi! check out this program....he'll get a stipend, internships with some major companies, and skills training AND UP TO 18 COLLEGE CREDITS after he's finished...its for people interested in IT however i think he should at LEAST try....making $15 an hour just to learn and get a leg up on competition is pretty great ... Year Up: Closing the Opportunity Divide
Illustration and advertising may be fields of study that appeal to him more than graphic design.
Those are great ideas. Especially illustration. I can't see him understanding the "selling" skills he would need in advertising. He has a hard time grasping figurative interprersonal concepts. But illustration is definitely something to look into.
Quote:
Originally Posted by kodaka
If he has artistic talent, I think it would a real shame to squash that and push him into a labor trade. And condescending as well--a former homeless kid can't aspire to anything more than physical labor???
Maybe you edited your post. I could have sworn that it said "a homeless kid can't go to college" when I first started responding to posts in this thread. Let me make one thing clear: he is welcome to stay her for as long as he needs to--as long as he follows our house rules. If he wants to go to college, I'll support that decision. He's not interested in a four year degree. He's not college material at this point in his life. His guidance counselor said he would do well in a trade school. I'm researching options for him to consider that will provide him with a way to support himself. He will ultimately make the decsion. I'll back whatever decision he makes as long as it puts him on a path towards being self sufficient.
Quote:
Originally Posted by kodaka
And maybe instead of steering the kid to what you 'see him in', you should let him find out for himself. Take him to a career day at a local university so he can see what graphic designers and other people do.
These things were done by his family. Of course, I will do these things with him too. I'm doing research to plan how to introduce him to ideas. If he had it his way, he wouldn't do anything at all. He's in la la land and just wants to have fun hanging out with his friends. Guess what? The friends he aquired while being homeless are theives, drug users and excons! One of the main criteria for being allowed to move into our house was to enroll in a program this fall.
Quote:
Originally Posted by kodaka
Just because you don't think he'd enjoy computer programs doesn't mean he won't be interested or actually be good at it. Lots of people turn out to be good at things they didn't know themselves and other people doubted.
He thinks going into game design means he will play computer games all day. I've known this kid for many years. He can't even play computer games without getting frustrated and needing friends to teach him how to do things. It's very tedious. He needs everything shown to him step by step, over and over again, before he gets it.
For game design, there are only two programs in my city: one at the art institute and one at CMU. He won't get into CMU--there's just no way in Hell he'd get accepted to CMU. He wouldn't last a minute if he did. The art insitute isn't highly respected in the real art community and losing respect in the gaming community. I've done my research on that. If it's where he wants to go, so be it. But he would have a better chance at success if he pursued an art degree at a university instead of the art institute.
Quote:
Originally Posted by kodaka
It's a shame to squash his dreams for yourself.
If I wasn't doing this for him, he'd end up working at McDonalds for the rest of his life.
So don't tell me I'm squashing his dreams. I'm trying to help him find a dream for goodness sake!
I just learned last night that this idiot excon is influencing him and talking down the trades. Gee, it could have something to do with the unions probably wouldn't hire him because he just got out of prison. I can't tell you how frustrated I am with this new excon development. He's a grown 27 year old man. I'm furious! I'm even more furious the kid brought this man to my house. MY HOUSE.
I haven't had a chance to talk to him about it yet. I gave him permission to sleep over his girlfriend's house. He came over to get his clothes for school and brought this excon along with him. THANK GOD I was outside in my yard with my dogs. I was able to prevent him from taking this man into my house by sending him in for his clothes and keeping the guy outside in the yard with me.
He broke one of my few rules for living here. He is only allowed to bring pre-approved friends to my house. People who aren't approved can't even pick him up here, he has to be picked up/dropped off at a parking lot a few blocks away.
The reason I made this rule is because he was hanging out with the wrong people---staying with a kid who steals. It's one of the main reasons I allowed him to move in here. I could see he was going to go downhill very fast out there fending for himself---the dredges of society were the only people willing to help him.
I knew this guy got out of prison two weeks ago. It's a relative of his girlfriend. How on earth did he think he could bring him to my house is beyond me! He needs everythig spelled out for him. I've told him he will get more freedom as he proves he is making smart decisions. Then he shows up with an excon!
I'm sorry for ranting. But these types of outside influences are a detriment to getting him on the right track and helping him have an education/career.
You are taking on a very tough task and I wish I could give you some encouragement. I took in a stepdaughter who'd been adopted by my late DH (that marriage had ended when she was 12 and DH wasn't bonded to her)...but the choice was between her spending the balance of age 15-18 in a juvenile detention center/foster care or us having her. Her history was awful and she hung with bad characters. We had reasonable house rules and we all went to family counseling initially. I am not sorry at all that we took her and I do think it impacted her short life (which ended at age 27) but it was just not possible in her case to find her a vocation that involved formal education b/c her motivation was not there. Combination of so much other garbage going on in her life and immaturity. Thing is, once they have learned to survive w/o a safety net for a few months they are not that fearful of being on their own and, at least in her case, did not value the security of having a home over the excitement of hanging with her friends. Google and watch TeenMom2 and look at Jenelle episodes...... Just prepare yourself. I do think getting him a marketable skill -- if he is willing --- is critical. I know an awful lot of young men (another nephew, my grandson - the son of the SD who died - even my own son at that age) who are into their music, writing, art, etc. I, myself, was into my writing at that age. It is a time of self-discovery and self-expression and most soulful teens will be displaying that side of themselves. Its useful to give them inspiration along their creative sides but not likely they will be able to make any kind of living applying those interests. A balancing act for you to use, honor and respect that side but steer him to a vocation that will help him towards self-support.
Combination of so much other garbage going on in her life and immaturity. Thing is, once they have learned to survive w/o a safety net for a few months they are not that fearful of being on their own and, at least in her case, did not value the security of having a home over the excitement of hanging with her friends.
I'm well aware because this is where he's at now. The only difference is that he does want a place to live. We made our rules liberal and simple because we knew it would be hard for him to adjust after being on his own for 5 months. He has a curfew (11am on weekdays and midnight on weekends) until he graduates from HS. In the summer, his curfew will be midnight. He must sleep at our house 6 nights a week (to get him stable since he slept at a different house every night while homeless). He is only permitted to bring pre-approved friends to our house. He will do his own laundry (which he did for the first time in his life yesterday and did a great job). Of course, he must work and support his own personal expenses outside of our providing him with food and a place to live. He must enroll in a program that starts this fall.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Squirl
I do think getting him a marketable skill -- if he is willing --- is critical. I know an awful lot of young men (another nephew, my grandson - the son of the SD who died - even my own son at that age) who are into their music, writing, art, etc. I, myself, was into my writing at that age. It is a time of self-discovery and self-expression and most soulful teens will be displaying that side of themselves. Its useful to give them inspiration along their creative sides but not likely they will be able to make any kind of living applying those interests. A balancing act for you to use, honor and respect that side but steer him to a vocation that will help him towards self-support.
You're right. This applies to him. Many teenagers are creative. That doesn't mean they're artists. The tell-tale sign is that this kid doesn't create art outside of school. If he has free time, he doesn't use it to create anything. If he can't be with friends because they are working, he'll play video games. This isn't a true artist. It's a kid with talent who doesn't have the motivation to pursue the talent. But since it's one of the few things he does like, I'm trying to match a solid career that might have an artistic side to it in order to inspire him to embrace pursuing the career.
Let's look at some key passages in this thread. I'll ignore the fact you bumped it every few minute for maximum exposure.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hopes
My family recently took in a young adult who turned 18 a month ago and is finishing his senior year of high school. He has been homeless for 5 months. We decided to allow him to live with us because we believe this is the only chance he will have to continue his education and become a productive member of society.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hopes
I'll call the sheetmetal workers union and see if there is a demand in the area. I knew a welder when I was younger.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hopes
I just learned last night that this idiot excon is influencing him and talking down the trades. I'm furious! I'm even more furious the kid brought this man to my house. MY HOUSE.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hopes
I gave him permission to sleep over his girlfriend's house.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hopes
He broke one of my few rules for living here. He is only allowed to bring pre-approved friends to my house. People who aren't approved can't even pick him up here, he has to be picked up/dropped off at a parking lot a few blocks away.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hopes
How on earth did he think he could bring him to my house is beyond me! He needs everythig spelled out for him. I've told him he will get more freedom as he proves he is making smart decisions. Then he shows up with an excon!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hopes
I'm sorry for ranting. But these types of outside influences are a detriment to getting him on the right track and helping him have an education/career.
Wow lady, you're some piece of work. First you pretend to be doing this kid a favor by taking him in, but in reality you are trying to mold him into what you perceive is the perfect person. Pre-approve his friends?? You must be kidding Does he have to pass blood, urine and police checks to remain in your household. You sound like a prison warden and a control freak.
Notice how it's all about how YOU feel. Nothing he and the "dredge" of society who actually stuck up for him do is good enough for you. Why don't you quit trying to "save" society and let him do what he feels is best for him. Quit all this analysis about what the best jobs are and what he should do. From what you've posted in this thread and in the past, you sound overbearing and frankly, misguided. Why not focus your time and energy on someone you can control? Yourself...
Wow lady, you're some piece of work. First you pretend to be doing this kid a favor by taking him in, but in reality you are trying to mold him into what you perceive is the perfect person. Pre-approve his friends?? You must be kidding Does he have to pass blood, urine and police checks to remain in your household. You sound like a prison warden and a control freak.
Notice how it's all about how YOU feel. Nothing he and the "dredge" of society who actually stuck up for him do is good enough for you. Why don't you quit trying to "save" society and let him do what he feels is best for him. Quit all this analysis about what the best jobs are and what he should do. From what you've posted in this thread and in the past, you sound overbearing and frankly, misguided. Why not focus your time and energy on someone you can control? Yourself...
It is HOPE's house and she gets to make the rules! He is an adolescent and it is the adult's job to guide and protect him. Thank goodness you are not a parent.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
