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That might not be a good idea if the company does outreach like sending employees to talk to school children or such. They may never ask you to and that may hurt your career with the company.
I'm guessing this would be the least of her problems if her boss is asking those types of questions.
I found out I was "unable to have children" at 24 years old. About 2 weeks later, I had a job interview and the Manager asked me about my family plan. It was still a very touchy subject with me, so even though it is unprofessional, I teared up a bit while I told her that I just found out I couldn't have kids. She responded with "that's good. I wasn't going to hire you because you are in your childbearing years, but this changes things". I was shocked, but I needed the job so I took it.
Amazing enough, 2 months later I got pregnant with my miracle baby. The manager (who has 2 kids btw) was not happy. Here I am having a baby that I was told I would not be able to have and she starts yelling at me for ruining her life. I found a doctor's office that could give me all night and weekend appointments so I wouldn't miss any work. The entire pregnancy, she made comments about how irresponsible I was for getting pregnant. One day I asked her how I was being irresponsible since I am married, have my own house, and can afford a baby. She complained that I was contributing to over-population. She has 2 kids! Anyways, unfortunately, I went in to labor 3 weeks early before work on a Monday. I went in to work and worked through my labor. I left work at the last possible moment. To make a super long story somewhat shorter, I had to have an emergency c-section and when my doctor told me I couldn't drive or work for 6 weeks to recover, she flipped out and fired me (while I was in the hospital with a 1 day old baby). Because it was a small office, what she did was legal.
I guess my point in this is to tell you that if she is that concerned now, she could make you really miserable if you do get pregnant. She sounds almost as crazy as my old manager. What you could do is gently tell her that you are not comfortable talking with her about it. If she continues, you can go to HR and tell them what is happening. It is definitely inappropriate for her to harass you like that.
My female boss has become more and more obsessed over if I'm going to get (or am) pregnant. She keeps dropping hints about being interested in my "family plan". I can't tell if she means this in a freindly way, or is trying to size me up? Usually after trying to "gently discover" if I'm pregnant (which I not), she will launch into a grandiose story about how she did not take ONE DAY of maternity leave with her kid, how she dropped him out on a Friday and was back in the office on a Monday. She can't understand "those women" who use babies as a way to get a vacation.
Is she trying to bully me into not having a kid? Its very awkward! Is this normal office chit chat, or is it out of line?
This is not normal, and it is out of line. What she's doing is also flirting with illegality - as someone else already pointed out, it's a sexual discrimination lawsuit waiting to happen. It unfortunately sounds like your boss is a woman of either low ethics or intelligence - maybe both. I'd just make it clear that this is not a topic for discussion and that if anything ever comes up that requires her attention, you'll promptly do so. But until then...it's really none of her business.
Look her in the eyes, use a calm voice, say "I really find this topic quite personal and will not discuss it with you or anyone on my job"
Then turn and go back to your desk. If she brings it up again, go talk to HR. Document the date and time you made that statement. Practice in front of a mirror.
My female boss has become more and more obsessed over if I'm going to get (or am) pregnant. She keeps dropping hints about being interested in my "family plan". I can't tell if she means this in a freindly way, or is trying to size me up? Usually after trying to "gently discover" if I'm pregnant (which I not), she will launch into a grandiose story about how she did not take ONE DAY of maternity leave with her kid, how she dropped him out on a Friday and was back in the office on a Monday. She can't understand "those women" who use babies as a way to get a vacation.
Is she trying to bully me into not having a kid? Its very awkward! Is this normal office chit chat, or is it out of line?
Oh! It just came to me. The next time she brings it up, just act really excited and say "Oh my goodness! Are you pregnant? I am so excited for you. When are you due? Do you know if it is a boy or girl? Maybe it will be twins! Do you have names picked yet? I really like the name Mabel, or maybe Gertrude. Oh, this is so exciting! Have you told everyone else? Come on, lets go tell them. Hey everybody..." You have to say all of this really fast and act like you are so excited that you can hardly contain yourself.
If she brings is back up later, do the same thing again. If that doesn't stop her, I don't know what will.
Oh! It just came to me. The next time she brings it up, just act really excited and say "Oh my goodness! Are you pregnant? I am so excited for you. When are you due? Do you know if it is a boy or girl? Maybe it will be twins!
Might not be a good idea especially if the boss is a bit overweight. Could be misconstrued as an insult.
Ask your boss if she has heard of the Family Medical and Leave Act or the Pregnancy Discrimination Act. Let her know that at this time you are not pregnant but she may want to read both of the act's just in case you decide to get pregnant, especially if your company has at least 15 employees. If your husband works for a company with 50 or more employees a husband can also take time off.
Pregnancy is considered a disability as the woman may not be able to do all the things that she was able to do before. Your boss needs to understand that being pregnant may also lead to the Americans with Disabilities Act.
Something she may want to know is that a violation of any of these acts can cost the company a lot of money. If you have an HR department you may want to let them talk to your boss about the acts, which are all Federal protections for you. All states support the law. Some states, like California, offer additional protections.
I would hate to be that woman's child. I highly doubt any doctor would encourage a woman go back to work 3 days after giving birth...
It sounds like she's bullying you...either to not have kids, or maybe to not take maternity leave? Either way, both are your rights to do so...choose any of the PC or not so PC responses provided previously and hopefully she stops.
It's amazing how many managers do not get the appropriate HR training these days. A few months ago, my boss asked me to help her interview a prospective hire. She said to ask them whatever questions I want. What????
I have a sister in HR and even I know there are certain questions that are an absolute no-no.
My female boss has become more and more obsessed over if I'm going to get (or am) pregnant. She keeps dropping hints about being interested in my "family plan". I can't tell if she means this in a freindly way, or is trying to size me up? Usually after trying to "gently discover" if I'm pregnant (which I not), she will launch into a grandiose story about how she did not take ONE DAY of maternity leave with her kid, how she dropped him out on a Friday and was back in the office on a Monday. She can't understand "those women" who use babies as a way to get a vacation.
Is she trying to bully me into not having a kid? Its very awkward! Is this normal office chit chat, or is it out of line?
If your "boss" is also the owner of the company then she has a very real and vested interest in knowing your maternity plans because it could cause a huge disruption and loss for her if you decided to take maternity leave.
Of course, if she did not wish to worry about this, she should have simply hired a man for the job, LOL.
If you feel that her questions are too intrusive, simply give her a big smile and tell her that when you decide to "drop a kid", she'll be the first to know.
20yrsinBranson
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