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I'm trying to do a transfer in the same company but different state do to health issues with my daughter . I have been telling my boss, if she could give me flexible hours so I won't have to be absent 1 or 2 times a month do to my daughters appointments but she always says no. So, I spoke to her and told her my daughters doctors told me it was the weather so I needed to transfer because its my daughter health we're talking about. She told me that same day to apply to the positions that where open in the particulate state, so I did. Now I'm been called from all around state with job offerings even higher position that I am right now, and when I pass the first 2 interviews they call her, and she tells them that I don't have flexibility and that my absences are a lot and they turn me down. When I confronted her she asked me to stay and I told her I couldn't. But now one of my co-workers that is also doing a transfer just because she wants to be closer to family, tells me that my boss told her " you won't have any problem but *****(me) I won't let her go, before she has a transfer I'll make her leave "
So I don't want to put my co-worker in a bad position, but I'm scared of talking to the HR because they say "it's strictly confidential" they always end up asking your boss if all thats true.
Your boss sounds very mean. However, maybe you could get a trusted neighbor or a taxi to get your daughter to her appointments. It's only a few times a month.
I've only been here for a year, single mother and my daughter's only 6 so honestly a neighbor and taxi is no option. And I need to know what the DR Says bout her condition. This is so frustrating
So potential managers calling your boss and hear this: before she has a transfer I'll make her leave " ....and they consider it a mark against you????? If that's the case, I really don't think the problem is solely with your boss. And it's because of that that I would be hesitant to recommend going to HR. It really sounds like there are bigger issues at play here.
Here's what I would do:
1. Go to HR about FMLA. Get the documentation necessary from the doctors. Then present it to your boss and remind her that absences covered under FMLA cannot be used against you in a performance evaluation.
2. Apply for jobs with other companies.
3. Mention the reason for your desire to relocate in the interviews--usurp your boss' ability to undermine your opportunities. Tell them you are relocating and that if/when you get your daughter to a better climate, you won't have to miss work like you do now. Then your boss' response only reiterates your suitability for the position, rather than undermining you.
I was thinking about taking a family medical leave, but I don't know. I have been sick myself and not even dared to not appear at work, and then she asks " why didn't you stay at home?"
I have done every possible thing under the employee handbook, like work flexibility but her answer is always the same, NO! Every time I come up to her and tell her something she always has to talk about what she gave up, or what she had to do in her past, practically not raising her children, but not even in 1 occasion has she mentioned her kids were sick. Sometimes I just wanna resign, but being the things as hard as they are right now in the job industry in general I can't take that risk, thats why now I'm just trying to do a transfer but it's kind of frustrating after a while.
I was thinking about taking a family medical leave, but I don't know. I have been sick myself and not even dared to not appear at work, and then she asks " why didn't you stay at home?"
I have done every possible thing under the employee handbook, like work flexibility but her answer is always the same, NO! Every time I come up to her and tell her something she always has to talk about what she gave up, or what she had to do in her past, practically not raising her children, but not even in 1 occasion has she mentioned her kids were sick. Sometimes I just wanna resign, but being the things as hard as they are right now in the job industry in general I can't take that risk, thats why now I'm just trying to do a transfer but it's kind of frustrating after a while.
SOOOO,move on to suggestion #3. Stop letting her be the one to announce to potential new bosses what your one drawback is. If you tell them in an interview that your initial interest in relocating is your daughter's health, then when they call and she mentions it, their answer will simply be 'yeah we already know about that and it's not a problem for us'.
But, I do think you need to consider that even if they know about your daughter AND they don't consider it an issue, that you still won't be hired. In other words ,that there were other reasons why you weren't chosen. Maybe you were a finalist, but you weren't their ultimate pick.
Your boss sounds like a real jerk. If she does have the authority to offer a flexible schedule, then she should try to work with you. I defintely understand why you want to be present at Dr. visits, afterall, this is your child's health. I would speak candidly with the Dr. about your work situation. Maybe the doc can recommend someone you can talk to, such as a social service org., that can connect you with whatever supports might be available or even counsel you on what to do.
In the meantime, I would be looking for a job that offers a flexible schedule.
SOOOO,move on to suggestion #3. Stop letting her be the one to announce to potential new bosses what your one drawback is. If you tell them in an interview that your initial interest in relocating is your daughter's health, then when they call and she mentions it, their answer will simply be 'yeah we already know about that and it's not a problem for us'.
But, I do think you need to consider that even if they know about your daughter AND they don't consider it an issue, that you still won't be hired. In other words ,that there were other reasons why you weren't chosen. Maybe you were a finalist, but you weren't their ultimate pick.
I would understand if that were the case but telling me in the final interview I'm going to call the store supervisor to see what day would be more convenient until she finds a replacement is kind of straight forward that the transfer's complete. Or am I mistaken?
Sorry, but this is a job...find another one. It does not matter what amount of money you are making here. You can find another job, with health insurance...your child is more important than any job. It sounds like your boss is a bully...I don't know your situation, but it is not worth it...you can find any other job with benefits, maybe one not as well paid, but getting away from the bully would be worth it. You will be able to get your career back on track when your daughter's health is not an issue.
Do the HR thing, do the FMLA paperwork...make your boss go along with it, while still looking for something else...then if she does anything that goes against this...take the issue to HR.
This job is not as important as your child.
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. I have been telling my boss, if she could give me flexible hours so I won't have to be absent 1 or 2 times a month do to my daughters appointments but she always says no. So, I spoke to her and told her my daughters doctors told me it was the weather so I needed to transfer because its my daughter health we're talking about. She told me that same day to apply to the positions that where open in the particulate state, so I did. Now I'm been called from all around state with job offerings even higher position that I am right now, and when I pass the first 2 interviews they call her, and she tells them that I don't have flexibility and that my absences are a lot and they turn me down. When I confronted her she asked me to stay and I told her I couldn't. But now one of my co-workers that is also doing a transfer just because she wants to be closer to family, tells me that my boss told her " you won't have any problem but *****(me) I won't let her go, before she has a transfer I'll make her leave 
" 
" they always end up asking your boss if all thats true.
