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I've lived away from home for a long time, but if my parents ever needed me, I would be there in a heartbeat. Generations ago, you did not send mom and dad into a nursing home. I don't know what has happened in our society, but parents made great sacrifices for us, and I think it's awesome that people like you are doing what it takes to help them stay at home. Nursing homes are death sentences, and I would never send a loved on to one.
Part of the problem is the kids are stressed to the max and are aging beyond their years do to the lack of prosperity. Im sure most people would not mind sharing space with their parents but probably are in no position to actually look after them since they are likely working 2 jobs to get by. Nursing homes are mainly for people that need constant attention that the kids simply can not provide because they are working, attending to kids, trying to keep their head above water, and when they get home they are exhausted.
It's no big surprise that a majority of people are stupid, is it ?
Even knowing that I would hope that people would be smart enough at least to consider birth control if they erased the child tax credits. At the very least. Sheesh.
I think you have to have health insurance to get birth control, but yea having tons of kids just makes your poverty problem worse. But I am all for having lots of sex just use the birth control.
The idea is for you (and every other hyper-adolescent) to NOT LIVE IN YOUR PARENT'S HOME ANY MORE! GO AWAY! LEAVE YOUR PARENTS ALONE!
God! You kids are so freekin' paranoid about taking on life on your own without mommy's and daddy's lifeline. Go out there and take on life's risks, without fearing failure. So what if you fail? Failing is part of life. When you fail, you get right back up, dust yourself off, and go back and do it again!
The parents are the other side of that equation and are more at fault for enabling that way of life. Back in the day, middle-aged folks would wax melancholically about the empty nest. I guess these parents today don't want to find out what that would be like.
I hate the whole stigma of people who still live at home in this country. Americans have such a screwed up sense of family, while all the while preaching "family values". In many places in Europe, kids, parents, grandparents, cousins, etc. often all live together for long periods of time. It's not uncommon for children to live with their parents into their 30s-40s.
Not all parents want to get rid of their kids, and not all kids have the means to leave depending on their location and career aspirations. I don't get this whole judgement mentality from people. What do you care what other family situations are? How does it affect you personally if some 20-30 year old lives at home, saving money, persuing their dreams?
The idea of living with that many people turns me off. Maybe it wouldn't be a big deal at some large estate out in the country. Where I live now, too many of my neighbors are like this and it creates crowding - that's why I care. These houses with 3-car garages and ample parking lots still have 5-7 cars parked at them - I kid you not! Their cars are parked in the garage, on their driveways, curbside AND on their front yard! Yuck.
Getting into a critical field is another. Put those two together and the chances are that you will not be denied a career anywhere you go.
Most fields are oversaturated. If anyone knows of a field that is not oversaturated that an unemployed teacher can transfer into, PLEASE let me know.
My particular field of work (i.e., power generation) is ALWAYS looking for able minded/bodied (mostly) men who are willing to do the required work. Unfortunately, in my 26+ years in the industry, I have never witnessed a surplus of staff or applicants although there's plenty of work to go around. I state all this to make the point that good jobs are out there. . .if you look hard enough and are willing to do the required work.
What about women? What are they to do? Sit around and die? You said that your profession mainly hires men, so what are women supposed to do?
And you're also correct when you state that people are tracked more easily now a days; that one misstep could ruin you. How do you get around that? Do the job you were hired to do to the absolute best of your abilities. If your overall performance is above what's required of you, one misstep will not hinder future opportunities.
Sometimes that doesn't always work. For example, let's say a school district is short a few million a year or so. Every older teacher has tenure. A young teacher will be the first laid off even if they are Teacher of the Year.
Several years ago I mentored two parentless teenage boys who were raised in group homes. Group home policy back then dictated that by the end of their 18th birthday they would be released from the system, and were no longer considered wards of the state. One of the boys I mentored joined the Navy where he spent the next 6 years. He is out now and has gone back to college. The G.I. bill is paying his educational expenses. The second boy got into the power generation industry. He's been in the field only 6 short years and is making over $90K/year. He is currently preparing to test for a position in the $120K to $150K range as a load dispatcher.
Inspiring story, but these two are more of an exception than what typically happens to a child with no parents. Often these kids turn to gang life and drug dealing for support.
These boys had no choice but to make it on their own, and they did. They grew up fatherless and motherless. Yet, they sought and found opportunities. They fought against the odds and made it. Like me, they are young men of color.
I don't know. I get a little tired of people who think adults who live with parents are lazy mooches who enjoy sitting around watching TV. Does anyone here enjoy living with parents? HELL NO!!!
I was DEVASTATED when I had to move back in with parents. I can honestly say that since moving in and enduring a hopeless job search, I have thought about suicide multiple times. I gave up a beautiful apartment and had to leave all my friends and the church I loved behind in Arizona to move back to Indiana. Needless to say, I have been back home over a year and can't seem to make friends here.
I live out of suitcases and boxes. I can't find anything. I miss my beautiful apartment that was organized and clean.
Plus, the constant pressure about my job search from my parents is hurtful. They keep asking what is wrong with me and I just can't take it anymore. I have applied everywhere in this God-awful place and can't even get a ****ty minimum wage job.
What would have happened to these people if there had been no home with Mommy and Daddy to go to? That is why I still think that parents are enabling their adult children. Not having that safety net makes you far more self reliant. And increases your self esteem, because you know you have to make it...no safety net there to catch you...
What would have happened to these people if there had been no home with Mommy and Daddy to go to? That is why I still think that parents are enabling their adult children. Not having that safety net makes you far more self reliant. And increases your self esteem, because you know you have to make it...no safety net there to catch you...
I agree with this for one important reason. When your out on your own, and there is no turning back, something changes in your mind. All those rules and boundaries are out the window. Those clear and paved paths that you are traditionally supposed to follow are meaningless. You start becoming resourceful, and pay a lot more attention to the world. If your smart, you start to think of atypical solutions to issues you may face.
When a problem arises, the easy answer is to move back in with the parents. When that is no longer an option, you find the next easiest answer, or perhaps answers. There are always other options, and chances to take. Moving back home is the most common solution because it's risk free and hassle free, compared to the chance of living on the street perhaps. Becoming independent of your parents is really not the first step to becoming a true adult, but probably the most significant.
I have had times in my life, where if I had parents to move home to, believe me, I would have, in a nanosecond. But, because I did not have those options, I had to make it on my own, and also with kids to support as well. So, that is when you really know what survival is all about, and you end up making it. It is not easy, but it can be done. I know, if I had a family to move home with, I would have, so I really can't put it down. Because, it would have been the easiest option. Instead, I had to make it work. And I did...no safety net means that you really have to hit the ground running when you are unemployed, that is for sure, and you don't mind literally begging for a job, which I did. Not "networking", begging and groveling friends to help you get a job. I even went to my church for help. I was really desperate.
Last edited by jasper12; 08-18-2011 at 08:34 PM..
Reason: edit
I coincide with a few of your points. Our's is definitely a dog-eat-dog society. Throughout my working years I've seen it over and over again. However, we don't all have to live by that rule. There are ways to survive outside of the dog-eat-dog mentality. Being highly qualified beyond denial is one of them. Getting into a critical field is another. Put those two together and the chances are that you will not be denied a career anywhere you go.
My particular field of work (i.e., power generation) is ALWAYS looking for able minded/bodied (mostly) men who are willing to do the required work. Unfortunately, in my 26+ years in the industry, I have never witnessed a surplus of staff or applicants although there's plenty of work to go around. I state all this to make the point that good jobs are out there. . .if you look hard enough and are willing to do the required work.
And you're also correct when you state that people are tracked more easily now a days; that one misstep could ruin you. How do you get around that? Do the job you were hired to do to the absolute best of your abilities. If your overall performance is above what's required of you, one misstep will not hinder future opportunities.
Several years ago I mentored two parentless teenage boys who were raised in group homes. Group home policy back then dictated that by the end of their 18th birthday they would be released from the system, and were no longer considered wards of the state. One of the boys I mentored joined the Navy where he spent the next 6 years. He is out now and has gone back to college. The G.I. bill is paying his educational expenses. The second boy got into the power generation industry. He's been in the field only 6 short years and is making over $90K/year. He is currently preparing to test for a position in the $120K to $150K range as a load dispatcher.
These boys had no choice but to make it on their own, and they did. They grew up fatherless and motherless. Yet, they sought and found opportunities. They fought against the odds and made it. Like me, they are young men of color.
Out of curiosity, what is it that you do in the "power generation industry"?
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