Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Not true at all. The only people you have to "accept as they are" and deal with are your family. And even then doesn't mean you have to socialize.
Nonsense. this applies to everybody, all know this.
Quote:
Work is work. Again some people have a hard time understanding you can be friendly and professional at work(as you should be) without hanging out with coworkers after hours.
I agree. I don't think anybody believes that being co-workers suggest being buddies.
Quote:
Many people who have great social skills prefer to keep work and personal life separate. They do volunteer work, or are in a sports league that has nothing to do with their job.
They don't want to see the same faces they see sometimes 50 or 60 hours a week. Doesn't mean they're anti-social.
They want a life free from anything associated with work.
Not a hard concept.
People can do as they please, it's a free world. Nonetheless, not knowing how to decline their invitation shows poor social skills.
What would you do if you didn't like people that you work with for more than 40-50 hours a week? And how can you relate to someone that is basically very toxic and like the OP said, says very toxic things about you behind your back. How is that lacking social skills? That is dealing with a very toxic person. Some people are basically just so toxic that most people can hardly stand to be around them. Why would you "suck it up" and try being a friend with them somehow? That's fake to me and I wouldn't put up a front like that.
I do try and go to at least a few social events even if I don't really want to just so I don't have a 100% anti-social label on me.
lol... so people management skills is learning how to handle toxic people.
Exactly. You should be "friendly" and polite at work, doesn't mean you need to hanging out after work.
And many people have shot themselves in the foot by going out and drinking with coworkers. They start discussing their personal business(like the status of their marriage or how they did drugs in college), or coworkers who aren't present are discussed, and it comes back to bite them later on.
Ever hear the expression "loose lips sink ships".
No one is saying walk around stone faced all day not talking to anyone.
But you don't need to base you social life on work, you're actually better off keeping them separate.
Just don't go to these social events unless you have to. I hardly every talk to my co-workers about anything but work. I find most of them obnoxious and I have hardly anything in common with them, so what's the point? I'm paid to do work, not be friends with my co-workers.
Just do your work and go home to the people you care about. Think of work as a means to an end (a paycheck) and nothing more.
If coworkers have something in common with me I will talk to them and become a friend. If they talk about dancing with the stars and their daughter's wedding I will shun them immediately!
If coworkers have something in common with me I will talk to them and become a friend. If they talk about dancing with the stars and their daughter's wedding I will shun them immediately!
Mine talk about the newest Iphone and flat screen tvs all day every day, and occasionally sports.
There is nothing sad about this. It is a proven fact that people are more productive when working in groups. The idea of the lone cowboy working independently is a myth. People who are friends, get along, and have fun with each other produce dramatically more than people who are anti-social.
Maybe so...but where are you going to find a workplace where everybody is friendly with each other?
Quote:
Originally Posted by hnsq
For the sake of the business, managers want people to be friends. That is a basic tenant of organizational behavior.
All managers? Who are you to speak for all managers?I've known plenty of managers whose strategy is to divide and conquer. The goal is to get everyone feuding with each other so they can maintain control over a group. Why do you think dysfunctional/toxic behavior is tolerated?
I recommend that you bark at random times but continue going about your business as though it's normal to do what you just did. If anyone should ask you why you bark just tell them that you can't help it. This will work. Kind of like Tourettes.
Once I attended an event that I didn't want to be at and disappeared. Later when I came back I was asked ,"where were you?!". I said "I was on my cell phone!" That seemed to be an acceptable excuse.
Update. Gave my 2 week notice due to a variety of things.
Please Lord don't let them invite me to lunch for my last day. They are fake as hell and don't want to have lunch with me. They want to be nosy and make me look anti-social in front of my boss (who is the only person I even like here)
Need an excuse for that....or I will probably just flat out say No Thanks.
Awkward much huh?
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
