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My company had an awesome retreat two years ago for all the managers, kind of a pressure-blowing session in Miami-Beach, during the retreat, we all had to come up with things as managers we wished we could LEGALLY do in the workforce, Il share some of mine, and would love to hear some fellow managers insights as well.
1. Get physical with employees.
I know it sounds bad, but how many times have you wanted to grab Joe or Jane by the scruff of the neck and slapped some sense into them?
I have an employee now, who thinks hes some sort of MMA fighter tough guy, and is a bit of a rebel, hes quite bigger than me, if I could legally in a position of management hit him without repercussions, id whoop him til he acted right!
2. Make overtime pay obsolete.
We have so much work to be done, since we have huge contracts, that we have a mandatory overtime schedule, 6 12s and every other sunday.
I wish we would just have to pay straight time, it would cut my man-hour dollars down drastically, and would enable me to push for 16 hour days.
3. Put trouble makers or slow movers in a " dunce cap " type punishment.
I would love for the entire production line to see someone wearing a sign that says " Im a turtle " or " I have a problem with authority " as a way to keep straight, that one was actually brought to me by an EMPLOYEE!
You are the most obvious troll I have ever seen on this board. You are very clever and coming up with posts that will cause folks to reply. Very good role playing.
I think you are probably an MBA student with time on your hands and you took the role of mean unreasonable boss with a big ego. It works well for getting lots of responses.
But in the end, you are not the cruel boss you are pretending to be. You simply created a mean boss character to role play on this board. Lots of folks fall for it and reply. And you get to continue with the role playing by replying. It amazes me that people actually reply with serious responses to a fake boss that really doesn't exist.
You are the most obvious troll I have ever seen on this board. You are very clever and coming up with posts that will cause folks to reply. Very good role playing.
I think you are probably an MBA student with time on your hands and you took the role of mean unreasonable boss with a big ego. It works well for getting lots of responses.
But in the end, you are not the cruel boss you are pretending to be. You simply created a mean boss character to role play on this board. Lots of folks fall for it and reply. And you get to continue with the role playing by replying. It amazes me that people actually reply with serious responses to a fake boss that really doesn't exist.
You are the obvious troll, Im simply trying to have a light hearted conversation with others in this forum and get insights into how people in positions of power think.
You on the other hand, follow me around thread to thread and incessantly accuse me of being a troll, an imp, a goblin etc.
Even though Ive done nothing but post my opinion on certain employment situations.
Please show yourself the door and enough with the nonsense.
You are the obvious troll, Im simply trying to have a light hearted conversation with others in this forum and get insights into how people in positions of power think.
You on the other hand, follow me around thread to thread and incessantly accuse me of being a troll, an imp, a goblin etc.
Even though Ive done nothing but post my opinion on certain employment situations.
Please show yourself the door and enough with the nonsense.
This is only the 2nd post where I "followed you" and EXPOSED you as being a troll. The last post there were several others that exposed you as a troll as well. I also got lots of reps from exposing you as a troll. It's the truth.
You are not really a mean boss. You are playing a role for this forum and it has stirred up a lot of people to reply to your posts. Classic troll in the literal sense. AKA...making up fake posts/role playing as a fake person to get people to respond. That's what I mean by troll.
This is only the 2nd post where I "followed you" and EXPOSED you as being a troll. The last post there were several others that exposed you as a troll as well. I also got lots of reps from exposing you as a troll. It's the truth.
You are not really a mean boss. You are playing a role for this forum and it has stirred up a lot of people to reply to your posts. Classic troll in the literal sense. AKA...making up fake posts/role playing as a fake person to get peopke to respond. That's what I mean my troll.
Again, are you even proof reading your nonsense?
Only two others " exposed " me as being a troll, and both were also just trolling.
And you got tons of rep for doing so... Wow, Im pretty sure you also include that in your resumes.
Like ive said, Im not trolling, its just that some of you miserable lot on here have an unrealistic expectation of business and managerial practice, and when someone such as myself and a few others comes along and gives our " mean boss " which in reality is REALISTIC BOSS insights, we get labeled this or that.
Now please, enough with this nonsense, either contribute to my thread with an idea, or show yourself the door.
NOBODY IS INTERESTED IN YOUR "IDEAS" because they are Victorian, misogynistic and unrealistic. Please stop wasting our time with your pointless posts.
No, you are not interested in my ideas because you are close minded, intolerant of opposing views and have difficulty accepting opinions contrary to your own.
Please stop wasting my time with your pointless intolerance and posts.
How about some ideas coming from the other end - for the folks that actually do the work:
Make the workplace a Democracy - the workers get to vote on who gets to be the boss. If said boss sucks, then he can be rotated out in the next election and another put in his (her) place.
Make the workplace a cooperative - the employees, all of them, share in the company's profits. Not much tolerance for lazy-butt managers that yack on the phone all day in the corner office - you're gone, baby.
Make overtime 100% voluntary. Allow employees to choose their own working hours. 4-7 weeks vacation a year. Loads of bennies.
You get the idea.
One other thing - since I don't have a job to get fired from, I'll do a bit of roleplaying and do what every beaten-down worker would love to do:
"*********, boss man!"
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Things I wish I could do as an employee
