So, help a lazy bum out with this career thing. (owner, degree)

[dub dub II]

Hi,
Getting straight to the point...I'm a bum. My very nature is to do nothing. If I could do nothing all day and get away with it, I'd be very happy. Unfortunately the world doesn't seem to work like that. It's a shame, really. But, I'll have to get over it. Either that or I'll die of starvation. I'd rather not die of starvation (my plan is lung cancer), so I turn to you to help me fulfill my dream of hacking up a lung when I'm around 75.

I hate waking up and going to bed at a set time. I like going to bed when I'm tired and waking up when I want to. This is actually very important to me.

For a bum, I like the finer things in life. Good food, going out, etc etc. A career that could enable me to do that would be awesome.

Something with an international bend would be awesome.

Perhaps helping people.

I'd like to think I'm decently intelligent. Something that allows me to demonstrate this to myself and others would be nice.

And, finally, I'm rather risk adverse. I don't like having to worry about not eating if I fail to do something...or if something I do fails.

Also, a quick rundown of what I thought I'd be doing when I "grew up".

Doctor
Physicist
Engineer
Lawyer
Doctor
Liberal Arts professor
Politician
Independent business owner.
Doctor

So, cd, which career endevour shall I fail miserably at next?

[dub dub II]

Also, when it comes to careers I've always had the nagging feeling that whatever I'll end up doing has been right under my nose the whole time. I'm just over-thinking everything to the point that I've hopelessly obscured the painfully obvious.

So is there anything painfully obvious about any of this over-thought mess that I find myself in?

[criminaljusticegrad]

You could devote yourself to being a medical research guinea pig. I think they pay between 600-10,000 dollars per experiment, and usually stays don't exceed 2-3 months.

[jane_sm1th73]

Dub, you're going to have to compromise on the self-scheduling thing until you get stabilized.
Beneath the veneer, I sense some desperation.

Rightly so. It sounds like you've been able to do your own thing for so long now, that it seems alien to you to follow a schedule. My advice, FWIW? (Remember - it IS free, lol!) REBOOT. Reset your metabolism so that you are grateful for the freedoms you DO have.

To this effect, join the Marines. Or the Army. Your life will be regimented for a set period. However, with your degree, you will be kept out of a shooting war. They are actually very good about preserving their assets. For four years, you will follow a schedule and have your needs taken care of - roof, food, companionship.

When you get out, you will have had your system rebooted. You will be able to reintegrate into society. Not that you WANT to reintegrate, it's just now it seems so alien that you can't imagine yourself doing it.

If you decide not to re-enlist, and come back into the world, having two hours a day to call your own will be the height of luxury. You may actually like the military life and want to stay in. If you really, really believe you are not cut out for anything, the best thing to do is to keep your head low, follow orders (at least you won't have to overthink things), and put one foot in front of the other for twenty years. Then you will have a small pension and won't have to worry about starving.

We really are talking about starvation here, aren't we? I feel for you. But this malaise is not something you can bootstrap yourself out of. You've lost the skills for it.

So. Get yourself to your local recruiter's office. But for heaven's sake, do yourself ONE favor - talk the high road. Sense of purpose, want to be part of the remaking of America, that kind of thing. Do NOT say that you want to enlist because you are a slacker. Or they will not put the effort in to keep you out of the middle of the shooting war.

That is my best, and my heartfelt advice. I'm sorry your life has devolved to this, when you don't have the means to indulge your preferences.

Best wishes to you.

[dub dub II]

Anyone, expound on the following.

Originally Posted by jane_sm1th73

Beneath the veneer, I sense some desperation.

Rightly so.

We really are talking about starvation here, aren't we? I feel for you. But this malaise is not something you can bootstrap yourself out of. You've lost the skills for it.

That is my best, and my heartfelt advice. I'm sorry your life has devolved to this

Also, thanks.

[Hopes]

The sleep schedule thing isn't a big deal. You'll get up for work when you have to. My husband used to say that our children needed to practice getting up on a schedule so they'd be able to hold down jobs. I disagreed. My parents didn't make us get up on a schedule and I easily adjusted when I started working. And our children ultimately went out into the world without a sleep schedule and adapted instantly---never being late even once.

I'm not even going to consider your "fireman" list of possible careers. You know, what kids say they'll do when they grow up. Give us some useful information about yourself. What are your interests? What are your hobbies? What do you do in your spare time? Do you have any passion about any issue? Are you personable and outgoing? Are you quiet and introverted? What subjects did you enjoy most in school? Seriously, give us something of substance to work with here.

In the meantime, while you are figuring out what you want to do with your life, you should consider something to transition you into maturity. Instead of the military, why not go on a mission trip. It's international. It's helping people. While you're living out there helping people in a third world country, you'll gain an appreciation and possibly a light bulb will go off.

[AJBarney]

Originally Posted by dub dub II

Hi,
Getting straight to the point...I'm a bum. My very nature is to do nothing. If I could do nothing all day and get away with it, I'd be very happy. Unfortunately the world doesn't seem to work like that. It's a shame, really. But, I'll have to get over it. Either that or I'll die of starvation. I'd rather not die of starvation (my plan is lung cancer), so I turn to you to help me fulfill my dream of hacking up a lung when I'm around 75.

I hate waking up and going to bed at a set time. I like going to bed when I'm tired and waking up when I want to. This is actually very important to me.

For a bum, I like the finer things in life. Good food, going out, etc etc. A career that could enable me to do that would be awesome.

Something with an international bend would be awesome.

Perhaps helping people.

I'd like to think I'm decently intelligent. Something that allows me to demonstrate this to myself and others would be nice.

And, finally, I'm rather risk adverse. I don't like having to worry about not eating if I fail to do something...or if something I do fails.

Also, a quick rundown of what I thought I'd be doing when I "grew up".

Doctor
Physicist
Engineer
Lawyer
Doctor
Liberal Arts professor
Politician
Independent business owner.
Doctor

So, cd, which career endevour shall I fail miserably at next?

Have you considered a job with the current Administration? Sounds like you'd fit right in.

[joe from dayton]

Your personal desires really don't jive with any of the careers you listed, especially considering the amount of time needed to attain the education to enter the field/s in the first place. Lazy people don't go to professional schools. Perhaps you can get a job at the local car wash? A pizza delivery job will also probably let you sleep as late as you want.

[vgandjsmom]

You could write a book... however you would have to have some kinds of means to support yourself while you do and it and be able to live with no guarantee that you would ever sell a copy once you were finished..

Or donate blood. A lot.

Or contract an uncurable illness that allows your permanent disability.

Otherwise, I think you might have to at least give on the sleep thing.

[Hopes]

Originally Posted by joe from dayton

Your personal desires really don't jive with any of the careers you listed, especially considering the amount of time needed to attain the education to enter the field/s in the first place. Lazy people don't go to professional schools. Perhaps you can get a job at the local car wash? A pizza delivery job will also probably let you sleep as late as you want.

He is finishing his bachelors with a 3.2. He is functioning above lazy. Lazy is just his desire, not his reality.