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I just started this job in Jan 2012 after being laid off back in April 2011 and working temp jobs during the summer.
Background on me - i am shy, quiet , socially awkward male who suffers from social anxiety. (AKA - The weird guy at work.) In just about every job that i have had i usually have a couple of people who just hate me for no reason.
I work in a small office and i get the feeling that my co-workers are not taking a liking to me. I usually answer the phone and lately, a lot of recruiters have been calling the office. Am i being paranoid?? I hate this feeling.
You really need to think long and hard about this. Why would people hate you for no reason at multiple places?
It could be that his akwardness and shyness is being read by others as arrogance or being aloof.
Im not akward, but I dont talk or interact with others much, nor do I really participate in activities, and I never participate in the office gossip pools, and I have had a number of people over the years not like me for any real reason.
Some people will just make up an opinion or judgement on you without you actually doing anything to them.
In a lot of workplaces the perception of an employee's "fit" is nearly as important as their work performance.
However, they usually at least establish a paper trail of warnings, conversations, etc. before they get around to firing someone. Have they done that here?
OP, are you happy at this job? Is it a place you want to be? If not, then I would let it go and not be concerned about what the others think. Ultimately, you need to find the job situation that is right for you. If you want to try to save it, then make some effort to get to know the others in some small way. You have a choice and can change things either way.
Have you tried counseling? Basically a person should be able to work at a job without having to socialize with the other employees, but unfortunately that is not the way things work.
Counseling can teach people to turn enemies into friends or "disarm" them.
Another thing which can help is "Cultural Awareness Training". This is intended to teach employers and their staff about certain things foreigners expect or might be offended by at work... But the class I took also discussed cultural norms that Americans expect at work from their co-workers.
Check your local university or college. Also some psychology classes can help you to learn about other people. Everybody is different. If you can learn what makes certain people "tick", then it is MUCH easier to deal with them!
As for worrying if you are going to be fired or not... Is there anything you can do about this right now? I think not. The above things take time. Anyway I say why worry about something you can't do anything about? Just do what you can, then if nothing more you can do, that is that! Go out and have fun. Forget about it. Nothing more can be done.
It could be that his akwardness and shyness is being read by others as arrogance or being aloof.
Im not akward, but I dont talk or interact with others much, nor do I really participate in activities, and I never participate in the office gossip pools, and I have had a number of people over the years not like me for any real reason.
Some people will just make up an opinion or judgement on you without you actually doing anything to them.
This is my husband's issue. He keeps to himself. He needs a lot of quiet and uses his breaks and lunch for that. People assume he is stuck up or aloof. He is not.
There are many people with autistic tendencies who need quiet. They are not stuck up or aloof. They may just not relate to a lot of people easily.
In a lot of workplaces the perception of an employee's "fit" is nearly as important as their work performance.
However, they usually at least establish a paper trail of warnings, conversations, etc. before they get around to firing someone. Have they done that here?
If he's in a 90-day probationary period, they don't have to.
I just started this job in Jan 2012 after being laid off back in April 2011 and working temp jobs during the summer.
Background on me - i am shy, quiet , socially awkward male who suffers from social anxiety. (AKA - The weird guy at work.) In just about every job that i have had i usually have a couple of people who just hate me for no reason.
I work in a small office and i get the feeling that my co-workers are not taking a liking to me. I usually answer the phone and lately, a lot of recruiters have been calling the office. Am i being paranoid?? I hate this feeling.
If you think they're going to let you go, you might be right. It is an unfortunate reality that corporate America values extroversion to a fault, and many workplaces prize the untalented, slacking loudmouth over the gifted, diligent introvert. You'll have to find a way of addressing your anxiety if you don't want to keep running into this problem. No one is saying you have to be a social butterfly, but you will need to learn how to be cordial and approachable, and you will need to master the art of small talk, however useless or soul-sucking you, as an introvert, may deem it. In other words, once you get rid of the emotional disorder, you'll probably still be a quiet person, and you'll need to figure out a way to balance that with your work and environment. Indeed, I question why you are in a line of work that requires answering phones.
Or you could get sick of playing the game, as I did. Oh, I was successful at it--as long as I worked in positions where my boss understood how lucky he or she was to have autonomous employees. Smart bosses who manage writers know that writers need large chunks of quiet, uninterrupted time. But nowadays, micromanagement seems to be the Way of the White Collars, and the constant unnecessary interaction and exposure to content-free speech at my last day job not only sucked the life right out of me, it interfered with my ability to get my work done--which of course, was then seen as my fault.
So I quit, and now I work at home, for myself. I still talk to a lot of people on the phone, but the discussions are scheduled in the form of interviews for articles. Every interaction has a purpose, and I'm not called upon to be Ms. Congeniality at random intervals.
Point is, even if you get over the social anxiety and you end up a healthy, well-adjusted introvert, you might still need to find work that is more suitable to your temperament.
I'm just wondering if they've ever actually said anything to him that there's a problem with his work performance. The recruiters calling could be bad, or it could not mean anything.
Small offices can be tough for introverts.
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