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Old 04-24-2012, 05:43 PM
 
2,293 posts, read 2,556,143 times
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I had a guy come up to me today at work and tell me that he likes me because I am nice to everyone. I started thinking back on all of my office jobs and how there has always been just one or two truly kind, respectful people that I have worked with. You know, the kind of person who is always considerate and jumps at opportunities to help out.

Looking back, I have encountered many managers who openly mock and belittle their subordinates over the least little thing, often publicly. I have overheard managers talking to people like they are three year olds. It's not just management that acts this way either. If someone is different in any way or is quiet and keeps to himself, bands of co-workers will gang up on that person and badmouth him/her and just treat him like garbage. People have no respect for each other. I've encountered this firsthand at most of my jobs. I always keep a low profile and quietly do my work, and people hate me for it. I overhear all sorts of nasty comments about me and they wonder why I ignore them.

I figure I'm just there for a paycheck and if they don't like me because I silently do my work all day and don't play their games, then so be it. Reminds me VERY much of high school. College was nice because people were mature and supportive for the most part. Since entering the corporate world, I feel like I'm back in high school. >(
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Old 04-24-2012, 09:31 PM
 
Location: Brooklyn,NY
7,108 posts, read 5,259,675 times
Reputation: 9361
Quote:
Originally Posted by statisticsnerd View Post
I had a guy come up to me today at work and tell me that he likes me because I am nice to everyone. I started thinking back on all of my office jobs and how there has always been just one or two truly kind, respectful people that I have worked with. You know, the kind of person who is always considerate and jumps at opportunities to help out.

Looking back, I have encountered many managers who openly mock and belittle their subordinates over the least little thing, often publicly. I have overheard managers talking to people like they are three year olds. It's not just management that acts this way either. If someone is different in any way or is quiet and keeps to himself, bands of co-workers will gang up on that person and badmouth him/her and just treat him like garbage. People have no respect for each other. I've encountered this firsthand at most of my jobs. I always keep a low profile and quietly do my work, and people hate me for it. I overhear all sorts of nasty comments about me and they wonder why I ignore them.

I figure I'm just there for a paycheck and if they don't like me because I silently do my work all day and don't play their games, then so be it. Reminds me VERY much of high school. College was nice because people were mature and supportive for the most part. Since entering the corporate world, I feel like I'm back in high school. >(
They are on a power trip, and NOT managing. A good manager should be fair, And coaching and motivating the team/associates to success, This does not mean being Mr. popular and the "nice guy." Fair and balanced. Many just stop growing and resort to micromanaging and other nonsense. Sitting on facebook and giving nonconstructive criticism to increase the size of one's ego is not being a manager. I encountered this in retail years ago and became a DM eventually myself. it was not easy, but I learned a lot by watching others.


I no longer manage, But also keep a low profile but am always available to help out for the greater good, I work in a hotel and am fortunate I have great relations with all. I hear of strife in other departments but they are contained and i don't follow the rumor mill.
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Old 04-24-2012, 09:38 PM
NCN
 
14,085 posts, read 12,292,731 times
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I remember once having a boss like the belittling one you mentioned. She even treated her husband and daughter like that too because I heard her conversations on the telephone to them. Many of her employees "brown-nosed" her so they would not be her target, but I guess I felt it wasn't worth it.

She pulled me out one day and mentioned that I was not a team player. I told her that the team she was running was a JV team and it was a little hard for a Professional team player like me to fit in. I told her when they got up to my level of playing we would all get along just
fine.

Later she was fired for not doing her job and I retired a few years later.
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Old 04-25-2012, 04:20 AM
 
Location: Seattle, Washington
879 posts, read 360,487 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by statisticsnerd View Post

I figure I'm just there for a paycheck and if they don't like me because I silently do my work all day and don't play their games, then so be it. Reminds me VERY much of high school. College was nice because people were mature and supportive for the most part. Since entering the corporate world, I feel like I'm back in high school. >(

And that's how it is... where I work is no different. You have the standard ass kissers and cry babies as well as the know it alls and morons. Lets not forget the flat out lazy people and/or those with a poor work ethic.

To repeat what I said in an earlier similar thread... I'm there for the $$$, not to make friends. You don't like me? That's fine... just don't #*$& with me.

Deal?
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Old 04-25-2012, 06:45 PM
 
513 posts, read 408,779 times
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Tell you what I can't stand...peer-level co-workers who are cocky and arrogant and conduct themselves as if they have authority. I have worked in various offices over time and it seems that in every situation I have been in, that there is that one co-worker who the manager seems to have some kind of affinity toward, who is treated not as a subordinate, but a peer.

I cannot comprehend this kind of conduct, because if I were a manager, I would treat all those reporting to me with kindness, fairness, and respect, but not cross over that line and give some of my reports the sense that one of them is my "assistant manager".

I work with someone like that right now, and sometimes this person acts like they run the place. It makes me furious.
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Old 04-25-2012, 06:49 PM
 
644 posts, read 515,996 times
Reputation: 487
Quote:
Originally Posted by TRC2k11 View Post
And that's how it is... where I work is no different. You have the standard ass kissers and cry babies as well as the know it alls and morons. Lets not forget the flat out lazy people and/or those with a poor work ethic.

To repeat what I said in an earlier similar thread... I'm there for the $$$, not to make friends. You don't like me? That's fine... just don't #*$& with me.

Deal?
This is my attitude, but to some employers it could be a negative sign.

A lot of employers will take it as, "Oh you are not sociable enough." "You have a bad attitude."

I'm just the type of person where sure I'll be polite, professional, and be cordial with people I work with, but going as far as trying to be best friends with you? No. I'm there to do what I'm supposed to do and get money...end of story.

At the end of the day, most people where I work at are not my kind of people to hang out with anyway.
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Old 04-25-2012, 06:54 PM
 
644 posts, read 515,996 times
Reputation: 487
Quote:
Originally Posted by NCN View Post
I remember once having a boss like the belittling one you mentioned. She even treated her husband and daughter like that too because I heard her conversations on the telephone to them. Many of her employees "brown-nosed" her so they would not be her target, but I guess I felt it wasn't worth it.

She pulled me out one day and mentioned that I was not a team player. I told her that the team she was running was a JV team and it was a little hard for a Professional team player like me to fit in. I told her when they got up to my level of playing we would all get along just
fine.

Later she was fired for not doing her job and I retired a few years later.
I feel like I need to speak up more at work about how I'm being treated because I don't appreciate some of my coworkers telling me what to do or talking to me as if I came off the short bus from school.

I'm not a very talkative, chatty Kathy sort of person, so some take it the wrong way and sometimes even try to take advantage of me and that's what I feel like they are doing at work.

One of the executive team leaders embarassed in me the in store one day by getting smart with me and raising his voice at me across the sales floor. I didn't feel too good after that.
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Old 04-25-2012, 06:55 PM
 
2,293 posts, read 2,556,143 times
Reputation: 5046
Quote:
Originally Posted by B.B.C.420 View Post
This is my attitude, but to some employers it could be a negative sign.

A lot of employers will take it as, "Oh you are not sociable enough." "You have a bad attitude."
Yeah, I've gotten the "you need to be more of a team player" talk before, all because I concentrate on my job and don't bother gabbing with my co-workers. One lady at my old job even asked me point blank "do you have any friends?" with this nasty look on her face.
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Old 04-25-2012, 07:56 PM
 
51 posts, read 48,391 times
Reputation: 90
The only reason they want to "pretend friend" you is so that they have ammunition to talk about you with. I am in the same place, I wouldn't dream of working with these folks if not for a paycheck.
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Old 04-25-2012, 08:24 PM
 
644 posts, read 515,996 times
Reputation: 487
Quote:
Originally Posted by statisticsnerd View Post
Yeah, I've gotten the "you need to be more of a team player" talk before, all because I concentrate on my job and don't bother gabbing with my co-workers. One lady at my old job even asked me point blank "do you have any friends?" with this nasty look on her face.
That's such crap. You don't have to be a such a chatty Kathy to become a team player.

I've been through that also. It's just not in my nature to just rattle off about nonsense in a new environment. I'm an observant person and when I'm in a new environment it's not smart to act like everybody is your friend or act like you known all these people all your life.

Also I know at my job being a team member is huge, but when nobody wants to listen to what you have to say or they ignore you, then there's not much you can do.
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