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Old 05-25-2012, 03:45 PM
5,507 posts, read 8,996,665 times
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Originally Posted by Randomdude View Post
Sometimes its in the middle, but often its nothing but luck, while its almost never nothing but raw determination.

Guys like Shawn Bradley, Gheorge Mureson, and Manute Bol, are (or were) millionaires because basically they grew to 7'5+. Dispite practically being able to stand on the floor and dunk, none of them had any particuliarly decent basketball skill at all (Bradley was more famous for getting "posterized" by much smaller opponents dunking on him), outside of blocking shots, which was more a side effect of their size.

There are countless CEOs who are millionaires right now because they inherited the job, and there are countless millionaires who never worked a day in their life.

However, youll almost never find the guy who came to work every day, and did his best amongst those ranks. That guy will toil away for years, possibly get to middle management if hes lucky enough not to be laid off and experience bouts of career destroying unemployment, and retire without the slightest of sounds.
This is your typical defeatist attitude. Just because you are doing worse than most college grads doesn't mean you can conclude everyone is like you. The data just doesn't back it up.
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Old 05-25-2012, 11:10 PM
Location: Up North
3,404 posts, read 7,243,291 times
Reputation: 3035
Originally Posted by starhawk18 View Post
What a great message thread. I'm 26 years old and I realized that I wouldn't be able to live out my dreams when I was 23 years old. Instead of a mid-life crisis, I had a "quarter-life" crisis. When I was in highschool I formed my plan. I was going to attend college and graduate with a bachelor's of accounting degree and possibly pursue a CPA license. I wanted to work in the accounting field and make a decent salary with benefits a few perks. I wanted to be able to travel for my summer vacations, own a home or a condo, and a nice car.

However, that never materialized. I attempted college twice. The First attempt was at a local private college which I attended for a year (2003-2004). Big mistake, I owe $12k in student loan debt. The second attempt was at a local community college in 2009. I enjoyed the course work and my grades were great.

However, my problem is a financial one. My mother is a single parent of two children (my sister and I). She never went to college and was only a HS graduate. I started working at the age of 14 and I've been supporting my family ever since. My mom never made enough money to fully take care of the household so we live paycheck to paycheck. Even as I type this I make more money at my ****ty customer service job than my mom or my sister does so my income is the core of my family surviving at this time. If my mother was financially able to support me during my "college" years, I could have devoted my life to getting a degree instead of worrying about bills, evictions, or the car breaking down. Living paycheck to paycheck is like living on an edge of a cliff with a knife at your throat.

I'm a single guy with no children but because my mom and sister don't earn enough on their jobs to keep the household afloat, I feel like I inherited a "broke family" that's somehow my responsibility to help take care of.
Maybe your mom should find a job like yours since it seems to pay more and is entry level?

Anyways, I myself am studying accounting and could barely afford college before I transferred to Boston College. I was working full-time bartending to pay my own way, and also helping my mother but certainly not supporting her. More like helping out with the condo fee.

I am not religious, but I have learned that traditional Catholic colleges have great scholarship and grants available for students that show real drive and ambition. Allumni who were helped out when they were students and Catholics dump $ into this like a Catholic charity. If you are accepted to one (I recommend the evening programs where they are used to working with working adults) you can actually talk to real live Jesuits who care and are all geniuses.

If you are an accountant or a serious professional you will be able to help support your family even more. I think it would be worth the sacrifice of applying to evening programs and the entire household moving if it meant in 4 or 5 years you could acheive your goal and also give your family a better life. My mother can barely afford to support me in Boston, but I know and she knows once I'm a CPA I will do whatever I need to do to make sure she and I live much better than we have been over the past 6 years.

This will sound strange but apply to one or two by mail or e-mail but include a handwritten letter stating your goals, dire situation, how much you want to be in college but that you cannot do it alone and hope to one day be successful and give back to the college. Maybe even ask your mother to write a short letter about how she know you work so hard and have always wanted to go back to college, etc. Jesuits are amazing and practice what they preach, and from what I hear still communicate much through handwritten letters. I would have never thought it was possible for myself to go to a school like Boston college and have financial assistance as well.

No matter what you do, don't give up. I know what it is like to feel left behind by the system, and there are plenty people out there in great colleges at all ages

PM me if you have any questions

Originally Posted by Oleg Bach View Post
In ancient times if you had ADHD- You would have been a tribal leader and made the people prosper..now if you have the ability to omni-focus and great surges of energy they want to shut you down- The corporate world does not want the exceptional..they want the mediocre - they need dull people to make the wheels turn.

It bothers me when they take great and exceptional kids and adults and want to bring them down to the level of average..Our educational system is not made to deal with those capable of greatness..it is capable of stunting - frustrating and instilling self doubt in the exceptional...As John Wayne wrote to Barbara Walters in the old days "Don't let the bastards get you down"
I feel the exact same way. I don't think I have ADHD, but I could never sit still in a classroom. Even today, I have to eat sometimes throughout and entire class just to be able to pay attention. Chocolate bars, chips, cheese snacks. Its a good thing I go jogging.

Its unfortunate that people give their kids drugs to make their jobs easier.
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Old 05-26-2012, 09:37 AM
Location: Out West
20,493 posts, read 15,379,865 times
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Originally Posted by Oleg Bach View Post
About 50 years of age - I realized that the supposed opportunity that existed was limited to non-existent. I came to the realization that people where overly competitive and were cut throat and would do what ever it takes to get ahead- Lie - cheat - steal - con- commit fraud ...bring harm to others on mass- also that there was no real democracy or real justice system.

Put bluntly- I totally lost faith in the system and figured out "what's the point?"-----------no only did I quit trying..I* quit believing in humanity when it comes to money and status-------------------My only regret was that I was trusting as a young person- IF I would have known the world was so corrupt..I would have taken the money by hook or by crook- made a bundle and abandoned the whole stupid game.
This. This is what killed my dreams. Exactly this. I was way, way too trusting when I was younger, I was extremely naive, I had faith in people that they were honest and upstanding...boy was I wrong.

It would take awhile to explain HOW all of this affected my goals but it most certainly did. Once someone puts a stop to your momentum, it is very difficult, (not by choice, by things you cannot control), to build that back up again. I spent many years just trying to get back to that momentum and, because I was so naive and too trusting, I got beat down every time.

In answer to the OP, what were my dreams? I wanted to continue on with school, I wanted to get a Masters. I wanted to do something in the field of biology AND oceanography AND zoology as well as meteorology; study ocean life was my number one and that included not just ocean life but also the weather patterns as well and anything ocean related.

Basically, what I wanted was to put four things together:

I wanted to study ocean life.

I wanted to study weather patterns and their affect on ocean life, the tides, shores, etc.

I wanted to photograph it all, (that would be for my extremely creative side...as you said, not all of us can be actors/singers/artists..which would have been cool, too, so photography would have been an outlet for my creativity).

And I wanted to write about it all. (Again, for my creativity.)

Even if I had to struggle to get in to that, I would have had all that science to fall back on and find good jobs in any of those fields.

I don't have the means, at this time, to go back to school and earn a Masters. I haven't in a very long time. I should have had at least 10 years of experience doing what I wanted to do, by now, with a Masters.

Where I am now? SO NOT what I had planned.
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Old 05-26-2012, 09:51 AM
Location: USA
7,456 posts, read 5,435,126 times
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Yep, I was a stupid believer in the system, too. Every time some twit or moron screwed me over as a reward for doing the right thing, I believed the hype that said, "it will get better" or "keep working - eventually, you'll do great and their actions will catch up with them." Yeah, right!

I worked for 10 years at a criminally incompetent corporation, and despite exceeding all performance standards on a regular basis, they laid off people like me while keeping total morons and thugs employed. Heck, I even got a performance-based raise a few months before they let me go - yeah, that makes sense?!

It's all about who you know and who's rear you're kissing. Nobody cares about your talents or abilities (though they'll give lip service to this when *excluding* you from a job - and then they'll turn around and hire the boss's daughter based on her looks.) It doesn't get better, and idiots and criminals are always able to bully themselves into positions of power; what's more surprising is how many people are okay with this. I've never met a moron or thug who doesn't have a fan club who is gleefully detached from reality and who will say or do anything to protect the nitwit in question even though they get nothing out of it.

It's brutal out there.
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Old 05-26-2012, 11:52 AM
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Why are some of you continuing to work at horrible companies for years? Sure it's hard right now and the last couple years but there was no excuse before the recession to not find another place to work.
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Old 05-26-2012, 12:03 PM
19,081 posts, read 21,176,263 times
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Interesting conversation. Like others I've wanted to be all kinds of things in my life and I've achieved a few of them. But, what I've learned is that things aren't as I thought they would be because I really didn't understand the details of a given professional goal until I was achieved it. Everything in life has been like that for me. So, I've pared down my expectations.
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Old 05-26-2012, 12:36 PM
Location: USA
7,456 posts, read 5,435,126 times
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I graduated college a bit over a decade ago. Even then, things were going downhill (most folks don't remember the recession that followed the tech bubble bursting because it pales in comparison to the current mess.) Even back then, if you got a job, you'd stick with it. While the economy sort of "recovered" during the Housing Bubble, the recovery was not reflected in the STEM field, which is where I work, hence the inability to change industries. I also suspect by then - though I could be wrong - that the job market had already begun to tighten up to an absurd level where one needs years of narrow experience for an entry level position.

When one's entire career has been spent in what could be considered a decade-long economic Depression that was briefly punctuated by a scam-driven Bubble, good choices are hard to come by. Imagine graduating college in the late 1920's... it's basically the same idea.
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Old 05-26-2012, 01:01 PM
Location: On the edge of the universe
994 posts, read 1,294,025 times
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I realized a couple of years ago at 28 that the crap sold to me in high school wasn't going to cut it. Here's what I thought over the years:

Age 10 - 12 I wanted to work at Bonanza (no joke. I liked the place so much at the time that I wanted to work there. There hasn't been a Bonanza in SD for maybe 18 years now)

12 - 14 Floundered on my career aspirations. Should kids really be thinking about a career at this age?

14 - 16 Gave some thought to a career but wasn't really serious about it. One thing I don't like about high schools is that they really force the whole college/career thing onto kids who never have experienced the working world as it really is.

16 - 18 I wanted to actually be a pro wrestler in the WWF (the Undertaker was my favorite). Of course this didn't even come close to materializing. Those days in the 90s were the best though.

18 - 19 I was accepted into college and went into a program for Computer Science. The dot-com meltdown along with a crappy teacher and school (and me not being very well prepared for college) put that on the shelf quickly. During this time I did toss around the idea of being a Nuclear Physicist but I didn't have the best grades during high school.

19 - 21 After witnessing the dot-com meltdown I had the inkling that the work world wasn't going to be a fun place. I transferred to a vo-tech school for an AS in Marketing. I still wasn't sure about an actual career but chose Marketing since I did well in that during high school and because it interested me the most at the time. When I graduated from the votech in 2003 I was unemployed for 3 months since I wasn't really prepared for dealing with a life outside of school.

21 - 24 I drifted from ****ty job to ****ty job until I ended up working part time at Toys R Us. Obviously it wasn't a high-status job but really wasn't all that bad. In fact, it was probably one of the jobs I had some fun at. Unfortunately I had to leave Toys R Us since I was moving back towards a better end of town. Toys R Us was almost literally a couple of blocks from my apartment but that end of town started turning into a hellhole.

24 - 27 I went to work for my parents part-time and that time was basically a dead zone for me. It's like Back To The Future where Marty McFly takes the Delorean back to 1885, that's what it felt like to me. SD is a very isolated state so you don't talk to many people at all. In a way I had a bit of a quarter life crisis myself. Basically, from December 2006 to July 2009 was me being a wanderer.

27 - NOW My parent's business ran into hard times and I was laid off on good terms. I applied for jobs and realized finally that the work world was going to be a nightmare for quite sometime. I began to toss around the idea of being self-employed and was eventually hired to do temp work for a call center. That sucked and in 2010 I was hired on at a grocery chain as a produce worker. That lasted for a year and a half before they drove me out for some Hollywood bull****. So now I'm stuck in a bank's call center until I can find something better, probably out of this 'state'.

I'm not trying to play fiddle, I'm just stating my past. I know people who've had worse than me. If there's anything I'd say to the 18-19 year olds just fresh out of high school, it's this:

Don't let people tell you bull****. That's what they told my generation and the older ones, and look at what is going on now. Don't let your job become your life, because when they fire you or drive you out, you lose both your job and your life.
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Old 05-26-2012, 05:06 PM
Location: Metro Detroit, Michigan
11,895 posts, read 13,227,559 times
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Originally Posted by Randomdude View Post
What is with you and others belief that a person cannot separate different functions of their life?

Just yesterday, I was doubled over ill at my house, and was STILL working from home, even though I wasnt being paid for it, getting a project done that was hoisted on me right before I left the day before as an emergency. This is for an hourly temp job that I have no benefits, or no idea whether Ill even get offered a full time job for.

You have no idea the effort and hard work Ive put in to every position Ive had. Thus far, it hasnt paid off one lick, outside of getting promoted to supervisor at a restaurant, and getting hired on full time from my perma temp job just before the office closed up and laid everyone off.

I have never seen an intelligence test that measures verbal expression. In fact, that part is actually tossed out of many tests as part of the final score altogether. Verbal comprehension, however, I have seen measured.

By the way, I can promise that intelligence has NEVER been measured by any test based on conversational postings on a message board. I take absolutely no care in what I am writing, in so much as what Im saying can be understood. I write posts quickly during lulls at work and without editing save for stuff I catch immediatley.

I wasnt bragging. It was said in the thread that intelligence basically equates to more money, and I simply stated an empirical case which it absolutely didnt. I only used a percentile I tested in to show that I actually am tested as smart (not simply claiming it, since Im sure most people "think" they are smart).

By "scamper back", I was not suggesting that smart people dont work in factories, I was suggesting it because they might actually care more about your judgement of what is intelligent.

So, here, you "brag" and its perfectly acceptable?

I know Im "bragging to the wrong crowd". I wasnt trying to "brag" to anyone here, I was trying to say that thus far, being smart and hard working has done nothing but get me more work and tighter deadlines, not raises, promotions, or anything of the sort.
So you see what you have been doing in the past is not working. What are your plans for trying something new and different?
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Old 05-26-2012, 06:49 PM
Location: SW Missouri
15,526 posts, read 29,200,558 times
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Originally Posted by Randomdude View Post
Thats ridiculous.

So, being 6'0, I can attain my dream of being a center in the NBA?

So, with two medical conditions that would "4F" me, I can attain my dream of being a Marine Corps Drill Sergeant?

If I was born with down syndrome, I can attain my dream of being a medical doctor?

Seriously. Every body is limited in some ways by what they are going to be able to do.

A short person will NEVER be a center in the NBA, a slow person will never be an olympic sprinter, someone with psychological problems will probably have trouble holding any job, someone born without an arm will not be an infantryman in the military.

Hell, my brother broke his arm, requiring a metal plate, and was refused from Navy service because of it.
A short person will never TRY to be the center in the NBA, etc., etc., etc. I firmly believe, that you can overcome *any* disability or disadvantage. People do not try and so it never happens, but that doesn't mean that it couldn't happen.

Even with your two medical conditions. I promise you that if you could shoot the center out of a dime at 200 yards and was fluent in Arabic that the military would fall all over themselves to get you into the Marines under any terms you wanted.

In this world *anything* can happen and *anything* is possible if you pursue it relentlessly. You will never convince me of anything else.

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