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If you have to count on someone else to go to an interview how in the world are you going to be responsible enough to get to an actual job when you get hired? Are you going to count on someone else to get you there all the time and on time?
I would not hire you simply because you do not have reliable transportation to work. Time to find somewhere else to live where you can use public transportation and get to work on time every day.
Stop and think. How about a former school chum you've kept in touch with. A cousin of a friend or relative. Someone who would allow you to crash on the couch or even sleep on the floor for a few weeks. I'm not talking about going to New York but a mid-sized area.
Make a list of everyone who you know, and then think about the people they know. I'll bet you can come up with someone who could help you out.
I've tried thinking about it. Most people I know after college or high school got out of here as quick as they could(I can't blame them, I would do the same if I was in their position). Most of them are out of state and I don't feel comfortable living with somebody without contributing first.
Why do I get the feeling that there is more to this story than we read. You wrote that he's been your means of transportation and that you've been going through the job-hunting process for several years. Are you in your 20's?
Contrary to comments written on here, Baby Boomers are about the last of the breed who DID indeed wash dishes, push brooms, and do the low-wage jobs that eventually got reserved for migrants. I remember it well ~ I was there. People were a lot less reliant on their parents. It was a whole different time.
He could very well be "clueless" to how the job market really is right now, but I'm wondering if he just isn't anxious for you to get on your feet and become more independent. Regardless of his nagging, take what you can find for work, and I think you should take on TWO jobs if you must. Harder way to save some money, but you have to start somewhere. And you live in a small town. Unless you're living in the rural area then why aren't you riding a bike to get around? That would be a good investment as soon as you could buy one.
Sounds like the first thing you should do with your first pay check is buy a bike so you can get around without relying on him.
No, I'm not getting a bike. I'm getting a cheap car so I can find better in other places.
Quote:
Originally Posted by chef.sunny22
Maybe he doesn't want you to get too settled in your small town and just stay there doing a crappy job. Have you been to college? Maybe he has higher standards for you.
We all want to see our kids go higher. Unfortunately my generation hasn't always been able to and my son has mild autism so to be happy and function as an adult is all I ask for his future.
Maybe my father should have thought about his family and how good we were doing before he moved back home because he wanted to relive his glory days. I was underage at the time and I had to go where my father wanted to go. Unfortunately it hurt his family greatly because of his own selfish behavior.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Quantum
It's not your fault that your father is very immature. He sees you in an -emotional- way and seems to have very limited life experience. And for some reason he resents you. This can only mean he's an a__h_le.
Maybe you don't have the funds, but if you do, get out of there. YOU are the rational one.
Thank you...because according to him I AM the one with the problem, but I'm not the type to look down on somebody else. Not in my nature.
Quote:
Originally Posted by CSD610
If you have to count on someone else to go to an interview how in the world are you going to be responsible enough to get to an actual job when you get hired? Are you going to count on someone else to get you there all the time and on time?
I would not hire you simply because you do not have reliable transportation to work. Time to find somewhere else to live where you can use public transportation and get to work on time every day.
Last time I check plenty of people had to borrow cars or had people take them to and from work. Unlike them as soon as I get a job I want to use the money I have stashed away on my own car.
If I can't get around without transportation here, how in the world do you expect me to move somewhere else with adequate transportation? Somebody still has to drive me THERE.
This thread isn't about transportation, it's about stupid it is to look down on somebody else for the work they apply for when they started out at the bottom themselves.
My own parents, while well-intentioned, also cannot under the nightmare of the current job market. My father is an engineer. He's worked at the same place for 40+ years, going through 5 different companies while still continuing to work at the same physical location. He's been EXTREMELY lucky to have never worked for a company that focused on trashing the "expensive, old people" - at least not while he was one of them - and though he tries, he really cannot understand the current job market. He doesn't understand the fake jobs, the interviews that amount to nothing, the online resume blackholes that go nowhere, the companies that would rather employ morons vs. workers, and so on. While I fully agree with him that most of the nonsense in the current work world makes no sense, that doesn't mean it isn't happening all the time.
His generation was the last that was able to go out, get a job, work hard, and stay employed. These days, nobody cares about your skills or abilities - it's mostly luck, connections, minimizing expenses, and so on in a dying economy plagued with run-away debt and chronicly high unemployment. Most of my generation will be lucky to live to retirement, much less retire. On the plus side, at least what has been a soul-crushing experience for me has made it clear to my parents that the unemployed are not all lazy welfare bums and that one can be well-educated and experienced in a supposedly "in demand" field and still deemed "useless" by today's crackpot society.
My own parents, while well-intentioned, also cannot under the nightmare of the current job market. My father is an engineer. He's worked at the same place for 40+ years, going through 5 different companies while still continuing to work at the same physical location. He's been EXTREMELY lucky to have never worked for a company that focused on trashing the "expensive, old people" - at least not while he was one of them - and though he tries, he really cannot understand the current job market. He doesn't understand the fake jobs, the interviews that amount to nothing, the online resume blackholes that go nowhere, the companies that would rather employ morons vs. workers, and so on. While I fully agree with him that most of the nonsense in the current work world makes no sense, that doesn't mean it isn't happening all the time.
His generation was the last that was able to go out, get a job, work hard, and stay employed. These days, nobody cares about your skills or abilities - it's mostly luck, connections, minimizing expenses, and so on in a dying economy plagued with run-away debt and chronicly high unemployment. Most of my generation will be lucky to live to retirement, much less retire. On the plus side, at least what has been a soul-crushing experience for me has made it clear to my parents that the unemployed are not all lazy welfare bums and that one can be well-educated and experienced in a supposedly "in demand" field and still deemed "useless" by today's crackpot society.
Many who think like him have to understand that yeah there might be better out there for me, but it isn't in a place like this. There's a reason why there so many more retired people or people close to retirement who live here.
It's just people like him have nothing positive nor helpful to say. They much rather criticize you and put your down for your efforts instead.
Many who think like him have to understand that yeah there might be better out there for me, but it isn't in a place like this. There's a reason why there so many more retired people or people close to retirement who live here.
It's just people like him have nothing positive nor helpful to say. They much rather criticize you and put your down for your efforts instead.
Well, I'll give him credit for not criticizing me, but that's mostly because he's know for many years just how badly screwed up my former employer was (I kept him informed of all their stupid antics), as well as all the idiocy in the job hunt. Considering how much of my job search has been thwarted by staggering corporate stupidity and incompetence, it's a very easy story to tell - there's no question what's going on or who's at fault. Most of these companies couldn't manage their way out of a paper bag, and they wonder why they are having so many problems!
As for your current situation, I don't have much to offer except looking for other modes of transportation or trying to get out of that area. Cranky, old, retired people who despise the unemployed or anyone who's suffering are some of the worst people to interact with on a regular basis. They are petty and hateful, and no amount of facts will change their mind because back in 1950-something, the job market was great, so clearly it should be wonderful today because nothing changes, as we all know...
Well, I'll give him credit for not criticizing me, but that's mostly because he's know for many years just how badly screwed up my former employer was (I kept him informed of all their stupid antics), as well as all the idiocy in the job hunt. Considering how much of my job search has been thwarted by staggering corporate stupidity and incompetence, it's a very easy story to tell - there's no question what's going on or who's at fault. Most of these companies couldn't manage their way out of a paper bag, and they wonder why they are having so many problems!
As for your current situation, I don't have much to offer except looking for other modes of transportation or trying to get out of that area. Cranky, old, retired people who despise the unemployed or anyone who's suffering are some of the worst people to interact with on a regular basis. They are petty and hateful, and no amount of facts will change their mind because back in 1950-something, the job market was great, so clearly it should be wonderful today because nothing changes, as we all know...
I hope this job works out this weekend so I can start. I'll will be looking for a old, cheap, used cheap car ASAP.
OP, this is not really so much related to employment, but one thing that occurs to me is to wonder if your father may be in the early stages of one of the forms of dementia.
I witnessed dementia take a family member from being an outgoing, friendly, supportive and encouraging person to a truly nasty personality that took genuine pleasure in hurting others, and I have to say that it was one of the hardest things I've ever done to deal with the vile, awful things he said in his final years. Your post doesn't indicate whether or not your dad's responses to you are part of a long-standing pattern, but if they are a relatively new development, it could be a really good idea to try to get him to go in for a thorough physical. There may be something completely unrelated to you that's causing his vituperative responses to your job hunt.
Annerk has some excellent suggestions, too; if you are living with a toxic housemate, whether related or not, it's time to take whatever action is needed to get yourself into a healthier place. And while it's commendable to want to be able to contribute immediately, there are other ways besides money to contribute to a household. Or you can also make yourself a promise to "pay it forward," i.e., to help someone else in that position once you get on your own feet as a way of contributing.
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