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Old 08-26-2012, 06:51 PM
 
Location: where people are either too stupid to leave or too stuck to move
3,982 posts, read 6,675,828 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 313Weather View Post
Her husband alone makes 6-figures (pretty high position in a Fortune 200 company)

I'm sure she makes a pretty good salary too, probably in the $75,000 to $100,000 range at the very least.
forgot to ask about the kids...the OP said something about the kids..? i think when you add kids in the equation it gets difficult..but an adult and adult with good health and no debt..it could be fine... I don't know and hope never to find out .
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Old 08-26-2012, 07:01 PM
 
Location: Whoville....
25,386 posts, read 35,466,787 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JBtwinz View Post
My wife is a SAHM and it has been great......of course we always lived below our means and financially it was not such a big hit losing her income. We are very grateful for her time these last three years with the twins, life for them has been fantastic, trips home to New England for the summer with family along with Christmas there to. They have been to children's museums and aquariums from Atlanta to Boston, and just recently visited Niagara Falls. For the most part a lot of working moms we have spoken to has admitted they feel they missed out by not being there for the first few years, but everyone has a different situation. It is not easy in this day and age to stay home as it is financially a burden.

On another note I see so many of my friends whose wife's work and it seems to me they are chasing some sort of American dream that is not realistic. The best of everything and they are so financially clueless and in debt up to the hilt. Underwater homes and everything credit will buy. I wonder what their children will expect?
When I see posts like this, I always want to ask this question: Do YOU feel you missed out on not being there for your twins early years?

I've worked from the time my kids were very small. I don't feel I missed out except on sleep and me time. Those I definitely missed out on.

People have this all or nothing view of time that I just don't get. It's like they think that we spend 100% of our time working on work days and spend all days working. Here's a reality check. 28% of all days fall on the weekend. If we assume another 25 days per year in vacation, holiday and sick time (usually taken for a sick child as any parent can attest), we're up to almost 35% of days being days we have to spend the entire day with our kids. However, contrary to popular belief, parents do spend time with kids on work days and that does count (seriously, any father can tell you it counts.). So what's different is that 65% of the time, WM's spend part of the day with their kids instead of all day with their kids. This leaves me wondering what I was supposed to have missed (except sleep and me time which research finds is what is really different between SAHM's and WM's. The difference in time spent with children is less than an hour a day during the preschool years due to naps, kids playing by themselves, play dates, mom doing chores while the kids watch TV, etc, etc, etc...). I was there every day to spend time with my kids and the time I had was spent on my kids (this is why research find such a small difference in time spent with kids. They find that a WM's time at home is more child centered than a SAHM's time at home.) so you'll have to tell me what I missed.

I was there every single day of my kids lives and spent time with them every single day. During the first 5 years, if I was typical, I would have spent 645 whole days home with my kids that we could use to go to the zoo or science center or park or whatever. The way I see it, I had plenty of time. Maybe my week days were filled with the basics but I still had plenty of whole days off to enjoy and I did. Unless one subscribes to the silly notion that the hours between 9-5 on Monday -Friday hold some magical parenting power, I think I had plenty of time....just not for me and sleep.. I, definitely, missed me time and sleep but once I had kids it ceased to be about me and what I wanted and became about them and what they needed.
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Old 08-26-2012, 07:05 PM
 
7,237 posts, read 12,716,252 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by L'Artiste View Post
forgot to ask about the kids...the OP said something about the kids..? i think when you add kids in the equation it gets difficult..but an adult and adult with good health and no debt..it could be fine... I don't know and hope never to find out .
Now a single adult with absolutely no debt or government assistance I think can survive well in a low cost of living area on $17/hr or even $13/hr.
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Old 08-26-2012, 07:06 PM
 
26,585 posts, read 61,931,227 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by andywire View Post
I don't think it takes much to qualify for a mortgage these days if your credit is good, so long as you're not looking for a McMansion or something. There are plenty of 2 bedroom/1 bathroom houses out there going for next to nothing these days. Many would be better bought on a 5 year loan as opposed to a 30 year mortgage. Even better deals can be had if your willing to put some work into a fixer upper.
We bought our first home in 1996--that's the one we're talking about. Very different times.

By the way, a 2/1 that isn't a condo/townhouse is difficult to get financing for. They are considered functionally obsolete by mortgage companies because they are impossible to sell, usually need a ton of work, and people tend to walk away often. You generally need to either be a cash buyer or have a very large down payment to be able to find a loan through the secondary market.
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Old 08-26-2012, 07:07 PM
 
26,585 posts, read 61,931,227 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by L'Artiste View Post
forgot to ask about the kids...the OP said something about the kids..? i think when you add kids in the equation it gets difficult..but an adult and adult with good health and no debt..it could be fine... I don't know and hope never to find out .
We had one child. We felt we couldn't reasonably afford another.
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Old 08-26-2012, 07:09 PM
 
26,585 posts, read 61,931,227 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 313Weather View Post
Now a single adult with absolutely no debt or government assistance I think can survive well in a low cost of living area on $17/hr or even $13/hr.
You can easily afford a 1/1 condo in my area as a single person making $17. And drive a decent car. And even squeeze in a modest vacation every couple of years.
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Old 08-26-2012, 07:21 PM
 
2,612 posts, read 5,574,350 times
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We could easily live on one salary, even with our massive student loan debt. However, our house is too expensive and the upkeep on it is even more. I am actually going back to work in a few weeks so we can pay for some needed work, and also because I am just so sick of not shopping. I want to have my own income for a change, and anyway, I really like my job. We have the unique situation of working opposite hours, so my child doesn't have to go to daycare or anything like that (but my husband and I only see each other in passing, of course). In retrospect, I wish we'd bought a cheaper or newer home, but it's lost too much value for us to consider selling right now.
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Old 08-28-2012, 12:57 PM
 
353 posts, read 903,958 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ivorytickler View Post

I have never understood why people derail careers to stay home when kids are little for such a short period of time and this is the one time in their lives when good other care is available. Seriously, if I were inclined to stay home, I'd do it during the teen years. I'm fortunate in that when I lost my engineering job, I took a job teaching so I'm home most of the time my kids are. With the exception of one year, dd#1 has commuted to school with me. I don't see dd#2 as much because she stayed in our home district instead of transferring to the school where I teach but she's a good kid who is very mature for her age and seeks her parents advice so I don't worry about her too much.
Because they are little for such a short time period and some people value bonding, character building, and establishing a foundation (depending on their beliefs and way of life) more than 401Ks, senior pictures, and band camp.

Also, some people do not like leaving their children with strangers who could be unconvicted perverts, deviants, or predators. That goes for adults and children. Children are molesting children these days right along with the pervert adults. There are a lot of other downsides to group care situations that get brushed under the rug.

Everyone has different priorities.

I would hope that as people age, they would realize that nothing is ever as simple as "this is my way of life so my circumstances must apply to everyone else".

Work, don't work, work from home, work part time....I don't care. Do what's best for your family and there's no need to worry about what others are doing unless you need validation for your own choices.
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Old 08-28-2012, 03:02 PM
 
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Actually, it takes more than two incomes according to the government. Each child costs $239,000 to raise to age 18. Each adult(household) should have 2.2 million in net worth by retirement age. And employment and payscales are not impressive.
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Old 08-28-2012, 03:24 PM
 
6,192 posts, read 7,330,651 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Miss Crabcakes View Post
I personally don't think its this simple and surely not for everyone.

Downsize housing? We live in a 3-bedroom/2.5- bath house we bought last year. Our total mortgage is only $50 more than the 2-bedroom/2-bath apartment we rented prior to this. In order to downsize, we'd have to either go back to renting a 2 bedroom apartment in a more ghetto neighborhood (where my first out of college apartment was with Section 8 families and lots of loud, unruly people that I'd rather not raise a child in) or downsize to a 1 bedroom apartment. We got a foreclosure for 30% off the regular price and identical houses on our street rent for $600 more than our mortgage. In short, we have the cheapest mortgage for the nicest neighborhood we could comfortable afford (and under $1200).

Downsize vehicle? I drive a 12 year old Honda Accord with only 120,000 miles on it. I plan to drive it until it dees but even so, I need to be saving up for the down payment on the next car I plan to buy used in about (hopefully) 4-5 years. And I'd need at least $4,000 down to get a payment under $300 a month. I buy cars I can drive for 10+ years.

Downsize entertainment? Netflix costs about $15 a month and we spend more weekends playing on the computers and watching movies. Happy hours are cheap at maybe $15 - $20 biweekly. We rarely go out to nice restaurants (maybe once a month) and when we do, I spend less than $50.

Vacations? My last trip was a cruise in Feb 2011. Prior to that my wedding/honeymoon in Oct 2009. Are people taking vacations regularly? I know nothing of that. I rarely even take a personal day off (I have currently have no paid time off as I am a contractor).

subs? Just so happened I chose to live in an area with less crime and better school which is generally desirable when starting a family. I left a cheaper area where teens were partying and fighting in the streets at 3am which again is not desirable for family life.

a boat or jet skis, along with the big Toyota SUV, 46 in Flat Screen TV with 3,500 channels, surround sound Who the hell has any of this??? While I have 2 flat screen 30 inches (bought on sale) , I still own an TV with the big back on it that works just fine.

high speed internet connection ($135 month or more) - We pay about $70 for internet and we feel its a necessity for constant job searches, updating skills, networking and school.

I phone, oh, and the daily Latte Frappe at Starbucks at $5.00 a pop. - No iPhone and I don't buy coffee daily. I drink the free stuff offered on my job.

And we still need and depend on 2 incomes.

Why? Because we can't find jobs willing to pay enough to one of us so that one can carry the other. Its really that simple. Good paying, stable, long-term jobs are not available to all. But only some. For the rest, this is how we have to deal. Until one of us gets that lucky break. And we are still trying.

Get it?

Could not agree more!

We live in a very expensive city. Someone might easily say, "Then move!" But alas, where are the jobs once you move? They're not always there. My husband works in an industry that only put themselves in very expensive cities. As for me, my area of work always supposedly has a "shortage" yet time and time again, job postings will stay listed for months or years on end without being filled. What a joke...

I was unemployed for a period of two months. We were only living on the bare minimum and we were barely getting by. If we had a child? No way---we would have dipped into our savings. Now if he continued to work and I was at home, we'd barely be making ends meet and would probably be saving close to zero. However, if he doubled his income somehow (and trust me, he's tried), then I would be able to stay home. But I would always be too scared to do that, since lay-offs seem constant.

And now for the "luxuries" we supposedly have:
-One bedroom apartment; very small; where/what should I downsize to?
-Vehicle? We share one. We paid in full. We did not buy a "new" car.
-Entertainment? We also have Netflix ($8/month) and no cable. We don't go to movies, shows, etc very often. They are rare events. We have one TV that we had since moving into our apartment. Aside from video game systems, we have no other "stuff." Okay, basic computers---you got me there.
-Vacation? We are going on a big camping trip in a week. My current place of employment gives me five days of vacation. And there it goes. It's done.
-Coffee? We make our own and very rarely buy coffee outside. We make meal plans. I have an excel file that budgets out very specific amounts of money for food, gas, bills, etc.

Yes, all of that is barely possible with one income. A second income allows me to save almost my entire income to put toward making our lives better---a down payment for a home, a vacation so I can keep my sanity (haven't taken a day off of work the entire year) and allows us to have "back-up" money in case something happens. I think with a kid in the picture we would most definitely need some additional money. If my husband was able to secure work in a cheaper place with the same income, maybe it'd be possible. But it's not so easy and it's not possible for everyone.
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