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Old 12-04-2012, 06:51 PM
 
Location: GA
428 posts, read 1,065,399 times
Reputation: 272

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Non-official meaning there were no funds to support such an event as was traditional at my new employer. So they are on their own and it is at a house of a manager.

I guess maybe 30-40 people. It is a drive for me, so I figure I would not drink.
I actually don't want to go but fear that it will look bad.

Before I go into anything too cyncial around the holidays, do you have any tips for surviving?
If it's only 3 hours long, would it look bad to leave after an hour?
What if I refuse to participate in something that I consider stupid?
Is it a secret team builder or will people actually act like people and not bottom kissers and robots?
Yes, I'm an introvert and will be skulking around in no time, most likely hiding.
Seriously, no one will remember I even went...should I bother?
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Old 12-05-2012, 07:11 AM
 
Location: Ayrsley
4,714 posts, read 8,189,081 times
Reputation: 3809
If you want to go, then go. If you don't want to go, then don't.

It is that simple.
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Old 12-09-2012, 04:05 PM
 
Location: Forks,WA
2,987 posts, read 2,955,257 times
Reputation: 1535
At least you have an option...last year the company I worked for had a (mandatory) party attendance
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Old 12-09-2012, 05:44 PM
 
6,425 posts, read 4,251,728 times
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Dude, don't go if you don't want to go. Just make up a family member's sickness. Or say you have plans, etc.
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Old 12-09-2012, 08:21 PM
 
13,450 posts, read 9,463,553 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Truth11 View Post
At least you have an option...last year the company I worked for had a (mandatory) party attendance
The last company I worked for did that to the management team. Managers were required to attend. Fortunately, though I was considered part of the management team, my title didn't include that word so I didn't have to go. ( I'd been there many years when they pulled that stunt.)

OP, if I were you, I'd show up. You said it's a new employer. Show up, eat some appetizers. Bring a bottle of wine or something and say good-bye after an hour or so if you are not enjoying yourself. Remember to graciously thank your host.

If you get "Why are you leaving so early?" Say " I had trouble sleeping last night and I am exhausted, but thanks so much for inviting me. It's been great."
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Old 12-09-2012, 08:43 PM
 
2,839 posts, read 4,708,602 times
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"Oh I wish I could go but my family is having a get together that night..."
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Old 12-10-2012, 03:30 PM
 
Location: Washington, DC & New York
10,743 posts, read 25,362,614 times
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Find a work friend who is going, and then stick to them at the party, so you can survive it. Otherwise, just put on a happy face and enjoy yourself as best you can, because you don't have to stay for the entire time, unless it is a structured affair with a sit down dinner. This party does not sound like that, so you could leave after an hour. Odds are that you won't even be questioned as to why you are leaving, but the fact that you attended will be appreciated.

I agree with the above advice about bringing a decent bottle of wine, and being sure to make a point to thank the host/hostess for a lovely evening, and wish them the best during the season. Rather than saying "Oh, John/Jane didn't even show up, as a new employee..." they would have the impression "Well, that was great that John/Jane showed up and enjoyed themselves..." The host is going out-of-pocket with the expenses, so while it may be unofficial from the company's perspective, it's personal to the host/hostess, opening their home to co-workers. You should try to enjoy yourself, and even if it's a little out of your comfort zone, since it's an expression of appreciation to the host/hostess.
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Old 12-10-2012, 04:17 PM
 
2,138 posts, read 4,584,301 times
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Go and have a good time. Christmas parties can be fun, despite what many people on here think.
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Old 12-10-2012, 04:40 PM
 
Location: Michigan--good on the rocks
2,544 posts, read 3,424,232 times
Reputation: 1930
I'd say go. Keep an open mind. Have a good time. You do not have to stay for the whole thing, but I think it's good to put in an appearance. You might have fun. Not drinking is probably a good idea, or drinking only minimally. I find that's good policy in general at a company gathering of any sort.
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Old 12-10-2012, 07:54 PM
 
Location: NJ
17,579 posts, read 38,001,996 times
Reputation: 16091
You are way over thinking this.
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