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I appreciate all of the care and concernI read in a lot of these posts.
I also appreciate that I don't think anyone has said anything to the OP that he has not heard dozens of times since his time in school. This probably goes a long way towards explaining why he is here. Maybe in his current circumstances he is not being reminded enough of what an incompetent and bumbling loser he is so he has to go out and have that affirmed...if only by strangers. For people who are unfamiliar with this dynamic its a kind of "learned Helplessness" sort of thing.
At some less-than-conscious level our OP knows that he has marginal abilities. Maybe he didn't start that way but after working hard, early-on and seeing how fleeting the reward and recognition was, he may have figured that the amount of work necessary for someone of his abilities was out of all proportion to the reward, IDK. It also does not help that he uses Alcohol which only makes his judgement worse, depresses him and he probably gets into trouble now and again when he DOES drink. If he uses MJ, lack of "drive" or ambition is a consequence of that.
I didn't catch where he is living or how he is maintaining a shelter for himself. Not sure what his relationship is with his sister but it sounds like there could be some "enabling" going on. I think I will stick with the idea that our OP could have a disability, is not as autonomous as he would like to be and knows it---probably doesn't like himself much about that either.
The good news is that there are groups and outreach for people such as himself that he can go to.
The bad new is that ---well----there are groups and outreach for people such as himself that he can go to---but the key word is "go" to. They are not going to come around banging on his door begging to help him.
Personally.....IMVVHO I don't think he's lazy at all. I think he's just scared S**tl**s of change.
im sorry for posting this..my problems are nothing..cuz i am useless.. my job interview at goodwill failed it alot.. i practiced so much i had a notebook with questions to ask..felt like i could do something decent for once..but yet again I failed..as usual.. i couldn't think..i couldn't talk i couldn't do it too afraid to look him in the eye..nothing but a worthless liar didn't deserve getting the interview wasted his time..wasted all their time.
my parents let me stay in their house why? I'm a grown as woman....i think they should kick me out let me die in the streets.. maybe i'll get lucky and be brutaly killed. wont have to go through the trouble of doing it myself one day..
sorry sorry can't seem to stop the negativity..maybe I should try counseling but..its only for crazy people and others with big problems like a abuse and stuff not me.. plus my parent's never got it so I dont need it either..but don't have any money and they sure as hell wont pay..sad thing is can't get any more alcohol.. my sister left the house..and i have no money...I HATE THIS..
why am I so lazy and afraid to do stuff and talk to people..why do I get depressed why do I have no sense of identity why does saying positive stuff make me cringe..why does looking in the mirror or touching myself repulse me so? why can't i get a job? don't care about anything else..just want to succeed in that.. if only just that...
i used to have dreams of working farway from here like in canada.. used to have interests dont know them anymore..use to be skinny now i'm a monster.. a terrible monster.. sorry i'll stop posting
seriously thanks for all the advice i'm just a lost cause.
I'm trying to get a job but it's not going so well. I keep screwing up interviews because I'm so uncomfortable with myself. I'm obese, I'm disgusting, and ugly, I have no skills, shy, no confidence, and have nothing to offer any company, how can any employer want anything to do with me? All throughout highschool I felt this way so instead of getting a job, learning to drive, going to parties, getting good grades, making friends, all that other teen stuff...I got scared and stayed home getting fatter. Somehow I passed and now I'm unemployed sitting at home crying everyday, trying to get my hands on alcohol, or just sleeping. I'm thinking I should volunteer but can't afford to spend 17.50 every week to volunteer, my parent's wont give me money for that.
I can't find a single good thing about myself and I don't think I can sell myself when I truly believe I have nothing to offer so why should they bother..why should anyone bother? Hell I don't.
I gotten 7 interviews in the past 5 years and failed every one. I couldn't being enthusiastic enough, I couldn't keep up the lie about having work experience, I didn't prepare enough and got overwhelmed, I didn't dress correctly, I didn't follow up, I didn't follow the "rules" so now because of my laziness I'm getting more depressed about not having a job. And it continues.
I'm willing to do any job except sales/ marketing. I would like warehouse or some physical job but they all want experience with a forklift, cherry-picker ectt.. a DL, experience, or it's not on the busline.
It's hard enough being 20 with no work experience, no friends, no college education, obese, boring, and socially anxious. Need some help before I go crazy.
You cannot change unless you really want to change yourself and make your life better.
im sorry for posting this..my problems are nothing..cuz i am useless.. my job interview at goodwill failed it alot.. i practiced so much i had a notebook with questions to ask..felt like i could do something decent for once..but yet again I failed..as usual.. i couldn't think..i couldn't talk i couldn't do it too afraid to look him in the eye..nothing but a worthless liar didn't deserve getting the interview wasted his time..wasted all their time.
my parents let me stay in their house why? I'm a grown as woman....i think they should kick me out let me die in the streets.. maybe i'll get lucky and be brutaly killed. wont have to go through the trouble of doing it myself one day..
sorry sorry can't seem to stop the negativity..maybe I should try counseling but..its only for crazy people and others with big problems like a abuse and stuff not me.. plus my parent's never got it so I dont need it either..but don't have any money and they sure as hell wont pay..sad thing is can't get any more alcohol.. my sister left the house..and i have no money...I HATE THIS..
why am I so lazy and afraid to do stuff and talk to people..why do I get depressed why do I have no sense of identity why does saying positive stuff make me cringe..why does looking in the mirror or touching myself repulse me so? why can't i get a job? don't care about anything else..just want to succeed in that.. if only just that...
i used to have dreams of working farway from here like in canada.. used to have interests dont know them anymore..use to be skinny now i'm a monster.. a terrible monster.. sorry i'll stop posting
seriously thanks for all the advice i'm just a lost cause.
You are not a lost cause, you are just lost.
Counseling is NOT just for crazy people! This is not the 1950s, we don't have that mentality anymore. Tons of people go to counseling, even successful people go to counseling. It's a place to talk about how you truly feel and you have someone with a damned degree who knows how to help you move through that.
Please, do not think you are crazy because people suggest therapy. You are not crazy, you are more than likely seriously depressed, (I'm not a doctor, I'm not giving a diagnosis, I'm guessing based on what you write).
What you need are the right tools. You DO have the ability, you just don't have the right tools. Counseling, therapy, et al will help you with that. The only thing that would make you "crazy" is if you DIDN'T go.
You do need someone to listen to you and help guide you. Help you find out your good qualities. Help you learn how to deal with rejection. NO ONE likes rejection but we learn how to deal with it. You may not have the tools to know how to deal with it without beating yourself up more than you normally do.
I again request, please, find a place that offers counseling/therapy. It will do you a world of good not because you are crazy, but because you need someone to give you the right tools so that YOU can go out and make your life better.
I do drink yes but mostly on the weekends when my sister gets here or if I can't find money in the weekday..it helps calm me when I start thinking negative so i dont think ima give it up yet.
Using alcohol to cope with your problems is a one way road. Eventually, it starts to loose it's effectiveness and you find yourself needing to drink more often. The negative emotions begin to creep up more frequently, and more pronounced. Not a good path to trek. What you need to do is forge a life for yourself. Maybe counseling could help, or some support groups. There are social anxiety groups where people living with the same problems share their experiences, both success and struggles. Better than self medicating, and a lot cheaper.
Try concentrating on the root cause of your problems, not the symptoms or consequences.
Counseling is NOT for crazy people. I'm not crazy, I was depressed. And it was the BEST thing I ever did in my life.
You really need to see someone for help hun, your attitude is very negative and not normal. I hope you do go rather than just posting about how much you hate yourself on here. You have to ask yourself what you are accomplishing by not going?
.I do drink yes but mostly on the weekends when my sister gets here or if I can't find money in the weekday..it helps calm me when I start thinking negative so i dont think ima give it up yet.
I went through years of daily drinking and I'll tell ya, it's just not worth it. Alcohol does not calm you, it's a depressant. You're trying to make excuses to drink and that's not healthy. When I sobered up, I became a new person and I'm glad I did it. However, I'm not getting into details, but if you're depressed and drinking, the two don't mix.
I had to get booted out of my mom's house and living with my brother to get my act together. I reflect on how much I could of accomplished when I was young but didn't because I didn't think I could do anything. As another poster stated, everyone has a first job, and don't lie on the application.
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