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You always need to be vague about your social life even in casual work conversations. IF for no other reason than to keep coworkers from getting overly familiar. Limiting after work outings.
He sounds old enough to know better. If you're not absolutely certain it was intneded to be a DATE then try to steer it back to an informal group outing. Are you new to the job? He may have mis interpreted your eagerness to bond with the group. You can say you'd rather not get involved with ANYONE (hopefully he wont take it personally) until you've had a little more time to become adjusted.
I'm in a completely different situation, but can elaborate. Hopefully he is NOTHING like the evil manager I was recently screwed over by, or you're SOL. By that, I mean people who take things too personally, and seek revenge. I stood up for my own worker rights and became a target of harassment for it where I'm at. If the guy you're dealing with is the same way, prepare for trouble, no matter how nicely or gently you turn him down. It sucks, but it's reality.
Unfortunately, authoritative positions tend to attract the wrong people who will abuse their power sometimes. Hopefully you ended up with a manager who is mature enough to handle rejection like a man. But the fact he's already hitting on you in the workplace is a bad sign. I'm not trying to be a pessimist here, just trying to help out. If you have an opportunity to get ANY hard proof of harassment after turning this guy down, do not hesitate to get your hands on it! And start planning for multiple scenarios - anything from the easy "They accept it and it's a done deal", to the "Time to start job hunting" paths.
You always need to be vague about your social life even in casual work conversations. IF for no other reason than to keep coworkers from getting overly familiar. Limiting after work outings.
He sounds old enough to know better. If you're not absolutely certain it was intneded to be a DATE then try to steer it back to an informal group outing. Are you new to the job? He may have mis interpreted your eagerness to bond with the group. You can say you'd rather not get involved with ANYONE (hopefully he wont take it personally) until you've had a little more time to become adjusted.
Believe it or not I've been there for years so it's clear I don't hook up with anyone at work. That's definitely not my MO. I mentioned my boyfriend and said that I tried to get him to relocate but he wouldn't but he is still alive and I'm thinking I should start showing his picture around or something to get the point across. IDK
Quote:
Originally Posted by Flightoficarus87
I'm in a completely different situation, but can elaborate. Hopefully he is NOTHING like the evil manager I was recently screwed over by, or you're SOL. By that, I mean people who take things too personally, and seek revenge. I stood up for my own worker rights and became a target of harassment for it where I'm at. If the guy you're dealing with is the same way, prepare for trouble, no matter how nicely or gently you turn him down. It sucks, but it's reality.
Unfortunately, authoritative positions tend to attract the wrong people who will abuse their power sometimes. Hopefully you ended up with a manager who is mature enough to handle rejection like a man. But the fact he's already hitting on you in the workplace is a bad sign. I'm not trying to be a pessimist here, just trying to help out. If you have an opportunity to get ANY hard proof of harassment after turning this guy down, do not hesitate to get your hands on it! And start planning for multiple scenarios - anything from the easy "They accept it and it's a done deal", to the "Time to start job hunting" paths.
Seems highly inappropriate to me that a manager would ask out a subordinate. Be polite about rejecting his offer. Like others have mentioned, suggest that your boyfriend would not approve. Hopefully, he'll step back at that point. If not, you might have a HR issue.
So, I'm chit chatting with a manager the other day and somehow, near the end of the conversation it whips around from being a general get to know you to we should hang out. Cool, that sounds like fun, I like hanging with people from the office sometimes. It can be a good bonding experience, some face time with the boss is always a good thing. But then he says WE (meaning just he and I) can get some dinner, dancing... Umm.... AWKWARD! My dilemma is I don't date people I work with EVER, much less someone with the position to fire me. That rule has never let me down and I'm not about to start breaking it now. How do I...what's the protocol for turning down or ditching a date with a supervisor gently??? Truthfully it's making me mad that this asshat asked at all, putting me in a ****ed up position. I take work super seriously and don't like people screwing with my money or trying to bamboozle me with their personal crap! I'm sensitive to the fact that it is the holiday seasonand people get desperate but WTF????
It's Christmas so why not treat yourself to a nice ring. It doesn't have to be expensive, it just has to LOOK expensive.
Wear it to work. Show it to him.
Gush. A LOT!
"Squeee! My boyfriend just bought me an engagement ring! Isn't it beautiful?!"
Ask him for advice about a guy you have a crush on and are absolutely head over heels for. That usually helps me dash the hopes of any unwanteds.
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