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In the business world have you ever come across someone wildly charismatic and popular..despite being of average skill and not actually doing anything? How is it like to work for someone like this? I don't think I can, I'm too angry and would want to expose him for what he is...a fraud.
This is about a guy that reminds me a lot of the Wizard from the Wizard of Oz.
I got a bachelors degree in Biology and have been working as a lab tech for $12/hour for the past year. I got a 4.0 GPA in my major coursework. I've hauled ass my whole life and worked through high school and college but I feel that all my work hasn't amounted to anything.
A guy that grew up in my neighborhood never studied and always got B+ grades from elementary school through college...hell...he's still in college! He's a 5th year undergrad and got accepted to a top M.S. program despite majoring in...Sociology. He always knew how to rile up a crowd and give flamboyant speeches without actually doing anything. He was voted Prom King in High school but he never actually did anything, he just gives these Hollywood caliber, over the top speeches and tells people what they should do to realize their talents after negotiating with people. He even stopped two gangs from fighting each other just by talking and doing speeches.
I applied many times for paid internships in the Federal Government to get a top secret clearance, and never got called back. I felt like ripping my hair out when I heard that he got the paid internship the first time he applied, with his mediocre grades and poor work ethic. I almost had a stroke when I found out that he got an all expenses paid scholarship and flies around the country giving speeches and drawing pretty little pictures in Microsoft Visio visualizing business processes and trains of thought.
He gets hundreds of dollars for drawing pretty pictures, talking to high level executives about their company's goals, and visualizing work flow and working group processes.
He's a bum that hasn't even graduated yet with a B+ GPA in a liberal arts degree. What really made me hate him was when he told me that as long as I always "thought inside the box" and followed everybody else I would always be average, a disposable number.
Do I have a point, or am I just jealous?
So you have pure jealousy, plain and simple.
What you perceive as "not doing work" or just giving "pretty speeches" may be far from the truth.
And FYI-- some people DONT have to study as hard as other people. I have never had to study even in grad school and now even in an MBA or when I took the PMP exam. Some people have excellent retention or learn very quickly. Others struggle with learning certain subjects.
Of course if your friend is anything like me than he is also smart about what he chooses to pursue. For example: I would NOT do medical school-- as that would require extensive study and it may be possible in science I may just not *get* it.
We have a group at my company that is reminiscent of IDEO-- they listen to executives, business groups, and draw much prettier drawings than even Visio could ever do of what they hear, and what they envision. It is not something I could do-- and it takes a special talent. It is not just drawing pretty pictures it is helping others see the problems RIGHT IN FRONT OF THEM.
Also, the fact remains is that your friend probably has a different personality style than you do. Over the past year and a half I have taken assessment after assessment, a couple 360 feedback surveys, various personality tests, aptitude tests during my MBA. One thing that has always amazed me is how we take various assessments then split the class physically in the buckets of the assessment. I can visually see where my "opposing" personality types lay and begin to understand why I find working with certain types of people so infuriating.
Your friend may fall into a category where you perceive it to be highly disorganized, not "working hard", and yet what they offer in the job world is just vastly different than what you would ever pursue or potentially ever perceive as a job.
What appeals to you potentially as a career, plan of study, probably would never be a match for your friend and vice versa-- doesn't mean that either one of you is not working as hard as the other. Just means that the values you place on his choices, career, etc is not valued to you based on your own thought process.
Actually, He has a point. And, as long as you waste your time and energy competing against someone who you are so jealous of you will never focus on the most valuable asset you possess...Yourself. Better yourself, you might even take a few lessons in using what talents you have to the betterment of your life, rather than bemoan his successes.
And, true charisma is a valuable tool in any position. People have sought that innate "born with it" characteristic for centuries.
Take your skills and work hard and you will be successful too. Learn from others.... take what is good and apply it as you can to make yourself the Best "You" that you can be. Be happy friend.
Last edited by JanND; 04-17-2013 at 06:26 AM..
Reason: edit text
He has a rare and valuable skill set. Be happy for him!
You have a different skill set, and you probably won't end up earning the money and accolades he'll get. Life isn't fair. Accept that you and he are different people on different paths.
Quote:
Originally Posted by maus
Easy to say, but try to be happy for your friend, not many people can pull that off anyway (motivational public speaking) and you should lighten up on yourself. You have a long path ahead of you of ups and downs and you are just starting out.
If you focus on yourself and not look into other people's pockets, you will get much further in life, believe me.
I agree. How many people can be motivational speakers? The majority of people can't.
Im sure most of us can relate to comparing ourselves to others and feeling jealous. I had a good gpa and I know classmates who didn't and they make much more than I so. Life isnt fair. All you can do is focus on your goals.
Most of us grew up hearing that good grades=success and it's not always like that. For some of us when you graduate college and don't make the big bucks, it's like what was all of that studying for? I can relate to you trust me but comparing yourself to him wont do you any good. It's not healthy to keep those feelings of jealousy. I say try to learn from him if you can. And I agree that sometimes you do need to look outside of the box.
Welcome to the world. People love "flash" more than anything else.
That's right. OP, you are jealous, but there's nothing wrong with that, it's human to be so, especially when you look at people like your friend. On the other hand, I'm sure many people are jealous of your natural intelligence since most of them can't come close to a 3.97 in bio, I know I couldn't.
For those that don't... tell them to apply at Boeing and Microsoft.
What people on this board don't seem to understand is that there isn't just one field called "engineering", but there are many different fields that include the word "engineering" in the title. These fields often have little or nothing in common. I am a civil engineer. Boeing and Microsoft do not hire civil engineers. So that is completely useless advice that you just gave me.
That's right. OP, you are jealous, but there's nothing wrong with that, it's human to be so, especially when you look at people like your friend. On the other hand, I'm sure many people are jealous of your natural intelligence since most of them can't come close to a 3.97 in bio, I know I couldn't.
Unfortunately, people like myself and the OP who get high GPAs in college are not rewarded in the workplace.
In the business world have you ever come across someone wildly charismatic and popular..despite being of average skill and not actually doing anything? How is it like to work for someone like this? I don't think I can, I'm too angry and would want to expose him for what he is...a fraud.
This is about a guy that reminds me a lot of the Wizard from the Wizard of Oz.
I got a bachelors degree in Biology and have been working as a lab tech for $12/hour for the past year. I got a 4.0 GPA in my major coursework. I've hauled ass my whole life and worked through high school and college but I feel that all my work hasn't amounted to anything.
A guy that grew up in my neighborhood never studied and always got B+ grades from elementary school through college...hell...he's still in college! He's a 5th year undergrad and got accepted to a top M.S. program despite majoring in...Sociology. He always knew how to rile up a crowd and give flamboyant speeches without actually doing anything. He was voted Prom King in High school but he never actually did anything, he just gives these Hollywood caliber, over the top speeches and tells people what they should do to realize their talents after negotiating with people. He even stopped two gangs from fighting each other just by talking and doing speeches.
I applied many times for paid internships in the Federal Government to get a top secret clearance, and never got called back. I felt like ripping my hair out when I heard that he got the paid internship the first time he applied, with his mediocre grades and poor work ethic. I almost had a stroke when I found out that he got an all expenses paid scholarship and flies around the country giving speeches and drawing pretty little pictures in Microsoft Visio visualizing business processes and trains of thought.
He gets hundreds of dollars for drawing pretty pictures, talking to high level executives about their company's goals, and visualizing work flow and working group processes.
He's a bum that hasn't even graduated yet with a B+ GPA in a liberal arts degree. What really made me hate him was when he told me that as long as I always "thought inside the box" and followed everybody else I would always be average, a disposable number.
Do I have a point, or am I just jealous?
The A students end up working for the C students.
Ever notice the sales weasels (with the C averages and the frat boy college lifestyle majoring in softology) make more money than the A student engineers that make the products the weasels sell?
I can completely relate to the OP. I feel that people like myself and the OP were set up (whether or not intentionally or not) by our teachers and parents. We were told that if we worked hard we would make more money. We were told that the last laugh would be ours. Unfortunately, people like myself and the OP are not rewarded in the workplace. The workplace, unfortunately, rewards the very people who bullied us in school. People on this board like to resort to childish tactics such as labeling people like me and the OP "whining" and "entitled". But, whether fair or not, you do need to understand that we were set up to expect a better life than what society allows for us.
My advice to people such as the OP: try to limit the time you spend looking up people from your past on Facebook and on the internet in general. It is very depressing to look up people from my past who were bad kids who are now making far more money than I ever will. So the best idea is to not do it. At least if it's someone who I care enough about to still keep in touch with in real life, I can feel somewhat happy for their success, even if I don't feel it's completely deserved.
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