Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
When I look back at my previous employers I noticed that the ones I was happiest at were ones where I had social connections and friends at work. It made going into the office so much easier because, admit it- doing the same tasks over and over- can be a bit boring unless you have someone to talk to.
I have not worked full time for seven years but I have worked at quite a few temporary jobs. It has been a eye opening experience to say the least. Ever since the Internet, I have noticed a general lack of friendship among the coworkers at the employers I have worked at. (I did not expect to make friends, I was only there as a temp) In many cases the offices were stone quiet. The only sounds I hear were fingers moving across the key boards. It seemed like many people never talked to their coworkers. All communication was via computer. Many people did not even know the names of the people sitting next to them. Spooky!
What do you think about socializing in the office about non work related topics and making friends with coworkers in today's Internet highly competitive age?
Every time I have thought I've had close friends at work, I have found the friendship pretty much dissolved the minute one of us changed jobs. So yeah, they're friends... while we're both working at the same place. But let's not get all sentimental and hung up about those kinds of friendships... they rarely, if ever, last once the employment relationship ends because, at the end of the day, that's the basis for the friendship.
I've been fortunate that the friends I have at work, I keep after one of us leaves. I was a temp once for two months at this property management company and made became friends with this one girl. After my temp stint was over, we continued to communicate, hang out and everything. She ended up being my maid of honor this past March!
I too try and see if the friendship will last after one of us leaves. Sometimes the friendship will dissolve but overall I've kept the friends I've previously worked with. I do agree it makes for an easier work atmosphere but also an uneasy one if there is a tiff or something.
Every time I have thought I've had close friends at work, I have found the friendship pretty much dissolved the minute one of us changed jobs. So yeah, they're friends... while we're both working at the same place. But let's not get all sentimental and hung up about those kinds of friendships... they rarely, if ever, last once the employment relationship ends because, at the end of the day, that's the basis for the friendship.
And we shouldn't because do you really want to meet friends at 30. I know nothing about you. OK you have a job, but what does that really mean about your personality? As a friend you allow someone in your home, around your family and disclose personal feelings. Do you really want to invest this into someone you have not known for 30 years. I tell my co - workers and anyone else who will listen. "If I didn't grow up with you or go to college with you I wont allow you to get that close" and you know what even with that being said I am one of the best co workers to have in the office. I will laugh with you, give you fantasy football advice and sacrifice myself to help you in most situations. I will on occasion watch the baseball games with the rest of the guys in the office at someones house if invited, but most times I will kindly decline. I don't think I'm better than anyone I just know what the limitations of our relationship is and I'm not going to stretch that or give you the impression I am. If you can accept that then we will have a great relationship. If you are upset at me because I didn't fill a void in your life...... SORRY.
I am a lead, so I am aligned with management. As a result I try to not get to close to the staff since it might get in the way of things. Generally I am sociable and friendly, and have a few close friends from workplaces past, but in general, I avoid getting too close with my immediate co-workers.
Every time I have thought I've had close friends at work, I have found the friendship pretty much dissolved the minute one of us changed jobs. So yeah, they're friends... while we're both working at the same place. But let's not get all sentimental and hung up about those kinds of friendships... they rarely, if ever, last once the employment relationship ends because, at the end of the day, that's the basis for the friendship.
I've found that to be the case for me as well. I become friends with people I work with, one of us ends up leaving promising to keep in touch, and more often than not, that hardly ever happens, despite the good intentions. Well, in my case, the friendships in some situations have endured after we part ways, but not for very long. Life goes on... (sigh)
I've been friendly with various people at jobs. At one, I met up with an old high school friend and we stayed friendly for a long time after we both left that job.
There are people who remain friends with co-workers but I see that also you can get into 'competitive' problems at work. Sometimes you can be befriended by someone who gets jealous if you move up the ladder or do well at your job. Also some nasty people will take advantage of you. Let's say you are having problems with a spouse and talk to your 'friend' about them. That person can run and tell others about your situation.
When I worked at one job, a lady (much older than me) was what I thought a good friend--but she was just double dealing.
My husband was very good friends (at work) with some people but through them his boss found out he was looking for another job and he got laid off..
In another case, my father's...he worked as a purchasing manager for a good firm. What happened was eventually the company moved to another state. He worked for them another year or so, staying home on weekends, living in their housing during the week. Okay, well finally it was enough for him (getting too old for that stuff). One of the people he used to buy material from and was very friendly with suddenly 'ditched' my father when he left this job. My father got another similar job a few years later and he's 'friends' with the guy again, and buys from his company.....(my husband and I both still say we'd never do that but the older generation is more 'forgiving' I guess..)
So, yes, be 'friendly' but keep your personal life out of it if you can.
I don't have close friends at work. I never have but I do have a professional network and I'll take the network over friends at work any day.
I think you reach a level professionally where politics are just too active at work to have real friendships as in solid healthy relationships where parties are intimate and open with one another. In the work place information is power.
I love what I do and would like to make my time as pleasant as possible so I'm pleasant and friendly but not building real relationships.
Every job Ive ever had, as far back as memory serves me, have been close to a select few, though getting along with everyone else was important too. There were a couple, here in Calif, where when I lived here before, my bosses and I were 'very' close. The only reason I havent gone back to work for one of my former bosses here is because restraunt is one field I sorta wanted to stay out of these days.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
