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Good grief, you have NO idea how much work it actually takes or even what you're talking about. Your experience comes from "watching", not "doing". You already confessed to being in your mid-20s (hmm...1984?)
Try coming back when you actually have some real "personal" experience and share your views with the ones who've actually walked the walk.
Nice instead of actually replying to what I said you attacked me showing little intelligence. Wither I have kids or not does not matter that does not prove or disprove my point and has nothing to do with my point. Just because I am not a mechanic does not mean I do not know things about cars. You presented a Red herring.
Oh yea? How about a SAHM who gets distracted for a minute with a toddler in the swimming pool discussed above, or in the parking lot? Do you know what the consequences can be then? I don't know many office jobs that require the same level of attention.
That said, I've said it here before and will repeat it - in no way do I consider staying home the hardest job ever, it's not. I do think I have it easier than a lot of other people. So what? It's the best choice for my family and it makes everyone's lives better. So do I need to repent for my sins, or run out to scrub toilets just so I can say 'see I made a grand net of $5/hr today, I'm not lazy!'?
This whole argument is just ridiculous. Why aren't we comparing your standard office worker with a fireman or brain surgeon? Are they lazy because their jobs aren't nearly as hard or stressful? Why even argue about it? If you have the chance to have an easier and less stressful life and this is what works for you and your family, why should that be wrong?
For me, staying home is physically harder and more demanding in some ways, but also infinitely more rewarding and mentally easier. A big part of it that I enjoy knowing that I'm doing this for my child and my family, rather than some random manager. I always hated working in an office, but I've done freelancing and I love it because I get to be my own boss and do it on my own terms. I'm very much a person who is motivated internally rather than externally, and I'm willing to work so much harder when I don't need to be answering to someone else.
How is watching a kid that hard it is what parents working or SAHM do all the time yet I do not hear them complain about it. The moms and kids at the pool or at the mall seem to be having fun. No one is saying it is wrong to be a SAHM they are just saying that the complaints need to stop on how hard it is life is hard you made that decision to be a SAHm so just accept it and be quit about it.
Much like many other kinds of jobs out there, it really depends on how devoted you are to doing it well, whether it's all that difficult. A mediocre or ****-poor SAH parent has to:
1. Make sure their kids don't accidentally kill themselves or each other.
2. Make sure food and drinks are somewhere their kids can get to them.
3. Make sure they don't step in or trip over any messes their kids make.
4. Take Tylenol if they start getting a headache from the noise or chaos that comes from raising children poorly.
A wholly devoted to the cause SAH parent, IMO:
1. Be aware of what their children are doing 80% of the day, for both protection and discipline's sake.
2. Not just cooking/preparing meals but feeding their children healthy food and at fairly regular times.
3. The above is so they can brush their kids'teeth (or make sure they brush their own teeth) at fairly regular times, because it actually isn't the most simple thing to know when it does the most good, and when it actually does harm).
4. Read to or otherwise actively try and teach their children something.
5. Mind what sort of influence they are having on their kids, which extends beyond not saying "bad words" into not just lounging around watching TV or playing on the computer and exercising at least once a day.
6. Mind what the household is running out of and needs to buy the next time they go shopping (How many of us who are employed by someone else have to worry about keeping the supplies we work with well-stocked?)
7. Put the kids down for a nap at a sensible time of day, at ages where it is applicable.
8. Cleaning! Both because they just plain want a clean house and because it serves as a positive influence for their kids.
9. Discipline. In addition to whatever else they may be in the middle of, a good parent will promptly correct their kids when they are misbehaving in any way.
10. Giving their kids baths, or making sure they bathe (properly).
11. Entertain/spend time with them playing. This is important for a child's social and physical development, especially for kids who don't have any siblings.
12. Know that they are always on call. Most places of employment give you breaks you can take for granted. There are no such breaks for SAH parents.
1. Be aware of what their children are doing 80% of the day, for both protection and discipline's sake.
2. Not just cooking/preparing meals but feeding their children healthy food and at fairly regular times.
3. The above is so they can brush their kids'teeth (or make sure they brush their own teeth) at fairly regular times, because it actually isn't the most simple thing to know when it does the most good, and when it actually does harm).
4. Read to or otherwise actively try and teach their children something.
5. Mind what sort of influence they are having on their kids, which extends beyond not saying "bad words" into not just lounging around watching TV or playing on the computer and exercising at least once a day.
6. Mind what the household is running out of and needs to buy the next time they go shopping (How many of us who are employed by someone else have to worry about keeping the supplies we work with well-stocked?)
7. Put the kids down for a nap at a sensible time of day, at ages where it is applicable.
8. Cleaning! Both because they just plain want a clean house and because it serves as a positive influence for their kids.
9. Discipline. In addition to whatever else they may be in the middle of, a good parent will promptly correct their kids when they are misbehaving in any way.
10. Giving their kids baths, or making sure they bathe (properly).
11. Entertain/spend time with them playing. This is important for a child's social and physical development, especially for kids who don't have any siblings.
12. Know that they are always on call. Most places of employment give you breaks you can take for granted. There are no such breaks for SAH parents.
So basically do what every single parent on the planet is expected to do if they want to be a good parent.
Quote:
6. Mind what the household is running out of and needs to buy the next time they go shopping (How many of us who are employed by someone else have to worry about keeping the supplies we work with well-stocked?)
This one is beyond ridiculous.
Do you think my household items just appear out of thin air because I'm at work all day? No, I buy them when I go shopping just like everyone else on the planet.
Last edited by Pyramidsurf; 06-10-2013 at 03:16 PM..
So basically do what every single parent on the planet is expected to do if they want to be a good parent.
Maybe I'm not understanding what your beef is. But I'm gonna gamble and say, Yes! That is generally the standard by which someone is judged as a "good" or "bad" anything.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Vic 2.0
6. Mind what the household is running out of and needs to buy the next time they go shopping (How many of us who are employed by someone else have to worry about keeping the supplies we work with well-stocked?)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pyramidsurf
This one is beyong ridiculous.
Do you think my household items just appear out of thin air because I'm at work all day? No, I buy them when I go shopping just like everyone else on the planet.
Again, it's difficult to tell what your argument really is. My point was that it does require effort to keep track of it so that you can buy them when you go shopping.
Maybe not all SAH parents take this initiative, however, when their other half is at work. I know my wife does.
Maybe I'm not understanding what your beef is. But I'm gonna gamble and say, Yes! That is generally the standard by which someone is judged as a "good" or "bad" anything.
Again, it's difficult to tell what your argument really is. My point was that it does require effort to keep track of it so that you can buy them when you go shopping.
Maybe not all SAH parents take this initiative, however, when their other half is at work. I know my wife does.
I guess it's not a beef, but all of those thing you listed are expected of a parent, working or not.
How is watching a kid that hard it is what parents working or SAHM do all the time yet I do not hear them complain about it. The moms and kids at the pool or at the mall seem to be having fun. No one is saying it is wrong to be a SAHM they are just saying that the complaints need to stop on how hard it is life is hard you made that decision to be a SAHm so just accept it and be quit about it.
who do you hear complaining? Seriously, the only women I know that complain about being sahms are the ones who are really career-oriented and have been forced into staying home for one reason or another, but resent sacrificing their careers.
The moms who chose to stay home, myself included, are mainly happy and grateful to have that opportunity. However, that does not mean that it's not work, that it's all fun all the time or that they can't gripe about it every once in a while - just like working people do, even those who choose to work and love their jobs. And what I was pointing out is that saying that moms with kids at the park or swimming pool are having fun, not 'working', is a false assumption - because while I may 'have fun' with and play with my kid, the 'fun' part only comes from seeing him enjoy it. For me, the activity itself is not especially fun or enjoyable and is not how I would choose to spend my time if I was childless. The reason I do it is because I consider it part of my job as a SAHM to do things that are enjoyable and/or educational for my child, for his benefit. Otherwise, I would much rather be spending that time lying in bed with a book.
But they are expected of stay at home parents all day every day. The monotony alone is worth a mention, in my book.
They are expected of the working parent all day, every day as well. I think some here may be looking for examples that working parents don't do as well. Imo, that would be one on one interaction with the child. Teaching the child, helping him/her reach their mile stones, guiding development, etc, and giving it a F/T commitment. This is a space where at home parents have great advantage.
With that said, I'm now home with my daughter for 6 weeks. She's mostly been a good baby, but things are getting difficult. Trying to keep the house clean is a challenge since she requires so much attention. From reflux to growth spurts I really have my hands full and I'm about done being locked up in the house all day/night with little adult contact. My outside job is more intellectually challenging, but this is a different animal all together. That I'm entirely sleep deprived most days adds to the challenge.
They are expected of the working parent all day, every day as well.
How are all the things I listed (which are specific to taking care of the house and the children) expected of parents who are employed outside the home all day, every day?
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