If Stay at Home Moms Work as Hard as They Say... (employers, accountant)
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I used to work in pediatrics and it was interesting that the children of the SAH moms weren't as well-behaved as the children of the moms who worked. This was a frequent topic of discussion because it was a noticeable pattern.
It wasn't just our office where this was noticed either. When we got together with docs and staff from other offices and clinics it was often mentioned.
When I was a docent at a museum, we noticed this especially with home schooled kids vs kids in a structured environment. I'm sure the reason is that children who go to day care must follow rules and a strict routine.
I always hear stay at home moms complaining about how they work harder than anyone else, they aren't paid, etc, etc.
If this is true, why do I notice a pattern on Facebook, where many single moms I know are posting on FB day and night, posting funny jokes, telling everyone everytime their kid uses the potty chair, talking about all of the tv shows they watch, and posting the latest gossip about their favorite sitcom. They also often post pics of themselves laying at the beach with the kids, taking them out for ice cream and all kinds of other fun things during the summer. One SAH mom actually complains about not being able to decide whether she should hang out at Starbucks, or the book store after eating out for lunch. During school, kids are gone most of the day.
Who has time for all of this fun stuff when you work a "real" job? The only other people I know who have time to do this are those who are unemployed or retired.
I honestly want to know if everyone here thinks that SAH moms are honestly as over-worked as they constantly say they are?
Someone will say I am just trying to bash SAH moms, but i'm not. I just really don't understand how they have time to complain about working so hard all the time, in between applying sunscreen at the beach and drinking Starbucks.
Some people just like to complain (vent). A whole lot of SAHMs are in self-defense mode. Let's face it, if you've got people going around saying that SAHMs do nothing all day, you're going to have SAHMs spontaneously whining about how hard they work all day. It's just their way of defending themselves against the label of "lazy" that so many in society want to put on them.
As has already been mentioned, there are lazy SAH parents, just as there are lazy parents who work.
Jeez, there are so many people out there who have FB on their phones, they're probably spending as much time on FB during the day as SAH parents are!
As for SAH parents spending some time communicating with other adults via computer? I say that can be a really good thing! When you spend 365 days per year...at least 16 hrs per day, with little ones and rare encounters with other adults, you can go friggin' bonkers. When I'd go back to work or take on a private job for someone, OMG!!!!!! VACATION!!!!! ......um, for a little bit. You then realize that the money's nice, but the juggling act can be a bit overwhelming at times.
I do hear what you're saying though, about those who seem to always be on FB, but complain how hard they're working. It's irritating. I mean, you could believe they're working really hard, if you didn't see a post, every 15 min. I think that some people spend all day on the computer, but take "breaks" from it, in order to do their "necessary" tasks.
Easy or hard, try seeing what it would cost you to pay someone to do all the things that a housewife, Stay at home mom, does.
This is a managment job. The person that is home is managing the home, people in it, the money coming into it. A good stay at home mom adds tremendous value to the family organization. For the guys, take care of that manager. Talk to her, make her feel like an important part of the organization. She knows more than you of what is going on with the kids, the home, the neighborhood. She needs to go out on a date and spend time with adults. How bout every Friday night? Buy her flowers and show your appreciation for making your house a home. Oh and clean up after yourselves once in a while. She will love you for that.
I have worked 2 jobs putting myself through school,
worked full time and been home full time with a newborn & toddler.
The time raising little ones was the hardest and most rewarding, its the
time I felt like what I was doing counted the most. There is no way to
compare experiences with others. I was also caring for sick parents and had a
unhelpful hubby at the time. Not enough sleep and no free time, but I
am thankful I got to stay home with them.
As the kids aged it was still hard work but not as hard as the early years.
The OP seems opininated about how hard it is, which may be why moms she knows try to explain
that it's no cake walk. I used to try to explain that to my husband who was critical if dinner was
late and didn't understand that I was running on full speed all day..
That is more true when the kids become school-aged. I can understand being a stay at home mom when you are taking care of toddlers. At that age, mom really IS needed 24/7, and that is a very demanding job.
What happens a lot of times though is that instead of rejoining the workforce when junior goes to school, the mom splits her time between watching soap operas and "volunteering" at the school, i.e. harassing the teachers and administration over everything. Can you imagine having to put up with a bunch of bored helicopter moms complaining day in and day out because you gave junior a bad grade that he deserved or junior was being a punk and you scolded him? That's part of the reason why I never considered teaching as a career.
Your baby doesn't need you 24/7 either. When I took care of my sister's children, they were able to be left unattended for a couple of minutes without anything going wrong. Even in the baby age, you gotta teach your kids that somebody won't be there 24/7 for you.
I would hate that. I've actually seen that and that's one of the reasons I couldn't teach. I would be too tired and too busy to deal with some soccer that was mad over their bratty lil children. Women like that usually think their kids can do no wrong and they blame everybody else.
Housewives (a.k.a. "stay at home moms") do work hard. The problem is, they're unemployed. Their labor is unpaid, uncounted, untaxed. Until they head back to the paid workforce, housewives inhabit a shadow existence of grueling, invisible work.
Why do you need to get paid and tax for doing somebody you're supposed to be doing as a PARENT? What did you think was going to happen when you have kids? Nobody is entitled to get paid or taxed for being a parent...get real.
I'm a "stay at home" right now (I'm a school employee and am off for the summer). My kids are long grown, but I told DH that since he's working and I'm not, I would take care of all the cleaning, yard work and vegetable gardens. The chores on this place never end. Which is why I haven't had time to post much on here lately!!!!
Even if you're working a little bit, then you are a working class citizen, not a housewife nor a stay-at-home-mom.
Some people just like to complain (vent). A whole lot of SAHMs are in self-defense mode. Let's face it, if you've got people going around saying that SAHMs do nothing all day, you're going to have SAHMs spontaneously whining about how hard they work all day. It's just their way of defending themselves against the label of "lazy" that so many in society want to put on them.
As has already been mentioned, there are lazy SAH parents, just as there are lazy parents who work.
Jeez, there are so many people out there who have FB on their phones, they're probably spending as much time on FB during the day as SAH parents are!
As for SAH parents spending some time communicating with other adults via computer? I say that can be a really good thing! When you spend 365 days per year...at least 16 hrs per day, with little ones and rare encounters with other adults, you can go friggin' bonkers. When I'd go back to work or take on a private job for someone, OMG!!!!!! VACATION!!!!! ......um, for a little bit. You then realize that the money's nice, but the juggling act can be a bit overwhelming at times.
I do hear what you're saying though, about those who seem to always be on FB, but complain how hard they're working. It's irritating. I mean, you could believe they're working really hard, if you didn't see a post, every 15 min. I think that some people spend all day on the computer, but take "breaks" from it, in order to do their "necessary" tasks.
How do you think working women feel when you have uppity, preachy judgemental mothers who say mess like:
"Oh I just couldn't leave my children with a stranger!"
"I bet you would stay at home with your children if you could like I do."
''I have the hardest job in the world!"(They usually say this is a passive aggressive snobby tone when talking to somebody that has a sucky blue collar job.)
"SAHM raise better children than working women." I have yet to see any evidence of this.
Easy or hard, try seeing what it would cost you to pay someone to do all the things that a housewife, Stay at home mom, does.
This is a managment job. The person that is home is managing the home, people in it, the money coming into it. A good stay at home mom adds tremendous value to the family organization. For the guys, take care of that manager. Talk to her, make her feel like an important part of the organization. She knows more than you of what is going on with the kids, the home, the neighborhood. She needs to go out on a date and spend time with adults. How bout every Friday night? Buy her flowers and show your appreciation for making your house a home. Oh and clean up after yourselves once in a while. She will love you for that.
Just about everybody does what a housewife does everyday...what's your point?
I don't expect to get any accolades for vacuuming or washing dishes after people or choosing to have children I complain about.
Location: East of Seattle since 1992, 615' Elevation, Zone 8b - originally from SF Bay Area
44,553 posts, read 81,067,970 times
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The only stay at home moms I know of these days are the wife of a foreign tech employee at Microsoft or Amazon who doesn't have a work permit, and they would be working too if they could. It's really rare, and as they become even more rare those few left feel left out and feel like they have to justify their career choice. I do know someone that has toddler twins with a live-in nanny who also cooks and cleans for $10 hour (7 hours a day) with only Sunday off. That amount to
$1,680/month, or $20,160/year, or about 1/4 of what the mother makes in her Accounting job.
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