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Old 08-07-2013, 09:56 AM
 
2,349 posts, read 5,436,140 times
Reputation: 3062

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Quote:
Originally Posted by victimofGM View Post
Forward to HR and explain the situation.
Risky.

HR isn' there to help you; HR is there to protect the company from you.

I would find subtle opportunities to get to know these individuals, one on one. Be sincere. Eventually, most people will warm up. Write off the hurtful stuff as miscommunication - we've all said hurtful things without wanting to be hurtful.
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Old 08-07-2013, 10:08 AM
 
2,845 posts, read 6,013,580 times
Reputation: 3749
Quote:
Originally Posted by summer_land View Post
Thank you for all your responses. Sadly, I know my only way now is to look for a new job. I have submitted dozens of job applications last night alone already and also been saving more money in the event I really do have to quit and there is no replacement job.
I'm really sorry hun, I hope you find something soon!
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Old 08-07-2013, 10:29 AM
 
17,815 posts, read 25,637,334 times
Reputation: 36278
Quote:
Originally Posted by plmokn View Post
Risky.

HR isn' there to help you; HR is there to protect the company from you.

I would find subtle opportunities to get to know these individuals, one on one. Be sincere. Eventually, most people will warm up. Write off the hurtful stuff as miscommunication - we've all said hurtful things without wanting to be hurtful.
I agree with you about HR, but the OP said this is a firm with 5 people, there is no HR.

But you're wrong on your second comment. Someone who sends an email making fun of someone who lost a baby is most certainly doing it to be hurtful.

We all say things in anger that we regret later, but this was an "on purpose" , and by no means a mistake or done in a moment of anger.

Doesn't get much lower than that.
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Old 08-07-2013, 12:02 PM
YAZ
 
Location: Phoenix,AZ
7,708 posts, read 14,086,783 times
Reputation: 7044
Quote:
Originally Posted by convextech View Post
Isn't that a confidentiality issue? I didn't think about that.

That's a big-time no-no.
It's huge.

That's why the OP needs to document everything.

I'd be making a hard copy of that e-mail.
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Old 08-07-2013, 12:05 PM
YAZ
 
Location: Phoenix,AZ
7,708 posts, read 14,086,783 times
Reputation: 7044
Quote:
Originally Posted by seain dublin View Post
I agree with you about HR, but the OP said this is a firm with 5 people, there is no HR.

But you're wrong on your second comment. Someone who sends an email making fun of someone who lost a baby is most certainly doing it to be hurtful.

We all say things in anger that we regret later, but this was an "on purpose" , and by no means a mistake or done in a moment of anger.

Doesn't get much lower than that.
And very stupid to have a record of it (e-mail). That's how idiotic these gals are......they have tied and tightened their own nooses.
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Old 08-07-2013, 12:12 PM
YAZ
 
Location: Phoenix,AZ
7,708 posts, read 14,086,783 times
Reputation: 7044
Quote:
Originally Posted by summer_land View Post
Thank you for all your responses. Sadly, I know my only way now is to look for a new job. I have submitted dozens of job applications last night alone already and also been saving more money in the event I really do have to quit and there is no replacement job.
If anyone deserves recourse, you do.

Look into it.

Your boss isn't allowed to divulge your personal health issues to the rest of the office.
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Old 08-07-2013, 02:40 PM
 
Location: Washington D.C.
560 posts, read 1,130,322 times
Reputation: 816
i swear to you if you lay into them once they will leave you alone. tell the boss still because if work place bullying is causing you grief and your boss did nothing to stop it after documented attempts to let him know about it, then get a lawyer
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Old 08-07-2013, 02:50 PM
 
Location: On the corner of Grey Street
6,126 posts, read 10,108,604 times
Reputation: 11796
Only an absolute low life would make fun of someone after they lost their baby whether they like you as a person or not. That's absolutely horrible. I don't know what you can do if it's such a small company, but if they made fun of you for something your boss shouldn't even have shared with them in the first place, AND they did it over company e-mail, then I would print out a copy and confront that person. A lot of people do whatever they want thinking no one will ever call them out, and they are quick to back down when someone really does. Still, I hope you find another job soon. I would not want to stay there after that.
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Old 08-07-2013, 04:59 PM
 
17,815 posts, read 25,637,334 times
Reputation: 36278
Quote:
Originally Posted by YAZ View Post
And very stupid to have a record of it (e-mail). That's how idiotic these gals are......they have tied and tightened their own nooses.

Exactly, I would guess these women are on the young side. I notice a trend today with many younger people, they don't seem to get that saying something is one thing, making comments like this in an email or posting it on Facebook leaves a record behind of what you said.

Quote:
Originally Posted by strawberrykiki View Post
Only an absolute low life would make fun of someone after they lost their baby whether they like you as a person or not. That's absolutely horrible. I don't know what you can do if it's such a small company, but if they made fun of you for something your boss shouldn't even have shared with them in the first place, AND they did it over company e-mail, then I would print out a copy and confront that person. A lot of people do whatever they want thinking no one will ever call them out, and they are quick to back down when someone really does. Still, I hope you find another job soon. I would not want to stay there after that.

I agree, this person needs to be confronted and have it done in front of an audience. It will make them look like the lowlife they are and should nip it in the bud.

It was beyond cruel to do that.
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Old 08-08-2013, 01:06 PM
 
Location: Middle Earth
951 posts, read 1,140,635 times
Reputation: 1877
I initially told the two owners of the company and her that I was in the hospital with complications. I was 21 weeks at the time, and 4 days later my baby was born prematurely. He did not make it. She is the only female in the firm, and so at that time, I thought I could trust her and tell her about my pregnancy. I mean I was walking around with a big belly already, so how can I hide? She kept acting like she was happy for me, etc., so at the time, I had no problem telling her about my situation since she told me she went through miscarriages before. I excluded the 4th person because (surprise!) he was not happy with me the previous day about something I didn't even do, so I didn't feel like including him in my email.

A year into my job, they made me the compliance person at the firm, and I have access to all the employees' emails. That's when I discovered her emails that she clearly did not like me; these were written less than a month from the time I started. I have since discovered more evidence where she has lied to the bosses about my work performance and put words in my mouth that I did not say or do.

My question is can I still use this "evidence" and show the bosses if that day should arrive? Because even though I do have access and was rightfully given access, I don't think the bosses were expecting me to dig into people's emails either.

I also thought about this last night (I have been getting sleepless nights because of them two coworkers). I thought that since I'm still the compliance admin and I am in charge of putting policies and procedures at our workplace [after final approval from the Chief Compliance Officer (my boss)], I could possibly suggest to my him that we should implement a No Tolerance Anti-Bullying Policy in our Code of Ethics. I did some research last night and what she has done is clearly bullying. He'll want to know why and I can tell him the exact reason why. If he says no, then I'll still tell him the reason why and I'll ask him why not? Don't you want to protect your employees and commit to safe working environment? Maybe this won't get her fired, but at least this will help reveal who she really is to them, and that I'm not exactly the terrible employee she has made me out to be. (As terrible as she has tried to make me look, I still have gotten good reviews from the bosses.)

I don't know...should I even bother? A part of me really wants to let this out even if it means I end up quitting. I don't want to keep this inside anymore. I have tried telling them in the past, but they do not know how bad it really is.
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