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OP, can you leave Florida? California is nice and warm, too :-)
I used to live in Davis, CA. Lots of families there with same sex parents. Great schools. University town. Less hectic and safer than SF Bay Area.
But in CA, unless you moved to the redneck boonies, you'd be comfortable going anywhere as a family. Plus, you and your partner could be added to one or the other's health insurance/company benefits.
Well we are originally from the Northeast so all this backwards Florida stuff is new to me. Now that we are having a family, I am really considering leaving Florida. However, we just both got new jobs that are great opportunities and we trying to pay off debt. Florida is much cheaper and we will be done with debt much sooner, at which point I'm going to push for the move. For now, we stay here.
I honestly don't think they will fire me. Maybe I'm making too much of a big deal out of it. It's just that up north, no one even blinks an eye, here it seems like a bigger deal. No one will probably even care though, but I would rather err on the side of caution. I don't want to talk about my personal life. What movie I saw or how my puppy is doing, OK, but I just don't want to share my personal family business.
Keep it to the generic "partner" without skipping a beat. Only the open-minded will catch-on and they won't care.
And yes - there are laws that protect you, even if you are in the south. They can't discriminate for your gender, your pregnancy, or your orientation. If you are a good, happy worker - they will not even want to test those laws.
Only some states "protect" orientation.
Basically if the state has a law allowing civil unions, they will protect orientation, but I don't think Florida does.
And those opposed to civil unions will also catch on, which is still 45% of the population. That's not 4.5%. 45% is nearly half.
Well we are originally from the Northeast so all this backwards Florida stuff is new to me. Now that we are having a family, I am really considering leaving Florida. However, we just both got new jobs that are great opportunities and we trying to pay off debt. Florida is much cheaper and we will be done with debt much sooner, at which point I'm going to push for the move. For now, we stay here.
I honestly don't think they will fire me. Maybe I'm making too much of a big deal out of it. It's just that up north, no one even blinks an eye, here it seems like a bigger deal. No one will probably even care though, but I would rather err on the side of caution. I don't want to talk about my personal life. What movie I saw or how my puppy is doing, OK, but I just don't want to share my personal family business.
Inevitably though, you will, even if accidentally.
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Last edited by 7G9C4J2; 09-06-2013 at 09:49 PM..
Reason: Removed unnecessary portion
it depends on what sort of pregnant woman you are? Are you going to be out everytime you sneeze? Are you going to be demanding of others in regards to what they eat or smell like? Are you going to schedule all your dr visits and tests during your shift hours? Or...are others going to be able to continue with their lives and not have to center their lives around yours? I have had coworkers on both sides of the isle and I'll tell ya, I had alot more respect and consideration for the gal who carried her pregnancy, gave birth, was out of work for three weeks and returned full force, rather than the one who sent flyers via email to every staff member (2,300 of us) and rented a community center in order to invite everyone to her own baby shower and then took four months off work, came back and disrupted our entire dept.
It's all up to you.
Koale
I'm happily childfree so I will refrain about making comments on pregnancy and parents. I've also had coworkers who used parenthood to get over on others. Employers always want to stick the childless people covering for the parents, as if we don't have sibling/aging parents to care for. Like our own family should just die off so the parents can be satisfied.In some workplaces, childfree are considered less than human or having less needs than everyone else. Some parents act entitled, not everyone obviously. And yes, some employers glorify and over placate them. But when this happens, there is no changing this. You just have to find another place to work.Employer sets the tone.
I think the childfree people should form their own segregated communities including their own employers and coworkers who have same status.It simplifies life for everyone. I treat everyone equally at work regardless of familial status. Problem arises when you have others who don't do the same.
This was an extreme and rare situation once. I actually had an interview where the 2 women kept asking me questions and mentioning that I would specifically be "covering for them when they had to be out due to their kids". One arrogantly asked how often I could "stay late if asked at the last minute." And "how accommodating I can be when....". I felt like asking if she was looking for a doormat servant to stand in for her. The subject was so one sided I started to wonder, with all this "covering" for these 2, who would actually be doing my job? The entire interview revolved around this issue. I felt like asking how many kids did the 2 have between them - 10? Of course I was polite but very happy they didn't make me an offer. When it was over and I left I kept thinking, were they serious or just messin' with me for the hell of it? Some employers like to play head games because they can; because they have the job and we are unemployed.
I don't open up to just anyone about personal life. It is a defense mechanism because I was a social outcast through high school. I'll open up with older people because they don't judge me as much. People in my age group, is a different story and I must have a form of trust or commorodity with them to REALLY open up to them.
it depends on what sort of pregnant woman you are? Are you going to be out everytime you sneeze? Are you going to be demanding of others in regards to what they eat or smell like? Are you going to schedule all your dr visits and tests during your shift hours? Or...are others going to be able to continue with their lives and not have to center their lives around yours? I have had coworkers on both sides of the isle and I'll tell ya, I had alot more respect and consideration for the gal who carried her pregnancy, gave birth, was out of work for three weeks and returned full force, rather than the one who sent flyers via email to every staff member (2,300 of us) and rented a community center in order to invite everyone to her own baby shower and then took four months off work, came back and disrupted our entire dept.
It's all up to you.
Koale
Yes, you are correct. I made it a point to find an OBGYN that works Saturdays, so that most of my appointments are on the weekend. I have never demanded anything of anyone and don't expect to start now. I am hoping to carry on so that my pregnancy is a non-issue. Period. I'm not going to talk about it, or have any baby showers.
I'm happily childfree so I will refrain about making comments on pregnancy and parents. I've also had coworkers who used parenthood to get over on others. Employers always want to stick the childless people covering for the parents, as if we don't have sibling/aging parents to care for. Like our own family should just die off so the parents can be satisfied.In some workplaces, childfree are considered less than human or having less needs than everyone else. Some parents act entitled, not everyone obviously. And yes, some employers glorify and over placate them. But when this happens, there is no changing this. You just have to find another place to work.Employer sets the tone.
I think the childfree people should form their own segregated communities including their own employers and coworkers who have same status.It simplifies life for everyone. I treat everyone equally at work regardless of familial status. Problem arises when you have others who don't do the same.
Early in my career I have been the one to be in the office while the people with kids did their thing, or had to be out. As I progress in my career, I go by the motto that I use in my everyday life "you teach people how to treat you." If you get work dumped on you because you are single and all the people with kids have to leave, then just say you need to leave because your dog is at home, you have to take care of household duties etc. I say that all the time. I am a team player though and if someone's kid is sick, I'll pick up the slack. Now that I'm having a child I can only hope that the same will be done for me, but I won't have any shame in saying I have to leave early because my child is sick. Obviously if it gets out of hand, my manger and I will have a conversation. I think child free people assume that if they speak up and say no, that something bad will happen, I don't think that to be the case. You have a job description and tasks that you need to do for your own job. Anything outside of that is being a team player and you decide how much of a team player you want to be. You can't go to bat every turn.
This was an extreme and rare situation once. I actually had an interview where the 2 women kept asking me questions and mentioning that I would specifically be "covering for them when they had to be out due to their kids". One arrogantly asked how often I could "stay late if asked at the last minute." And "how accommodating I can be when....". I felt like asking if she was looking for a doormat servant to stand in for her. The subject was so one sided I started to wonder, with all this "covering" for these 2, who would actually be doing my job? The entire interview revolved around this issue. I felt like asking how many kids did the 2 have between them - 10? Of course I was polite but very happy they didn't make me an offer. When it was over and I left I kept thinking, were they serious or just messin' with me for the hell of it? Some employers like to play head games because they can; because they have the job and we are unemployed.
You know what, those women were probably at the company a LONG time and probably had to do what they wanted you to do. I wouldn't want to work somewhere like that. I'm sick of places like that, that are ruled by a few women who have spent their entire careers there.
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this whole thing depends...
