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Old 10-04-2013, 07:02 AM
 
3,028 posts, read 4,986,042 times
Reputation: 3316

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Quote:
Originally Posted by spencgr View Post
First, DO NOT attempt to brown-nose. It is a disgusting behavior and you will lose the respect of your peers.

Second, you must establish a good relationship with your manager (and anyone else you work with). I received some very helpful advice once regarding building relationships. Find at least one thing that you two have in common. This can be kids, dogs, running, born in Florida, love of penguins, love of the Penguins; essentially anything that can match you two. Next time you are in her office, look around. Can you find anything?

Once you find that thing, that is what you should lead with when starting conversations. Since you both enjoy this topic, it should be a fun, fluid, real conversation; not something a brown-noser would have. Then you can go into a work question. You will find the questions will be much better received because you've just had a brief, pleasant, "non-work" conversation.

Do not attempt to force a conversation with a topic you don't care about, but she does. (This is what brown-nosers typically do.) If you really don't care about her kids; don't ask her about them. Your feigned interest will come off as phony. You have to find something that interests you both.

When you find it, you'll find a vast improvement in the relationship.
I agree with this.

Some people think any kind of good word or chit-chat is brown nosing. There are ways to be sociable without brown-nosing. Talking about sports is not brown nosing if you're both in to it. When someone does a project well it's ok to congratulate them, whether it's your boss or a co-worker. That's not brown nosing. Being an agreeable human being is not brown nosing.

Here's what I think of as being a good team member:
- Don't bad mouth your team or your boss. Actually, don't bad mouth anyone at all.
- Stand by your team/boss' decision. If you have a different opinion, bring it to them privately.
- Be good at your job. As part of that, don't dump your work on others.
- Don't go around your boss (unless it's an HR issue), and don't make anyone look bad.

To me, a brown noser is someone that gossips (mainly negative) about other co-workers with the boss, nods sagely and agrees with everything the boss says, and is always complimenting the boss.
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Old 10-04-2013, 07:35 AM
 
Location: Louisiana and Pennsylvania
3,011 posts, read 6,293,500 times
Reputation: 3128
Quote:
Originally Posted by WSPHXPELON View Post
Don't brown nose, just do your job well. Quality work that you produce will reflect positively on your boss and she will begin to value you more and more as the "backbone" of your agency. That, combined with the fact that you never kissed her ass will make her realize your value as an employee, and also respect you as a person for having never bowed down to her. Brown nosers make temporarily get some "perks", but ultimately they are never respected.
I agree..work hard, and then some. Even the "hardest" boss will respect you. They may not like you, but they will respect you, albeit in a subtle way.

There is nothing more pathetic and disgusting than a co-worker who intentionally badmouths and castigates other co-workers to the supervisor and/or in meetings where everyone is present. When the director is around I'm surprised he doesn't offer to shine his shoes. it's a pretty sad sight to see. We have one such person here and it hasn't won him any allies.
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Old 10-04-2013, 11:54 AM
 
28,110 posts, read 63,531,084 times
Reputation: 23235
The management team at one company all came from the same High School...

No one even knew that when they were hired over the span of 10 years.

Interesting how it just worked out that way... at least I thought so and also graduated from the same High School which was a plus after being here a few years.

So my vote is something in common outside work.
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Old 10-04-2013, 07:37 PM
 
Location: On The Road Full Time RVing
2,341 posts, read 3,488,512 times
Reputation: 2230
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I hate the idea of company sucks they are the worst ! ! !
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