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Every time I've ever gone though sexual harassment training on the job, they made it pretty clear that it's gender neutral (meaning that both men and women can be accused of it). I think what happens is that most men don't report it. Maybe as Mainebroker said, they just aren't as offended by it, but I think a lot of times it's the stigma that would come with it if a man did complain.
Where this stigma is really bad though is in domestic violence. People don't think of men being victims of abuse, but they are. I have a friend who is a mixed martial artist and his ex-wife beat on him. She punched him. And while he "could" have hit back he didn't. He reported it to the police, but when they came to the house, guess who was escorted away? Him! The victim. I bet if all that was reversed and he was a she and he was a she, my friend would have been able to hit back, wouldn't be forced to leave his home, and his spouse would probably be in cuffs.
I have to agree that there is a double standard and injustice to it. But you can add it to the long line of double standards and injustices that both men and women face due to their sex. I don't think either sex "has it easy" each just faces different challenges and endures different injustices. I am really not sure what can be done about it other than people speaking up and slowly changing the opinion of society as a whole.
Every time I've ever gone though sexual harassment training on the job, they made it pretty clear that it's gender neutral (meaning that both men and women can be accused of it). I think what happens is that most men don't report it. Maybe as Mainebroker said, they just aren't as offended by it, but I think a lot of times it's the stigma that would come with it if a man did complain.
Where this stigma is really bad though is in domestic violence. People don't think of men being victims of abuse, but they are. I have a friend who is a mixed martial artist and his ex-wife beat on him. She punched him. And while he "could" have hit back he didn't. He reported it to the police, but when they came to the house, guess who was escorted away? Him! The victim. I bet if all that was reversed and he was a she and he was a she, my friend would have been able to hit back, wouldn't be forced to leave his home, and his spouse would probably be in cuffs.
There is definitely a double standard domestic violence, stalking, harrassment toward men that probably isn't going to change until more men stand up and say "no, this happened to me, and it's not acceptable or funny or harmless and I'm not weak because I don't like it." Obviously the women who have no boundaries or think that they can get away with bad behavior because they're women are at fault, but the kind of guys who pull the "what, you couldn't stand up to a little woman?" or "I'd love it if women grabbed my butt!" and don't take harassment of other men seriously aren't helping.
Every time I've ever gone though sexual harassment training on the job, they made it pretty clear that it's gender neutral (meaning that both men and women can be accused of it). I think what happens is that most men don't report it. Maybe as Mainebroker said, they just aren't as offended by it, but I think a lot of times it's the stigma that would come with it if a man did complain.
Where this stigma is really bad though is in domestic violence. People don't think of men being victims of abuse, but they are. I have a friend who is a mixed martial artist and his ex-wife beat on him. She punched him. And while he "could" have hit back he didn't. He reported it to the police, but when they came to the house, guess who was escorted away? Him! The victim. I bet if all that was reversed and he was a she and he was a she, my friend would have been able to hit back, wouldn't be forced to leave his home, and his spouse would probably be in cuffs.
I have to agree that there is a double standard and injustice to it. But you can add it to the long line of double standards and injustices that both men and women face due to their sex. I don't think either sex "has it easy" each just faces different challenges and endures different injustices. I am really not sure what can be done about it other than people speaking up and slowly changing the opinion of society as a whole.
I agree - and it's truly sad that men who are abused aren't taken as seriously. I know of one such case and it ended tragically. Beyond tragically.
BUT - that's not what the OP is saying! See the OP below. It's not really about sexual harassment or abuse at all. He doesn't seem to have any idea as to what he's talking about and instead is just calling women hypocrites because some women complain about getting hit on and some women are aggressive. And somehow - the fact that these two different types of women exist - that makes all women hypocrites. He also doesn't seem to have a true understanding of what sexual harassment and sexual assault really are like.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Veyron
Women complain alot about sexual harrasment by men and its true women deal with sexual harrasment much more often then men do. I repeat women deal with it much more often then men do but MEN DEAL with HIGHER LEVELS of sexual harrasment.
BY FAR women are more aggresive because THEY KNOW THEY CAN GET AWAY WITH IT.
How many times has a women who likes you approach you and find an excuse to touch you? She will touch your arms playfully without any permission. Fellas have you ever rejected a girl you werent attracted too? What was her response? Ive been insulted, pressured, and ridiculed by girls I wasnt attracted too.
The things women do if men did would land them in jail instantly. Girls will grab, touch and make sexual gestures without even knowing a guy.
Now Ive been sexually harrassed by girls I didnt like but I shrugged it off, as most men do.
My complaint is how do men get sued, arrested and thrown in jail for trying to spark up a conversation with a girl?
If you wear clothes that look like under clothes, of course men are going to stare but we get in trouble for it. Meanwhile, girls who pinch guys butts or grab men's arms get away scott free.
Im not talking about mutal attraction here fellas; I'm talking about women you have zero interest in straight up harrasing you.
How many times has a women who likes you approach you and find an excuse to touch you? She will touch your arms playfully without any permission. Fellas have you ever rejected a girl you werent attracted too? What was her response? Ive been insulted, pressured, and ridiculed by girls I wasnt attracted too.
Uh. Never, never, and not applicable.
As far as women harassing men, HARASS ME LADIES, PRETTY PLEASE!?
Well, he's long out of that relationship now. But it was rough for him--there just isn't the understanding or support that there is for women. And like I said, I think a lot of it is men themselves--they don't want to report that sort of thing as it can feel emasculating. Most abuse *does* happen to women, but the men out there who are abused face not only the abuse but judgement and often ridicule. It reminds me of the old fashion notion that a women who was raped was "asking for it" (blame the victim).
I think I took this off topic... but I think it is all related to the main topic.
I agree - and it's truly sad that men who are abused aren't taken as seriously. I know of one such case and it ended tragically. Beyond tragically.
BUT - that's not what the OP is saying! See the OP below. It's not really about sexual harassment or abuse at all. He doesn't seem to have any idea as to what he's talking about and instead is just calling women hypocrites because some women complain about getting hit on and some women are aggressive. And somehow - the fact that these two different types of women exist - that makes all women hypocrites. He also doesn't seem to have a true understanding of what sexual harassment and sexual assault really are like.
True... I was talking about the real deal (real harassment and abuse). Maybe the OP should post to the threads where men complain that women "never" approach.
Women complain alot about sexual harrasment by men and its true women deal with sexual harrasment much more often then men do. I repeat women deal with it much more often then men do but MEN DEAL with HIGHER LEVELS of sexual harrasment.
BY FAR women are more aggresive because THEY KNOW THEY CAN GET AWAY WITH IT.
How many times has a women who likes you approach you and find an excuse to touch you? She will touch your arms playfully without any permission. Fellas have you ever rejected a girl you werent attracted too? What was her response? Ive been insulted, pressured, and ridiculed by girls I wasnt attracted too.
The things women do if men did would land them in jail instantly. Girls will grab, touch and make sexual gestures without even knowing a guy.
Now Ive been sexually harrassed by girls I didnt like but I shrugged it off, as most men do.
My complaint is how do men get sued, arrested and thrown in jail for trying to spark up a conversation with a girl?
If you wear clothes that look like under clothes, of course men are going to stare but we get in trouble for it. Meanwhile, girls who pinch guys butts or grab men's arms get away scott free.
Im not talking about mutal attraction here fellas; I'm talking about women you have zero interest in straight up harrasing you.
How did this double standard come to be?
Not long ago an extremely unattractive woman offered to hook up with me. She isa friend of a friend. Her personality was bad, and I had no interest in her physically. I politely declined her offer.
Her response was to literally grab my crotch and tell me how 'nothing was there anyway'.
I'm not sure why she expected me to be aroused, all the while rejecting her.
The next time I met up with my friend and her friend (the one I rejected), the nasty woman proceeded to make a scene for an hour telling me that I must be gay and "that's ok, some people don't even KNOW they are gay." Thanks, and although there is nothing wrong with not being straight, but I AM straight, and making a scene in front of a group of people like that was really rude and trashy.
Oddly, my friend invited me out a couple times after that, but I think my friend picked up on me neglecting to meet up, stating; "FYI, (crazy person) comes out with me EVERY time."
I just laughed. Ok. I guess that means my friend would rather hang out with trash than me. No loss for me.
Also, one time at a bar, a particular group of women grabbed my butt literally 10 times within a span of 30 ish minutes.
When I was in my 20's, I would guess that my butt got grabbed once forevery concert I went to.
But..... just last night, I was at a local pub. Decent place, decent crowd..... except managemenh. This off duty bar manager was harrassing the **** out of this pretty bartender. He WOULDNT stop, for about an hour. "when are you giving me your number?" "when are we going out?" Dude was like 35ish, and shes like 25ish. For an hour this went on. He was sitting next to me. I felt really bad for the. bartender, as I was getting mad just listenin to that tool. If his other two manager friends werent there also, I probably would have had word with the guy. But apparantly, the mangers think itsok, so its not my business. 2 guys watched and listened to their buddy for over an hour. f thaaaaaaaaaaat. I'm never going back to that bar again. Might as well be run by animals. Looks like a REALLY respectable place.
The next time I met up with my friend and her friend (the one I rejected), the nasty woman proceeded to make a scene for an hour telling me that I must be gay and "that's ok, some people don't even KNOW they are gay."
Tell her you didn't know you were gay until you met her.
Unfortunately, this is a case of one person ruining it for many. And I think many people miss the big picture - which is that this is exactly why these sexual harassment laws are there in the first place. If there were no rapists - women wouldn't be able to falsely accuse someone of rape. If there was no sexual harassment at work in the first place - that woman in your office wouldn't have been able to make a big deal out of nothing. The laws are in place to protect the people who legitimately need protecting - and there are many such people.
Quote:
Originally Posted by jillabean
Every time I've ever gone though sexual harassment training on the job, they made it pretty clear that it's gender neutral (meaning that both men and women can be accused of it). I think what happens is that most men don't report it. Maybe as Mainebroker said, they just aren't as offended by it, but I think a lot of times it's the stigma that would come with it if a man did complain.
Where this stigma is really bad though is in domestic violence. People don't think of men being victims of abuse, but they are. I have a friend who is a mixed martial artist and his ex-wife beat on him. She punched him. And while he "could" have hit back he didn't. He reported it to the police, but when they came to the house, guess who was escorted away? Him! The victim. I bet if all that was reversed and he was a she and he was a she, my friend would have been able to hit back, wouldn't be forced to leave his home, and his spouse would probably be in cuffs.
I have to agree that there is a double standard and injustice to it. But you can add it to the long line of double standards and injustices that both men and women face due to their sex. I don't think either sex "has it easy" each just faces different challenges and endures different injustices. I am really not sure what can be done about it other than people speaking up and slowly changing the opinion of society as a whole.
Quote:
Originally Posted by fleetiebelle
There is definitely a double standard domestic violence, stalking, harrassment toward men that probably isn't going to change until more men stand up and say "no, this happened to me, and it's not acceptable or funny or harmless and I'm not weak because I don't like it." Obviously the women who have no boundaries or think that they can get away with bad behavior because they're women are at fault, but the kind of guys who pull the "what, you couldn't stand up to a little woman?" or "I'd love it if women grabbed my butt!" and don't take harassment of other men seriously aren't helping.
Good posts. One of my very closest friends was falsely accused of sexual assault, and he was convicted although she was lying. It destroyed him. I have nothing but contempt for women who lie about stuff like this, and who use our legal system to lash out at a man.
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