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This is so damn true. I also notice it when it cones to violence lots of times. A woman can hit a man but not the other way around.
Now on this point I can agree. I have seen many women slap a guy for cheating on them. I mean if a guy cheats on you, just walk away. But if a woman were to cheat on a man and the man finds out and he slaps her, then all hell breaks loose.
I believe that we are experiencing the reality of biology here.
For millennia, men have been physically stronger and socially dominant. They aren't necessarily anymore. But if I grab a man's butt with lascivious intent, the plain truth is that he can stop me by force.
Law, chivalry, weapons and recent decades of attempts to erase gender differences leave some folks totally dismissing our basic state. Men aren't taken seriously because we are programmed to value the fact that they can defend themselves, and women often can't.
I've just defaulted to the position of not being all that friendly with females at work. I know this makes me seem cold sometimes, but I am not willing to leave even the slightest room for interpretation.
Location: where people are either too stupid to leave or too stuck to move
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Djuna
I know right...gosh, those poor men, so afraid of us evil, overtly sexual feminists who are lurking around just waiting to grab a hold of a man's package. We should all be ashamed of ourselves.
When I was in grad school (this incident was in November 2001), I was kicked out of the Catholic organization and forced to see a psychiatrist because I "made a woman uncomfortable". When I asked what exactly did I do wrong, I was told that they were "not at liberty" to tell me what I did wrong, since they feared I would retaliate against the accuser. To this day, I honestly still have no idea what I did that could have made a woman uncomfortable. Not being told what I was accused of gave me no chance to defend myself (if falsely accused) or to modify my behavior in the future (if rightfully accused). Most of the members of this organization (both genders) agreed with me, and at least one female member quit because of how I was treated.
When I was in 7th grade (this incident was in June 1992, a few months after Clarence Thomas's confirmation hearings), a girl in my homeroom, named Cindy, was playfully calling me the names of various fictional characters. I then joined in, and called her Cinderella (since her name was Cindy). Even though Cindy had no problem with me calling her that, my homeroom teacher reported me to the assistant principal for sexual harassment. I was given 2 days of detention, and was addressed by the assistant principal as a "juvenile delinquent".
Unfortunately, this is a case of one person ruining it for many. And I think many people miss the big picture - which is that this is exactly why these sexual harassment laws are there in the first place. If there were no rapists - women wouldn't be able to falsely accuse someone of rape. If there was no sexual harassment at work in the first place - that woman in your office wouldn't have been able to make a big deal out of nothing. The laws are in place to protect the people who legitimately need protecting - and there are many such people.
Dewdrop93 - as you say, there is a much bigger picture here. This is just a sociological situation of the rights of minority groups, and womens' rights have been just as important as any other minority group, whether it be for race, gender, religion or health. This is why it's ok to have a "Miss Black America" pageant and not a "Miss White America" pageant. It's ok to have areas of Quebec where no English signs are allowed, but it's not okay for Toronto to have a NO FRENCH PLEASE sign anywhere. It's discrimination but it's known as "reverse discrimination" --- against the majority and in favour of the minority group.
Whether we agree with it or not, it's very similar to (as Yellow Jacket said) to little brother being treated less harshly than big brother, or to your dad letting you win at checkers when you were 8. No-one will complain if you hire all blacks, but if you hire only whites, look for the race relations boards to start looking into your company. It's an attempt to make things fair, and yes, the perceived inferior group can get away with a lot more.
If I hear most guys in the thread, they are much like myself, and don't view a lot of interaction with the opposite sex to be harassment.
This seems to be to be the crux of the matter - each gender, and each member of the gender have a different definition of what harassment is.
And unfortunately, this has wrecked one of my favourite dynamics in the workplace; the kibitzing that takes place between men and women. It is no longer that the person you are joking with is offended - someone not even related to the conversation can have you dragged in for harassment.
Should anyone ever be made to feel uncomfortable by a member of the opposite sex? No.
Have laws been written that give too much latitude on what the definition of "harassment" and "uncomfortable" are? Yes.
Has this now taken away the ability for us to have fun, two-way, personal relationships with our co-workers? Yes, sad considering we usually spend more time awake with these people then we do our spouses.
Too bad there is no right answer for this. Historically, women have borne the majority of unwanted sexual harassment in the workplace, and this current generation is the one that lives with the legacy of this. Hopefully the pendulum will move a little more back towards "sane".
Not really true. I have articles of a women given life imprisonment without parole for stabbing men, which is the same penalty men are given for stabbing women.
The law on paper is no lighter on women than it is on men. Its the racial and gender stereotypes that law enforcement may possess which makes you to think about issues in such a way.
Usually, women are more likely to report such issues, and be taken seriously. If a man complains, he is called a weenie unless there is pure witness that he had experienced such a devastating situation.
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