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I don't think kicking her out is the way to go in this situation. Have you talked to her to find out the reasons why she gets herself fired? Is it intentional? Does she become bored and needs something challenging? Why doesn't she just look for another job instead of getting fired?
The daughter has chosen her own path and mom can talk till she's blue in the face, or wring her hands all day and the 'kid' is not going to change her destructive life choices.
Hopefully mom isn't supporting this gal; that would only enable her to continue her ways.
I am so glad to have found this I am at my wit's end on how to deal with my adult daughter! She is 25 yet she's been fired from every job she's ever had, and all for the same reason; attendance.
The thing is when she starts a job she's very good at it but after about a year to a year and a half she starts to get bored and starts slacking off to the point where she will make up lies so she can call in. For example, at her latest job she was fired for (after working there for 15 months) telling her boss she had fell and injured her leg and needed a few days to recuperate. He was nice and told her no problem, unfortunately she was busted when he saw her out and about, she was fired shortly there after (this wasn't the only incident there).
She has had a total of 6 jobs and the longest job she's had was 19 months; not even two years!
To make matters worse I found out she was secretly taking money from me by using my credit card to make what would seem to be an innocent transaction from wal mart or whatever but she'd use the "cash back" to get cash after she'd use my card for gas or something. Once I found that out I told her she can not use it anymore.
Any advice? Thanks!
Kicking her out of your home could be good but that is totally up to you. Where would she go if she's penniless? It's easier to say than do when it comes down to it because you still want her to be safe.
You can decide to let her still have a roof over her head in your home, and food to eat but I would cut the food way back to the very basics. Cut off ALL money. Never give her money for gas, never let her use the credit card for anything. If she gets tired of peanut butter or baloney sandwiches, she may start thinking about working. Stop paying her way for everything else.
If she ever steals from you or pawns anything, then kick her out of the house. Likely you've just made it way too easy because you hand her money or a credit card every time she's between jobs so that being between jobs doesn't hurt.
She doesn't mind being fired because there is nothing that "scares" her about losing that job. She has a nice comfy cushion to land on till she finds something else. That cushion is you, your food, your utilities, your room for her etc. I bet you buy her gas to help her "look" for another job etc. In all honesty, her job is something extra for fun stuff and that's what motivates her into working. But her necessities are all taken care of so it's just "roughing" it for a few months in between jobs on your dime.
You need to make it extremely tough on her if she loses a job. Lose her "room" by locking her door and make her a couch surfer. Change the password on the wifi. Let her cellphone go out of service for non payment. If possible, buy her an unlimited bus pass so she can look for jobs/go to interviews. Don't give her gas money. Lock your room before you leave so she can't rummage through it. It will be very annoying on you (and don't hesitate to show that annoyance too!) but the lesson will be valuable to her. (that is if you don't want to kick her out, this is the alternative)
I pretty much agree with everyone else. I also wonder if she has ADHD or something. But even if she does, she needs to keep a job. It is part of being an adult. If she lives with you, give her a month to move out and make sure she knows you will not come to her rescue if she runs out of money, and follow through! Feeding yourself and keeping a roof over your head are great motivators.
Even if she had ADHD, mom has to be careful to use that as another excuse.
I have ADHD - two jobs minimum my whole life due to boredom/need for constant change, until I found a happy medium as a 911 operator (good enough to keep me from getting too bored).
Oh I don't know. Some people like have their 40 year old living in their basement needy and dependent on Mommy for everything. Nothing wrong with that if you're into that whole sick codependent thing.
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