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Get them warmed up by bringing in a few pictures of you and her together, or something of that sort. Start using language that implies your relationship in a direct way, mention something like "oh, me and my partner Sheila went to XXX restaurant and they had the best appetizers". Or "my partner, Sheila and I watched Star Wars last night, it was a hoot".
Or start a conversation asking others if they are bringing their spouse and when one of them asks if you are bringing yours, say something like "well, I'm bringing my partner, Sheila. Yeah, I know I haven't mentioned it but it just never came up but yeah we'll be there."
I don't think you owe anyone any explanations whatsoever. You could even show up with your girlfriend at the holiday party and not say anything. I mean, what would you be doing at the party that would require explanation? It's not like you're making out with her at the party, right? That's not appropriate no matter what your sexual orientation. Let people assume what they want.
This is what I am planning on doing. I don't feel that I owe anyone an explanation, but people can be weird. I probably am over thinking it. Thanks for the reassurance.
First of all congrats on the pregnancy! Second, my two cents is if you want to bring her, then bring her! Live your life the way you are comfortable and if that means including your spouse in work related events then do so. Quit worrying about what other's will think. If THEY feel pressured, then it's THEIR problem. Not yours. Do you feel pressured that they include their spouses at events? No, right? Having said that I completely understand why you felt you had to hide it and it makes me sad that you've felt you had to hide a very important part of your life. No one should have to hide. But like Thisorthat said, you owe them NOTHING of an explanation on your personal life.
Could you talk to the other woman about this? Perhaps she could shed some light on the culture there, possibly alleviate any misgivings you have?
I'm thinking about this. I don't work with the other woman and the only reason I know is that someone mentioned that she had a GF. Don't know if it would be weird if I approach her.
I don't think you owe anyone any explanations whatsoever. You could even show up with your girlfriend at the holiday party and not say anything. I mean, what would you be doing at the party that would require explanation? It's not like you're making out with her at the party, right? That's not appropriate no matter what your sexual orientation. Let people assume what they want.
What Bande said. You don't need to "warm them up" or provide any explanation. It will be obvious when you introduce her as your partner.
Are you competent? Can you do the work? Are you reliable? That's all they need to know.
I agree this is all they really need to know. My husband and I are trying for a baby, I'm going to all sorts of appointments for fertility (so far everything is okay we just can't seem to get pregnant), and now hubby is going as well, and neither of us have told our work nor have any intention of saying we are pregnant until we start showing...
Quote:
Originally Posted by bande1102
I don't think you owe anyone any explanations whatsoever. You could even show up with your girlfriend at the holiday party and not say anything. I mean, what would you be doing at the party that would require explanation? It's not like you're making out with her at the party, right? That's not appropriate no matter what your sexual orientation. Let people assume what they want.
This is exactly what I'd do. If you don't make a big deal out of it neither will they. I would just introduce her as your partner or whatever you normally introduce her as to others
I agree this is all they really need to know. My husband and I are trying for a baby, I'm going to all sorts of appointments for fertility (so far everything is okay we just can't seem to get pregnant), and now hubby is going as well, and neither of us have told our work nor have any intention of saying we are pregnant until we start showing...
This is exactly what I'd do. If you don't make a big deal out of it neither will they. I would just introduce her as your partner or whatever you normally introduce her as to others
BTW congratulations!
Thanks!
Yes, we did the treatments too, it was a lot of appointments. I was at my other job then. Never told anyone, none of their business (medical stuff). I do wish you luck. Although I didn't have any issues that showed up on any tests, it still did take us some time and lots of $$.
It's your decision to take the risk knowing your boss has every legal right to fire you because of it.
You mean, no legal right.
I would say go for it, if you're comfortable with such a decision. If you interact a fair amount with your co-workers, it'll make it easier on you not to have to obscure your personal life, avoid names and personal pronouns etc., especially as you get more obviously pregnant.
And congrats on the upcoming kiddo! In the long run, that's going to be the most important thing in life! Jobs come and go.
I don't share any personal information with co-workers. I think it's weird how "at home" people get in the workplace.
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