Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I have a job offer at the probation officer I am interning at.
My first thought on my mind about that job is that I would stay with it until I have children and until I could get a job as an economic crime officer or family support officer (working with child abuse cases) for the county. Sadly though, I have no girlfriend right now or anyone that would lead me to marriage. I am 23 and volunteering at my church and trying to do what I should do to meet people. I am trying to make friends with more males and females, and hoping for female friends, and hoping best results of meeting a female friend I could date. But just hoping for friends and the feel good feeling from volunteering at the moment.
I really only have 3 goals after college:
1) own a house in my dream town
2) marry
3) have kids
Number one is pretty high because it's about $350,000 a 1,100 sq. ft. 3 bedroom, 2 bath home in my suburban beach town. To me it's worth it because it's pretty, schools are great, crime is low, my childhood memories are here, my church community is here, and my entertainment needs are met.
A deputy probation at my department has a salary range of $60,000-73,000. More money based on years and performance. And I believe in tithing 10% to my local church. I feel if I were a probation officer, then my wife should not work because I know I wouldn't be home as much for my kids and would like a parent to be present there for my kids. So I feel on a probation officer income alone I would not be able to afford the home in the town I want to live in.
My plan is if I marry and we need two incomes and both want to be equally available to our kids, then after getting some experience as a probation officer I could transfer to become a family support officer or economic crime officer for the county when availability comes up.
Your life is your life and you can plan it however you want. You're young but you will learn that you really don't need multiple opinions (especially from strangers) to make certain personal decisions. Do whatever you want as long as you're willing to deal with the consequences.
It's not unusual for a man to be close to 40 before he marries. Don't be so anxious to meet someone to marry and enjoy life as a single person, saving for your future. You can buy the house before meeting someone, also.
Your life is your life and you can plan it however you want. You're young but you will learn that you really don't need multiple opinions (especially from strangers) to make certain personal decisions. Do whatever you want as long as you're willing to deal with the consequences.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rubi3
It's not unusual for a man to be close to 40 before he marries. Don't be so anxious to meet someone to marry and enjoy life as a single person, saving for your future. You can buy the house before meeting someone, also.
I only just graduated this year, but agree with both of these.
I want a lot of the same things that you do (house, good career, etc) but I don't have a lot planned out as far as a time frame goes... I believe in baby steps, lol. But maybe that's because I'm sooooo Type-A that I get overwhelmed when thinking too far into the future right now. Like, I'm so Type-A that if I start planning the future, it's going to be down to the last penny... and then when it doesn't happen, I'm going to have to replan that crap all over again.
So, to lower my anxiety I plan in baby steps. Until today, my only goal was to get a job. Now I have a job, so my next goal is saving as much as reasonably possible and more professional networking.
Take the job, be happy you have work and start working on saving some money. Getting married is not something you check off a list like picking up milk.
It's not unusual for a man to be close to 40 before he marries. Don't be so anxious to meet someone to marry and enjoy life as a single person, saving for your future. You can buy the house before meeting someone, also.
Good idea.
Quote:
Originally Posted by joe from dayton
Take the job, be happy you have work and start working on saving some money. Getting married is not something you check off a list like picking up milk.
i see alot of people getting married younger and younger.
You're overthinking things far too much at this point.
Live your life, know that plans change for better or worse, and do what makes you happy in the moment. If you fixate too much on 'need: house, wife, kids' you're going to scare people away. You're all kinds of red flags at this point planning a life for you (and a hypothetical family!).
You asked for input so here goes. Stop giving 10% to a church. There I said it. You're effectively throwing money in the garbage.
Also, stop overthinking it. You can't force marriage or kids.. a woman will come eventually, and kids after that. As far as your house, that is a lofty goal. Don't expect to be able to afford a $350,000 house straight out of school. I'd suggest renting cheaply and saving up a down payment for a couple years, then re-evaluate.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
