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My most recent job had some of this nonsense. I was new to the CAM world, and while my direct supervisor and most of the guys on the shop floor were supportive of me and happy with my work, the other CAM programmers hated me for my inexperience. Nearly everything with them devolved into, "This is the way we've done it for 20 years, and it's documented nowhere, but you still should have known even though we never told you or gave you bad information intentionally because it's funny." That's one of the curses of working in a small, dysfunctional company - idiots can turn entire departments into their own personal kingdoms and make life hell for any newcomers.
I later learned that this machine shop has a reputation for being the worst place of its kind to work in the area by a long margin, and I understand why now. They also burn through CAM programmers like a chain smoker goes through cigarettes; the hateful attitude problems, unreasonable demands, and confrontational nature of every interaction rapidly burns people out. A few months before I started there, 2 CAM programmers quit in disgust on nearly the same day (and they only had 4 programmers), and the 1 CAM guy they hired after me lasted less than a month before walking out and cursing the place's very existence.
I really can't blame them - the place was a disaster for management and interpersonal skills, was run by a tyrant, and full of nothing but hatred and idiocy. At this point, they are on the edge of bankruptcy, so it won't matter much longer.
So, speaking from experience, I'd starting looking for a new job. Sociopaths NEVER CHANGE. They love conflict and the only joy they get out of life is making others miserable. They are also immune to facts and reason.
Good luck.
Last edited by Rambler123; 02-13-2014 at 08:31 AM..
I personally think that leaving this job as soon as possible is the best option. If you say the job wasn't a good fit and you don't say anything critical about your manager or the company, most GOOD employers will understand.
I was in a similar position. I interviewed for an internal position after my job in another office was eliminated. When I interviewed, I was clear about what I did not know how to do in the new position. She was out of the office my 1st 2 days while I had instructor-led computer-based training for the new position. I worked with her and her other assistant for almost 2 full days (she came in late and left early both days). The 5th day she worked from home. At the end of the day, the branch manager called me in and let me go.
So my boss worked with me for less than 2 full days and decided she didn't like me. The branch manager apologized, said that she's done this before and that she wasn't going to let this woman hire anybody herself again. I had some signs before I even got hired that this was going to be a really tough job. The internal recruiter told me she was very disorganized (that was supposed to be my focus and I could have gotten things running smoothly), and that she was VERY difficult to work for. I really wanted to stay with the company, so against my better judgment, I took the job. The hiring procedure took almost a month, she didn't show up for my interview the 1st time, so I had to go back another day. That was my 2nd clue that it wouldn't work out.
I could have done the JOB, but I wouldn't have been able to deal with her personality long-term. She gave me very limited instructions, had a very short attention span, making it difficult to get clarification from her. She basically expected me to read her mind. If she'd given me a chance, I probably could have gotten to be able to anticipate what she needed. Her other assistant had worked for her for nearly a year, but really didn't know much about our industry. I taught him a lot in the 3 days I worked with him. He was a friend of hers who she treated like dog doo. The 3 of us shared an office and she yelled at him once and he just sat at his desk looking miserable and didn't try to defend himself. I think she was looking for somebody to be part of her entourage and worship her. That's not something I do. I was actually pretty relieved to be let go from this job.
I have been at my job for only two months. From the first week, my boss has been criticizing my work very harshly, and it seems personal to me.
She points out small errors I make and tells me that I should "know" not to make them, even though they are things that are specific to the industry which is brand new to me. I came from a very different setting and while many of my skills are transferrable, I am still in the process of learning the ropes in the new industry and there is no way that I can know what the standards are until she tells me. She acts like I should have this knowledge magically transplanted into my head already.
Nearly every time I go to her with a question, it's the same type of response. Then she turns around and complains to me that I don't ask her enough questions, or the right type of questions! She seems to have these expectations in her head for me that she has never outlined for me, yet I am being held to them nonetheless. I feel like she is backing me up against a wall and making it so that I can do nothing right. It feels more like she is trying to control me or cut me down than actually help me learn.
I have been very close to losing my temper multiple times but I am smarter than that, so I keep it cool and defend myself but she will not budge. One coworker commented to me that he thinks she is threatened by me and wants to keep me "in my place".
Does this not sound totally personal???
Quote:
Originally Posted by SwimGal
I don't want to resort to quitting but she is acting crazy. My other coworker is really passive and quiet, won't even talk in meetings, and my boss just loves her. But that's because she says "yes" all the time and jumps whenever my boss says so. I am not going to change into the doormat my boss wants me to be.
Your situation sounds very similar to mine... except I was fortunate enough to get laid off shortly after new management was brought in to replace the supervisor that had left for another job.
The new boss was a total PITA. I knew the very first day when he notified me I was only to use the bathroom on my breaks and asked me why I was 15 seconds late coming back from my lunch that it was going to be a bad experience but thankfully I only had to deal with this guy for about 3 weeks. I don't think it was personal... I think he was just trying to push my buttons to see how far he could go while trying to make himself look good to the company owner.
Rather than type it all again I'll just quote my recent response to another thread...
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kees
I was laid off a few weeks back for the 2nd time in a year... but saw it coming and added a couple roommates back in October who are paying ALL the rent and utilities... even the cable/internet bill. (Yes, I am living here for free)
My unemployment is $570 a week. Not quite what I was making on my job but it will do until I find something. In the meantime I will survive on a monthly unemployment income that is twice my monthly expenses without having to touch the $15k I have available on my credit cards or the year or so of non-roommate living expenses I have saved. My current state claim that I reopened from the first layoff runs another 15 weeks till June... then I could file a new state claim for another 26 weeks to get me through December.
So basically I am covered for all of 2014 from the state of Washington unemployment without having to rely on the now cancelled government EUC. (Not that I expect to be out of work that long but it's nice to have something to lean on.)
I definitely won't be taking the first crappy job that falls my way... I have time to search for the best fit and will survive without an issue. I've had a couple interviews that I am waiting to hear back on and have another scheduled for next week.
If anything this layoff is a vacation from my last job which was becoming a nightmare full of stress due to new management and what not... they did me a favor laying me off and now I can job search while getting paid.
Anyway, SwimGal, sadly, your boss is a petty and vindictive (female dog). This is common in "civil service" organizations, and even large enough private corporations. People who like the petty exercise of power, that has nothing to do with the task at hand. A popular term for this is "chicken (you know what)" because it is small, petty and stinkier than horse or bull or elephant you know what.
My advice at this point is:
1. Be as good and punctual and hardworking as you can be, arrive eartly, stay late, etc. as others suggested.
2. See if you can ask questions from someone else who reports to this boss, rather than to her directly. Direct all the questions you have to your "lead" or a peer with more experience than you, rather than to this boss.
3. See if you can "transfer" within the firm, and report to someone else altogether. Does another sector need an employee? Check the bulletin boards for this sort of thing.
4. Start looking around for another job when you get home. Assume this petty "lady" has fired you already and the legal paperwork has just not come down the pipeline. Even in an employment-at-will situation, there is a legal pipeline.
(That sounds contradictory? Actually it isn't. Work as if you can still stay and change things, but have a contingency plan in case you cannot.)
Finally, if all else fails:
5. If you can get revenge......parking lot tire slashings? Stink bombs on her porch? Ok, I keed; I keed. But just work hard on steps 1-4, and you may have the best revenge of living well and outgrowing / outlasting this "lady".
why do you women continue getting jobs where your boss is another woman.......you will never win.Ever. She will set you up to fail or get you demoted. Or force you to quit so you don't get unemployment. She will secretly give your prospective employers bad references on you. You don't remember high school? You forgot what it's like when your group leader is another female? You forgot college (if you went)? You don't know what sororities are like? Just turn on the TV or look in the papers. The stories are there. Many of the threads on here are so incredibly repetitive. Why do you think there are so few women CEOs in F500 corporations? Do some research...and work for a man next time.
Sadly, the "Queen Bee" attitude seems to be permitted among female bosses, whereas a tyrant male boss is rightfully seen as, well, an a**h***.
The minute you have a boss that you can't get along and you've tried your best and just ain't good enough. You should quickly plan your way out. I know finding another job is difficult but that would be the best. Employers have the upper hand when it comes to hiring but if more people would just wake up and change jobs they are not happy at then employers would be forced to adopt better standards with treatment of workers.
Back in 2001, the economy was doing very well. I often see people not show up the next day because they found a better job or people who openly announce they have an interview. The job market was too good I believe unemployment was at 3.5%
Managers had to go the extra mile to retain workers. If there was a manager that could not please or retain workers they will get fired.
It was a very different economy at that time than today. I don't think we'll ever go back to those days but if you don't get along with a boss and you've tried your best already then there's really no other choice because you are only prolonging the inevitable and allowing your boss to make your life miserable.
Sadly, the "Queen Bee" attitude seems to be permitted among female bosses, whereas a tyrant male boss is rightfully seen as, well, an a**h***.
Eh... not so sure about this - I think it depends upon the company.
I've seen countless male bosses who are total sociopaths who have had their behavior swept under the rug with absurd phrases such as: "that's just the way he is," or "well, he has a business to run, so he has to be like that," and so on.
Nothing really excuses this type of behavior. I don't care how important a person is, or if they "have a business to run" - lying, cheating, abusing employees, picking fights, and being an all around jerk is simply not acceptable. The problem is, at least in our culture, that type of behavior is mistaken for "strength," or "leadership ability."
Sadly, the "Queen Bee" attitude seems to be permitted among female bosses, whereas a tyrant male boss is rightfully seen as, well, an a**h***.
in my 17 years of working, I swear on my father's grave, I have never ever had a male tyrant boss.I have never had a macho chauvinist boss ever either. I have worked in the white collar environment. But the women bosses? Every single one had some serious defect and was either a Queen Bee, or Malificent, or Devil Wears Prada type - Mean Girls. The funny thing, although not surprising is that they all treated their male subordinates better. In every case of mine. There has been so much research, statistics and other literature out there that just proves that if, today, you're a woman/young girl who wants to have upward mobility in her career, WORK FOR MEN IN MALE DOMINATED FIELDS. Or own your own business and work for yourself.
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